Sasha lifted her chin. “I’m doing this for me. Proving I can do it. I know I’m not ready to go back to a play party yet, but surely I can handle sitting and listening to Dena go on and on about legal matters.”
Julie eyed her friend warily. It looked like Sasha had found her stubborn side again. Yet Julie still pictured her hunched over talking to Peter. “Will he be there?”
“No,” Sasha whispered. “He’s not allowed yet.”
“I thought Jeff said he could remain in the group?”
“Master Greene’s his mentor and he told him he couldn’t attend yet.”
A small smile tickled Julie’s lips. “I knew I liked that Greene guy.”
“You could go with me,” Sasha said, a glimmer of uncertainty showing for the first time. “I’d feel better with a friend.”
Julie reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t say anything else about you going to the meeting as long as you don’t say anything else about me not going.”
Two hours later, Julie sat on her couch, not paying any attention to the movie on her television. Her mind ran trails this way and that, trying to guess what was happening at the group meeting. She pictured Daniel, sitting near the front, and hoped there wouldn’t be any small talk about why she wasn’t with him.
Daniel was strong, though; a little bit of gossip wouldn’t bother him. But it might, she decided, send signals to unattached submissives that he was on the market. That he was available and looking. After listening to Dena, she no longer entertained thoughts the vivacious blonde had her eyes on him, but there were plenty of other single women in the group.
With a sigh, she turned the movie off and walked into her bedroom. Almost unbidden, her feet carried her to the dresser, and without stopping to think twice, she took out the red bracelet and slipped it on her wrist. Holding her arm out, she twisted it one way and then the other before taking the plastic band off and putting it back in the drawer.
She sat down heavily on her bed. She’d thought it best to keep her thoughts of being submissive separate from Daniel, but found it to be impossible. In her mind, the two were intertwined. If only she could decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Grabbing a pillow, she rolled to her side, her mind drifting back to Daniel and the last time she’d been in his playroom.
He’d been evil.
Evil in a horribly pleasurable nightmarish game of bringing her right to the edge, only to jerk her back down.
He hadn’t bound her. Instead, she’d been on her back, knees bent with feet flat against the padded table. Her hands had been fisted tightly at her side while she fought to obey the one command he’d given her: don’t orgasm without permission.
He’d been doing wicked things to her body. His mouth had been hot, sucking her ni**les just to the brink of pain and then scraping the sensitive tips with his teeth. And his hands . . . holy hell, his hands had been working a dildo in and out of her. Alternating short, shallow passes with deep, penetrating thrusts.
The entire time he’d been whispering.
“Can’t wait to f**k you.”
“Feel so good pushing my dick inside.”
“Going to ride you hard.”
Then, right when she thought she couldn’t hold out anymore, right at the second before her body betrayed her and disobeyed him, he stepped away. Her breathing had been choppy and ragged, but his kisses were sweet and his praise generous as he told her how well she was doing and how proud he was. Her heart didn’t have a chance to slow, though, before he once more worked her eager flesh into another frenzy. . . .
Julie opened her eyes and squinted at the lamplight in her bedroom. Her body burned, remembering Daniel’s touch and command. It’d seemed so simple that afternoon. Everything about their time in the playroom seemed simple. In that room, there were only two people and the rules were easy to remember: he spoke and she acted. Why was it when she stepped outside everything got muddy?
She flipped to her belly, remembering the rest.
Her body quivered in restrained need. She’d been certain she’d come if he even breathed on her. His hands stroked her skin and she amazed herself by arching into his touch, but holding out once more. She was putty in his hands, his to command, and his to pleasure at will.
He gently pulled her from the table, only to bend her over it, and inside she rejoiced at the sound of his zipper being pulled down and the rip of a foil packet. Then his body was warm against hers and he’d whispered into her ear.
“Brace yourself, kitten. I’m hard and horny as hell.” His fingers slid inside, ensuring she was ready for his cock. “This won’t be soft or gentle, but you can come when you want and as often as you’re able.”
She gasped when he entered her fully with one powerful thrust. As promised, he rode her hard and long, and she lost count after her third cl**ax. He’d been unrelenting in his quest for pleasure, unashamed in his use of her, and his c**k drove mercilessly toward one goal. But as he stilled deep inside her body, breaking the silence of the playroom with the roar of his own release, she realized the truth of who she was. Who she is.
She is his.
Julie jerked, remembering. Had she really thought that? She must have, the memory was so clear. Likewise, she remembered it running through her head while Daniel gathered her, afterward, in his arms and kissed her trembling flesh, calming her overly sensitized skin. He drew a warm bath and washed her with a careful touch.
She recalled brushing his rough cheek with her hand and how he pressed a kiss into her palm.
Her eyes burned, as she remembered that days later she got the call. How quickly she’d forgotten everything when she heard Sasha was in the hospital.
