Because shes no longer mated to him? Doesnt that release him? Or does he suffer because the break was against his will?
It doesnt matter why the mating ends. Magic makes the ties between mates stronger than humans. Unlike divorce, theres a magical connection that doesnt simply disappear because the union is over.
Even under all his madness, he misses her?
Lucan doesnt remember who he is but, he knows Anka at a core level. I can only give him energy by tricking him into believing Im her. I use her soap and shampoo, wear her clothes, whatever is necessary.
Under all that torment, Lucan waited for his one true love. And she might be gone from him forever. Tears welled.
But if Anka is free of Mathias and has left Aquarius, why doesnt she return to Lucan?
She doesnt remember him. Magics way of ensuring survival of the species, I suppose. Shes currently mateless and in need of a male with whom she can charge her energy. If she remembered Lucan and suffered as he does, shed never allow another to mount her and potentially impregnate her. Conceiving is possible, but difficult if unmated, and with Lucan in her memory and heart, shed likely never mate again.
Nor will Lucan.
Men who have been well mated usually emerge from their mate mourning with a strong yearning to mate again.
Usually? I hear uncertainty in your voice.
Sabelle winced. Lucan may be different. . . .
Sydney dared to glance at Lucan again. His gleaming chest and shoulders rippled with each strain against the ropes. His growl was a threat that sent shivers down her spine. His love must be powerful, indeed. And Sabelle had tricked him into bedding her?
Its the only way to keep him alive.
Cadens reluctance to mate made sense now. He liked being in control. Lucans descent into madness because of magic would be the worst horror to a soldier with such self command.
They were in the midst of a war, and Sydney had put herself straight in the path of danger. Coupled with the fact shed brought Caden to her side by foul meanseven if the book no longer played a role between themhis retreat made a sad sort of sense.
She bit her lip. She needed to talk to him, if only to say that she understood. Is Caden here?
Im sure he is. He doesnt know were here. Lucan long ago allowed Bram and me to visit without chiming in. Sabelle handed her a little white rock. Im leaving, since Lucans energy is holding and Im not needed. When youre ready to return, just toss this stone in the air and say my name. Ill return for you. Sabelle hugged her, then warned, Given his worries about Lucan and Mathiass backlash, Caden may be a bit on edge.
A shuffle and a quiet knock on the family room door, Caden twisted around in the plush recliner, expecting to see Sabelle. The sight of Sydney punched him with a breathless rush of thrill and need.
Hed been away from her for four hours and missed her with a frightening intensity, like a junkie craving a fix. After settling Lucan back into his home, Caden had done little except pace and sweat and wish to God he could hear or smell or touch Sydney. Or taste her. He had to get his desire under control before he could protect her. Worse, his energy was waning, and he realized that as an unmated male, he could bed anyone. And must do so soon.
But he only wanted her.
Then his brain kicked in. Why was she here? Sabelle, he realized. And the only reason for the witch to visit was Lucan.
Anxiety buzzed his blood, and he fought to rein in the curse on the tip of his tongue. Sydney now knew far more about his objections. That fact softened her normally sharp gaze.
Damn it, she felt sorry for him.
I know youre not expecting me. She took a hesitant step into the room, eyes flicking to the book on the nearby table. I dont mean to barge in, but I had to see you. Why didnt you tell me about Lucan and his mate mourning?
Caden took a hesitant step closerbut not too close. That would be dangerous. It doesnt change anything.
But your refusal to share with me does. I only wanted the truth.
She rushed across the room to stand by his side. Her smell blindsided him with hunger and longing. He dug his fingers into his thigh to keep from reaching out and hauling her into his arms.
I understand now what you fear, she murmured. Why youve avoided mating with me. Your brother has lost all control, and thats something you strive to retain. Im sorry for him, but you dont know that Lucans condition would become yours
Given the way youve thrown yourself into a war, I do. Your bravery is commendable, but its placed you in grave danger. You dont take precautions, and I know youll try to refuse my protection, even if I insist you follow my rules
Your rules? Im hardly a child in need of guidance.
He stepped closer, toe to toe, towering over her. That spicy-sweet scent of hers infiltrated and intoxicated his senses, tightening his gut. The inevitable erection sprang to life moments later. He had to get rid of her quickly. His resistance to her kiss was weakening.
You met Mathias face-to-face and duped him. Angered him. He wont forget that. Or the fact you revealed him to magickind. He will hunt you down and torture you. Why didnt you use caution? Bow out? he growled, ready to tear his hair out. Now its too late. In less than two weeks my desire for you has grown far beyond rational. If we mated, theres no question I would become like my brother.
Im clever, and youll protect me. Bram and the others will, too.
No. Im no longer involved.
You should be. Dont you see? Strength in numbers. If you stayed with the others, wed be safer and making a difference. If we mated, wed have each other. I dont need more. She paused, bit her lip. I should tell you something
I feel the same and more, but if I mated with you, I could probably count our time together in days on the fist of one hand. This is war. Mathias is like . . . magickinds ultimate sociopath. Determined, smart, charismatic, powerful and willing to kill. And he wont die by a simple bullet, as you saw in his warehouse.
Weve weakened his army, she argued. Taking the fight to him was the right thing to do, and using the book as bait was perfect. Maybe peace will come shortly, and we will have wasted precious time together.
Caden raked a frustrated hand through his hair. They were talking in circles, and still she wouldnt understand. Peace? Last time Mathias was vanquished, it took decades and an army of experienced wizards. Many died. Too many were sacrificed.
The same is true in human wars. And like those, we dont have any control over who lives or who dies. We only have control over what we do with our time together. She squeezed his hand. If Lucan and Ankas separation has shown anything, it should be that, while lovers can suffer, love itself endures. Even without remembering Lucan, Anka knew she was missing someone dear.
And Lucan has been reduced to an animal.