As Bram had ceased Cadens involvement with the Doomsday Brethren, he needed to do the same with Sydney. After settling Lucan in at home, hed protect her, but no more.
As he entered the bedroom, Sabelle left, answering his unspoken question as she did. Conrad just left. Sydneys fine.
Indeed, Sydney insisted as she dug into her handbag and extracted the camera. Help me edit this film? I know youre against me transcasting, but you saw how evil Mathias was. We cant let him continue to run amok. I want to transcast within the hour.
His advice was going to fall on deaf ears, but Caden felt compelled to say it. You understand that theres no going back? Youll both incur Mathiass supreme wrath and be trapped in magickind forever.
Trapped? She frowned. I have a chance now to save lives and achieve everything I ever dreamed. Nothing worth doing is without risk.
Pretty speech. I dont think it will comfort you when Mathias tries to kill you. Im not helping you transcast.
She cocked her head and peered at him, clearly puzzling something out. Youre walking away and leaving this mess to Bram and the others and wasting your abilities when you could be helping, too.
Bram tossed me out, and Im leaving something I never wanted to be involved in.
Sydney paused, drew back. Youre leaving me as well.
Caden saw no reason to beat about the bush. Ill protect you. I cant be this close, care this much, and lose you. I . . . cant.
Clenching her fists, Sydney tried to hold back sudden tears. And failed. I dont understand you. First, you ran from your parents and your heritage, spent ten years trying to be American and human, when youre neither. You came back to help your brother, why? Obligation? Because you couldnt avoid it without feeling like a heel? Youre not running from the Doomsday Brethren and me. Youre running from yourselflike you have been your whole life.
Caden accepted the rebuke in silence. Sydney simply didnt understand. Nor could she relate to the tangle of affection and duty he felt for Lucan after losing Westin. And she had no way of comprehending the disastrous results of a failed magical mating. Would it make a difference if she did? No, it was too late now. Some things simply werent meant to be.
Youve oversimplified everything, he said.
Have I? Explain to me exactly how this isnt running from your destiny.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SYDNEY, I DONT EXPECT you to understand.
Which meant he wasnt even going to try to explain. Grief felt like a blow to the chest.
Make me understand. Why?
He raked a frustrated hand through mussed brown hair.
Magic isnt always . . . good.
Mathias proves that.
I mean that using magic, even the sort you think is good, can change your life in terrible ways.
His words renewed her dread. Shed fantasized about him in the Doomsday Diary to lure him to her side. Had that changed their lives in terrible ways? The possibility sounded ugly. How much, if any, of their affection and passion was due strictly to the books magic?
Youre always so bloody vague, raising more questions than you answer.
Sighing, pacing, he grasped for words. Magic is all new and interesting to you now, but its ripped apart my life more than once.
Change happens in everyones lives, whether youre magical or not. Tell me whats so terrible
No point except to dredge up bad memories and burden you with tragedies you cant change. I just need to go.
You belong here, fighting beside these warriors. I think you belong beside me, as well. She pressed her lips together to hold in tears. Ive fallen in love with you. You used magic today to save me, though you hate it. You must care about me a bit. Perhaps, in time, it could be real
It is real. His blue eyes burned with truth.
But a niggle of doubt remained.
Cadens slumped shoulders and the exhausted lines bracketing his eyes and mouth made him look like defeat on two legs. I wish the answer was as simple as love, firecracker. But taking the next step with you means accepting magic I dont trust. Its too uncontrollable.
Though she knew better, Sydney couldnt stop fighting for them. So is life!
Ive died a hundred times with the desire to kiss you, but if I do, we would be mated for life. You would adopt my lifespan, so that means hundreds of years, literally. He wrapped warm hands around her shoulders, and Sydney wished hed welcome her farther into his embrace. But if you keep to this path, youre going to dieand take me down with you. I cant stand by and watch. It will drive me mad.
His every word was a pick ax to the heart, and she struggled to comprehend his reasons for walking away from greatness and love for the mundane and lonely. So youd prefer to end it, just to be safe?
Caden hesitated. Youve chosen to remain, and Im going to protect you. But mating in the middle of a war with both of us on the front lines, there would be consequences you cant begin to comprehend.
Explain them.
He sighed. Even if I did, it would change nothing. We want different lives. I wont lie and say I dont love you or that I dont wish things could be different. But Id be doing us both a disservice if I spoke the Call. Caden looked at her then with bleak, hollow eyes. The expression magnified as he touched her cheek and leaned in to hold her close and kiss her forehead. Ill remain your bodyguard, nothing more.
Sydney pulled away from his embrace. A deep, heavy ache spread across her chest, shattering her heart into a million pieces. Ill do my damnedest to make you regret your choice.
She grabbed the video camera, hurt pounding inside her. But she hesitated. That tousled hair that curled at the ends, those electric eyes, the ripped body . . . yes, at first hed been a walking fantasy, and shed lusted after him. But soon, shed discovered the man beneath, the one who put his brother first, who believed in her, who made love passionately, who fought to protect her even when he wanted to run away.
But it appeared that magic was a hurdle they couldnt overcome. Sydney wasnt going to walk away from magickind. This had become more than a story to her. Bram and the others were a handful against a powerful evil. If she could help them, she would. Shed proudly do this job until she could return to the human world to tell the best story ever about magickind.
Pity shed take the spotlight alone.
No doubt youll achieve all your ambitions. Ill miss you.
Tears burning her eyes, she watched Caden leave.
. . . sobering video from a fight that took place earlier today. Mathias DArc is definitely back and, as you saw, is abducting soldiers from around the world and converting them to zombies to make his army. He and his followers have attacked at least four Privileged families, killing many and abducting the women. Take precautions. Keep close watch on all family members. Never stray far from your wand. Have some means of communication nearby. If youre being attacked, contact Bram Rion. Updates will follow as necessary. Im Sydney Blair. Stay safe. Good afternoon.