What if the call had never come? What if nothing had happened between Sasha and Peter? Where would she and Daniel be today?
Her concentration shattered with the sound of her doorbell.
Troubled, she jumped off the bed and ran to the door. Looking back at her through the peephole was Sasha. She’d been crying.
“Julie,” she sobbed as the door opened. “Can I stay here tonight?”
Julie ushered her inside, grabbing tissues, and guiding her into the living room. “Yes, of course. Are you okay? What happened?”
“You were right.” Sasha wiped her eyes and dropped onto the couch. “About everything.”
“Oh, no.”
“Yes, it was way too soon. And I don’t care what anyone says, I’m never going back.” A shudder ran through Sasha’s body. “Ever.”
• • •
As the last remaining members trickled out of the room, Daniel slowly filled his lungs with air and exhaled. His back ached and he was tired, but even still he knew what sleep he did claim in a few hours’ time would be punctuated with dreams of Julie.
There had been some raised eyebrows and questioning glances when he showed up alone, but no one said anything to him directly. Both the blessing and the curse of being a senior member.
Jeff stood watching him. “You okay?”“Yeah.” He glanced at his friend. “Just thinking about Sasha. She didn’t look too good when she left.”
It was partially true. He’d also wondered briefly if he should call Julie and have her go by Sasha’s house. Just as quickly, he knew he couldn’t call Julie; it was much too soon and entirely too late. And if experience taught him anything, Julie wouldn’t answer.
“I was surprised to see her back so soon,” Jeff said.
Daniel pushed back from the table and took his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll text Dena, have her reach out to Sasha.”
Jeff gave him a curt nod and then added, “I was even more surprised to see Sasha here alone.”
Daniel had been, too. Not that he ever imagined Julie showing up with her; he knew that wouldn’t happen. Had Dena not been giving the talk, he was certain she’d have sat with Sasha. And several of the other group members had spoken with her, but they had been tentative and too careful.
“Julie’s not up for discussion tonight,” he said in response to Jeff’s earlier statement.
“She’s a strong woman, but she’s hurting. She’s going to need someone patient and resilient to help her heal,” Jeff said. “To help her find herself once more.”
Daniel stood up, steeling himself to go home and face his lonely bed. “Sasha’s been a member for years. She’ll find her way.”
Jeff’s gaze pierced him. “I wasn’t talking about Sasha.”
• • •
Daniel walked through his house an hour later. Dena had finally replied, texting back that Julie had answered Sasha’s phone. While he was glad Sasha had such a supportive friend, the selfish part of him couldn’t help but wonder how much further this would push Julie away from her submissive needs.
Jeff’s words echoed in his mind. Patient and resilient. He felt certain he’d been both, but had he been patient and resilient enough? At one time he thought so. Had he, in fact, been self-serving and too quick to call everything off? When he was with Julie, hell, when he just thought of her, every emotion he experienced seemed magnified. But what was done was done.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and for the quickest of seconds, he thought it would be Julie. A quick glance told him otherwise.
“Cole,” he said with a half smile. “How’s India?”
“It smells.”
Cole must not have arrived at his final destination yet. Usually when he was on assignment, Daniel didn’t hear from him at all.
“Everything else okay?” Daniel asked.
There was a long silence from the other end of the line and he wondered if they’d been disconnected when Cole answered simply, “Kate sold the house.”
He could only imagine how much that hurt. The final blow. The last good-bye. “Sorry to hear that.”
“It’s for the best. Neither one of us wanted it.”
Neither one of them wanted it alone and without the other person, in other words. “Still . . .”
“Yes. Well,” Cole said. “How was the group meeting?” he asked as if desperate to change the topic of conversation.
“Julie wasn’t there. Sasha was.”
“Certainly would have been better the other way around.”
Daniel snorted.
“Still nothing from her?”
“No,” Daniel said. “Still nothing.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. You did the right thing.”
“If you love something, yada yada?”
“There’s a lot of truth in that.”
Yes, Daniel supposed, there probably was. Deep inside, he knew he’d made the right choice in doing what he had. Knew that as much as it hurt, he’d make the same choice again.
Then Cole surprised him. “Give her time. I have a strong suspicion she’ll come back. Deep down she knows the truth about her submission.”
Daniel almost dropped his phone. “What? How?”
“The night you whipped Peter, I made her call me ‘sir.’”
“You what?”
“I greeted her and she replied with some flippant remark. You know what that does to me.”
“Cole,” he groaned. He knew his friend had a certain reputation in the playroom. The Badass Brit. Hell, he’d watched him scene before; he knew he could be a bastard. Honest and fair? Yes. Just harder than Daniel.
“I won’t apologize.”
“Wasn’t asking you to.”
“Just wanted you to know, deep down she knows.”
It was too much to hope for. He had to change the subject. “Cole?”
“Yeah.”
“You did the right thing, too. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, Kate, or your child for you to have given in on something you feel so strongly about.”