“You’re laughing about it?” she asked.
“Sure, now. Then I was scared shitless thinking I was some sort of deviant who should either be locked up or kept far, far away from women.”
“So, what did you do?”
“I quickly learned that the more I told myself I wouldn’t think about it, the more I actually thought about it. I was miserable. For a long time. Then one day I was online and saw a notice for a group gathering and I went. Met some like-minded people. Discovered I wasn’t a freak.” He winked at her. “Learned how to give a proper spanking.”
She laughed.
“The point is, I’ve been where you are,” he said. “From a different point of view, but one just as hard to come to terms with.”
Knowing he’d dealt with his own demons while accepting his sexual needs gave her a sense of relief and hope. Just like Daniel, maybe she’d one day look back on this time in her life and smile at how far she’d come.
She reached across the table and took his hand. “Thank you.”
• • •
Daniel was smiling brightly when she arrived at his house on Saturday. “Hello, Julie. I see you’ve brought your bag.”
He’d asked her when they met for lunch if she’d stay overnight. At the time, she told him she’d have to check her calendar and make sure she thought the invitation through. At times, she felt everything was moving too fast and that she should take a step back. The funny thing was, though, every time she did think on it, she found herself wanting more of Daniel.
He leaned over to take her bag, and his lips brushed her cheek in the process. “You smell great.”
She’d actually put on the body mist as an afterthought. As she’d gotten dressed, nervous about not knowing how to prepare oneself for a playroom session, her eyes had fallen on the mostly neglected mist and she’d thought if you had to be naked, you should at least smell good.
He placed her bag inside the front door, explaining they could take it upstairs later, and led her into his living room. She sat beside him on the couch, taking the hand he offered her.
“How’s your weekend so far?” he asked.
She nodded. “Okay. Better now. Worked a bit this morning. How’s your grandmother?”
“Tess is still fighting me on putting her in an assisted living facility. The thing is, I’m not home enough to care for her properly, so she can’t move in here, and, well, Tess just found out she’s pregnant with twins.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Exactly, like she wasn’t busy enough with one.” He shook his head. “A facility just seems to be the best thing right now.”
She squeezed his hand. “You’ll decide on the right thing.”
“I sure hope so.” He lifted her hand to his lips. “But we can talk about this later. You came to play, right?”
“Yes, but I also came to spend time with you. To get to know you better and because I like you.”
“You have no idea how refreshing it is to be with someone who tells it like it is.” He leaned so close she felt the heat radiate off him. “I like you, too.”
His hand came up and cupped the side of her face, while his lips trailed lower to brush against hers. Softly. Nothing but a touch, but already she was hungry and aching for him. She clenched her fists in her lap.
He pulled away, but left an arm around her shoulders. “I thought we could spend some time in the playroom today. Nothing intense, just some basics.”
She leaned closer to him, anxious for more of his touch. “Yes.”
“Last weekend, I gave you ‘red’ as a safe word. There’s also ‘green’ if you want more, and ‘yellow’ if I’m pushing too hard or you’re approaching your limit.”
Green, yellow, and red. Seemed simple enough.
“No one should ever hold the use of a safe word against you. And you should never, ever play without one.” His arm dropped from her shoulder. “Make sense?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, simply because it seemed the right thing to say.
He gazed at her with unconcealed hunger and then took her in his arms and kissed her with a breathless intensity. His lips were hard and so possessive that she was finally beginning to understand the warnings he’d given her in the past.
He moaned when he pulled back. “Julie.” He took her hand and placed it on the bulge of his erection. “When you call me that . . .”
Something a lot like pride rushed through her at being able to affect him so.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes, sir,” she said, stroking him through the material of his jeans. “Please, sir.”
“My, my, my, you nearly purred when you said that.” He lifted his h*ps into her palm. “Does my playful little kitten want what’s in her hand?”
She gave him another stroke. “Yes, sir.”
He grabbed her wrist. “Then first she has to prove she can behave. Submissives are always n**ed in my playroom and as of right now, that’s what you are. Meet me in there in ten minutes. You can undress in my bedroom.”
• • •
It was funny the things your brain thought sometimes, she decided as she walked to the playroom minutes later. Like, if she got undressed in his room, where did he get ready? Did he even have to get ready? Would he be naked?
Then of course, there were the thoughts she expected. How odd it was to be walking around his house naked. The excitement with a touch of trepidation at the fact that she was n**ed and on her way to his playroom.
The door to the playroom was open, and though Daniel stood inside waiting, he wasn’t where her eyes were drawn. Instead, she looked to the far corner where the whipping post had stood the previous weekend.
It wasn’t there.
She glanced around the rest of the room, but couldn’t find it.
“Come on inside, kitten, you won’t find what you’re looking for.”
