I sighed deeply, dropping my head to stare at the floor for a moment before looking back up and into her eyes. “It was better at the start of the season. Or at least I thought it was. Lately, it’s been bothering me again. A lot,” I admitted.
“What does the team doctor say?” she asked me with a concerned expression on her face.
“Nothing, Aubrey. I haven’t told Coach about it, so the team doctor hasn’t checked out my knee since the start of the season when he released me to play,” I answered softly.
She gasped at my response. “Oh, Luka. Tell me you didn’t. You’ve been playing injured? Don’t you know how much damage you could do to your knee?”
“That’s where Josie comes in. One of my friends from back home knows her and suggested I ask her for help,” I said.
“What kind of help?” Aubrey wanted to know.
“She’s in the physical therapy doctorate program and has been doing some sports therapy on my knee. Trying to help me rebuild the muscle and improve my range of motion so it doesn’t bother me so much,” I replied. “She grew up skating so she knows a lot about the sport, and she’s done a really good job with my knee.”
“But couldn’t you have gotten physical therapy if you’d talked to your coach about the problem too?” Aubrey retorted. “Why go to a student when you could have been getting proper care this whole time?”
“At first, I was worried that, if I went to Coach, I’d be placed on the injured reserve list or bumped off the team, and I wasn’t sure what that would do to my scholarship,” I admitted. “I didn’t want to have to make the call home to tell my parents that I’d messed up and needed them to pay for this year.”
Aubrey got up and walked over to sit down next to me. She grabbed my hand and held it in hers. “Your health is more important than anything else.”
“I guess I wasn’t thinking that clearly. Jason tried telling me that it wouldn’t be a problem because it’s my senior year, but I didn’t listen,” I said. “Because the other part of it was that we have a really good chance to make it far in the NCAA Championship Tournament this season. And I don’t want to be on the reserve list because of my knee. I want to be on the ice with my team, doing what I can to get us to the Frozen Four.”
“Jesus, you’re so fucking stubborn,” she growled. “So you decided to keep playing while your coach had no idea your knee was bothering you. Letting a student help you stay in good condition instead of seeing a doctor. But why in the world did you not tell me what was going on so I could be there for you through all of this?”
“Because even though I talked to Josie about my knee and Jason knew what was going on, I was still able to pretend like it wasn’t real in some way if I didn’t talk to you about it,” I confessed. “And I know you, Aubrey. If you knew, there’s no way you wouldn’t have pestered me to death until I gave in and told Coach what was going on.”
She seemed to consider my words for a moment before agreeing with me. “Of course I would have! I still think it’s the right thing to do, but it’s your decision to make. Just please tell me you’re sure that you aren’t risking huge knee problems in the future.”
“I’m actually doing much better now. The exercises I’ve been doing with Josie are really paying off,” I promised. “Does that mean you understand and aren’t angry with me?”
Aubrey rolled her eyes at that. “Yes, I understand. But no, it does not mean that I’m not angry with you.”
“Because I didn’t talk to you about everything?” I asked for clarification. Aubrey nodded her head and made a circular motion with her hand to let me know that there was more to it. “And because of Josie?”
“Ding, ding, ding,” she said sarcastically. “Yes, Luka. I’m hurt that you didn’t choose to share this with me, and I hope, in the future, that you stop and think about it before making the same decision ever again. But I’m royally pissed that you broke the damn rule that you insisted on in the first place, because when we agreed to it, I didn’t even see the need for it. You’re the one who wanted the damn rule and then you turn around and trample all over it.”
“You’re absolutely right,” I agreed. “And I know it doesn’t help, but in my defense, I don’t even see Josie as a girl like that. She’s a few years older than we are, never treated me as anything other than a patient, and the bottom line is she just isn’t you.”