If someone had told her the day before that someone calling her “kitten” would be a turn-on, she’d have called him a liar. Yet somehow, when Daniel said it, it made her feel sexy and strong.
“Punctual, I see.”
She wasn’t sure if the no-talk rule of the previous weekend still applied, so she decided to be quiet until told otherwise.
“Come stand next to me.”
He had changed, she noted. Or more aptly, he’d taken his sweater and shoes off, but left his jeans on. His eyes traveled over her body as she approached.
“So beautiful without those clothes.” The back of his hand brushed her breast and she leaned into his touch. “Mmm, you’ll have to earn the pets, kitten,” he said, removing his hands.
She almost whimpered; she wanted his touch so badly.
“Next time I have you meet me in here,” he continued, “I want you kneeling, like this.”
He dropped to his knees, butt resting on his heels. His hands each cupped a knee, and his head was bowed. He looked up. “You try.”
She knelt like he had, trying to get her body in the same position. Daniel came behind her, straightened her back, ensured her shoulders were square. Then he stood before her and separated her knees a bit with his foot.
He was silent for so long, she almost looked up. In fact, she’d decided to do just that when he finally spoke.
“A submissive is not weak because a Dominant controls her. A submissive is strong because she surrenders her power to him willingly.” He rested his hand on the top of her head. “It is not a power a Dominant should take lightly. Rather he should guard it as he would his life and when he returns it, she should feel her power increased because of his care.”
Kneeling before him like she was, it finally made sense to her. It did take strength to submit. While it was difficult on some level to be on her knees before someone, it also felt oddly right. She took a deep breath and allowed all the preconceived notions she’d held to disappear.
Daniel must have sensed a change in her somehow, because at her exhalation he simply whispered, “That’s my girl.”
His words washed over her body, spreading warmth, almost as if he’d touched her.
Then his hand stroked her shoulder and playful Daniel was back. “Stand up and come with me, kitten.”
He led her to the padded table she’d looked over the weekend before. Interesting, but nothing scary. It looked rather like a twin-sized bed, covered with leather. He patted the surface. “Hop up.”
Much like he did when she knelt for him, he positioned her the way he wanted her. This time on her back.
“There are straps out to your side. Reach out, grab, and hold on. Keep your legs here,” he said, separating them slightly. “Your job is to not move. Understood?”
She took a strap in each hand and took a deep breath. “Yes, sir.”
“Relax,” he said, softly brushing her cheek, his thumb trailing along her eyelid. “Close your eyes and concentrate on the sensations and not moving.”
His hands moved in an unexpected massage, lightly across her face, down her shoulders, and up her arms. Then back the other way. Over and over he caressed her as she sank deeper into the leather.
So caught up was she in the sensation of his touch, she jerked when his finger unexpectedly grazed her nipple.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he said, and his hands were gone.
She had to fight not to open her eyes in an attempt to find him. Surely he hadn’t left. But he wasn’t touching her and it was so quiet.
The seconds dragged on.
“Let’s try again,” he said, low and soft, and right by her side.
Once more he started his sensual massage and when he next brushed over a nipple, she remained still.
“Good girl.” There was a flicker of warmth where he’d touched her and then his mouth replaced his fingers, sucking.
She whimpered, but remained still.
“Such a good girl,” he said. “I think my kitten needs a reward.” His lips trailed across her skin until he reached her other breast and he suckled that nipple. He teased her with his lips and tongue, gently palming one side of her while kissing the other.
Then he bit oh so slightly on her nipple and it felt so good, she lifted herself up for more.
He didn’t say a word, but moved away and she was empty and alone and cold without him. She tried to feel his presence, but she had no sense of him, couldn’t judge where he was. The very air in the room stood still.
Steeling her body, she willed him to return and vowed not to move again.
But there was nothing but silence.
Just when she’d convinced herself the session was over, he stroked her hair and she sighed.
“Better now?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, thrilled to have his hands on her again.
He kept himself contained to the upper part of her body, never venturing past her waist, but setting every nerve ending she had aflame as he worked his sensual magic on her skin. It felt as if every caress reverberated between her legs, and she wondered if she could come from breast play alone.
“You’re being so good, kitten,” he whispered against her skin. “I’m going to keep going.”
Though she pretty much knew what he meant, it still took all the strength she could muster up to stay still when he haphazardly dragged a fingertip from her belly button, down lower, tracing between her legs. The second pass was heavier. The third time, he dipped a finger into her.
She sucked in a breath, but remained still.
“Such a good girl.”
He added a second finger and began stroking in and out of her body. Every stroke had him going just a bit deeper, and her body tensed with the effort to be still.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
She had almost convinced herself of it when his thumb started brushing her cl*t with every inward thrust. Her legs trembled. She couldn’t do it.