“Nash.” He looked over at me and I could see the fine lines of worry bracketing his mouth. “Do you, uh, want me to go to the hospital with you?”
They were all a family, all loved each other, leaned on one another. I was an outsider. True, the hospital was my home away from home, I was way more in my element there than I was in this car trying to offer this brooding man comfort. But it was the right thing for me to do. I could see it when his eyes shifted back to periwinkle, and his arm where I was touching him softened a fraction.
“Yeah. I really do.”
“All right. Let’s go, then.”
The wheels under the powerful car squealed, and I got tossed to the side as he wheeled it around in the middle of the street and headed across town toward the hospital. This was a surefire way to have me sobering up way more quickly than I would have if I just went home to sleep it off.
He parked and I had to practically run to keep up with him as he headed for the front doors. It was a good thing I was tall or else I got the feeling he would have just dragged me along behind him. His hand was hard on mine and I could feel nervous moisture coating his palm. He was headed for emergency, so I had to dig my heels in and yank him to a grinding halt.
“Labor and delivery is this way. They probably moved her over there already.”
He grunted and begrudgingly let me take the lead. I didn’t miss the questioning looks I got from the night staff as I skated by holding his hand. He was the kind of guy that attracted attention anyway, and given the fact they were still all gossiping about my disastrous date with Dr. Bennet, this didn’t bode well for me not being the topic of conversation anymore.
The crew was all gathered in the waiting room, minus Rule. Nash nodded at the guys, who were pacing back and forth, but went to the girls for the info.
“What’s happening?”
Shaw was twisting her hair around her finger and her green eyes were huge in her face.
“She’s early, but not too bad. Thirty-six weeks. Rome was freaking everyone out. I think he’s having a little episode, so his mom came and got Rule to keep him in line. The doctor was scared of him.”
Nash snorted and I had no problem imagining the scene between Rome and the doctor, considering I knew exactly how intimidating the big ex-soldier could be.
“Anyone call Joe?” He looked at me and clarified: “Cora’s dad.”
Shaw nodded. “Rome did on the way in. You might want to call Phil.”
Nash went tense next to me and his eyes went back to dark. I knew his dad was like a fill-in parent to all these guys. The tattoo shop he had created had become their home. The idea of a new life coming into the world while he was on his way out had to gall and burn. I squeezed Nash’s hand and he looked down at me.
“I’m gonna go talk to the staff and see if I can get any insider info. Okay?”
He gulped a little and his mouth turned down.
“I’m gonna make a call.”
He looked so sad, so torn, it pulled at my heart way harder than watching some girl throw herself at him had. I reached up a hand and put it on his cheek. There was a tic there that had more than my nurse’s instincts firing up, wanting to take care of him. That wasn’t good. I wanted to be insulated, wanted to have enough space that there was no chance that this man could hurt me again, and I felt that safeguard slipping further and further away.
I went and inquired about the patient and the baby. I used my employee status to get more info than they would give the motley crew gathered in the waiting room. By the time I met back up with Nash, everyone looked solemn and stressed out. Babies took a long time to come into the world and it was going to be a long night for all of them.
“She’s doing great. She still has a ways to go before she is really in the thick of labor. The baby’s vitals are strong, so I think everything is going to be just fine. I would say just settle in and wait. The baby clearly has her own agenda and doesn’t know there are rules she should be following.”
“Sounds like her uncle; she’s already showing her Archer roots.”
Shaw’s dry comment broke the rest of the tension, and grateful eyes as well as relieved smiles met my little debriefing. I gasped a little when Nash wrapped me up in his arms and pulled me against his chest so that he could hold me while he propped himself up against the wall.
He put his lips to my temple, and I felt his chest expand and retract. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so over being at the hospital, but at least you make it bearable.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just wrapped my arms around his lean waist and let him hold on to me. I needed to figure out fast how deep in I was willing to go with him. The reality that he wanted me here, not because I knew how to navigate the ins and outs of the hospital, but because he wanted me, was something I felt I needed to really get my head around.
I didn’t want to get hurt, but I had never considered that by handling this wrong, I could very well end up hurting him. I didn’t like that idea at all.
CHAPTER 13
Nash
“Cora brought the baby by. I can’t believe how tiny she is.”
I nodded and handed Phil a glass of water. He looked awful. It pained me to see him like this, wasting away, the bedroom in his condo was basically converted into a hospital room. The more time went on, the skinnier he got, the worse his pallor looked, and I could hear how gasping and sucking each breath he took in and out sounded. I bent my head down and stared at the carpet between the toes of my Vans. I didn’t want him to see how hard these visits were getting for me.
“She looks like a little doll when Rome holds her. She almost fits in the palm of one of his big bear paws. She’s too tiny to know it yet but she has all the men in her life wrapped around her finger.” I joked about it but it was true.
Remy Josephine Archer was a fuzzy, blond-haired, perfect miniature replica of her mom. Her eyes were still infant dark, but at the center there was no mistaking the crisp, clear Archer blue. She was going to have Rule’s eyes, Remy’s eyes. She was going to do her namesake proud, and Cora’s dad was already so in love with his granddaughter, he was talking about moving from Brooklyn to Denver. Little R.J. was the first baby for any of our patchworked family and there was no doubt she was going to be horrendously overprotected and ridiculously loved. She deserved nothing less.
“How are you guys doing at the shop without Cora?”
Phil started coughing, and I looked up at him under my brows. He sounded so awful, it made my heart squeeze so hard it stalled for a beat.
“It could be better. I can’t take as many clients, there was so much she handled. The first half of my day is messing with new clients, doing shit on the Internet, and paying bills. It sucks. The construction at the new shop started, so when I’m not trying to handle business at the Marked, I’m down there. Rule and Rowdy found a couple good artists we’re going to bring in to pick up the slack and see if they’ll work out at the new place, but for someone to run the desk and sit up front.” I just shook my head.
He coughed again and it made his entire thin frame shake and quake. “You aren’t going to find another Cora. She’s one of a kind, and once she’s ready, she’ll be back. I want you to call this girl I met the last time I was in Vegas. I was doing a convention there and she was one of the pinup models there for the guys to take pictures with.”
I snorted out a laugh. “I need a business major not a model.”
“You need someone who can handle all the bad attitude you guys throw around and that fits in with the rest of the shop. Someone with heart and a certain badassness. She was smart, she was beautiful. I took her info for a reason. Call her and see if she would be interested in coming out for an interview.”
I just wanted to make him happy, so I agreed. “If you say so.”
“I do. I might be sick, but I still know what makes that shop run. Plus I think she might be more inclined to come help you guys out and make the shop a success than anyone else you’re going to just happen upon.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because the past ties us all together, Nash. None of us would be where we are now without the things that happened to us back then. Her name is Salem Cruz. Tell her I gave you her info and maybe mention she should look up the shop’s website so she can check out the artists’ page.”
He was being cryptic and evasive, but that was pretty typical Phil-speak, so I didn’t question it. Besides, he changed the subject.
“How’s your pretty nurse?”
That was a good question. I didn’t have the first clue how she was. Ever since she spent the night at the hospital with me while we all waited on Cora and the baby, she had been slightly evasive. We were still spending time together, still spent the night together as often as either of us could swing it with our busy schedules, but there was something there now, some kind of distance, some kind of shield she had up, and even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself because I was in deep now, it felt like she was drifting away from me.
I wanted to ask her, wanted to make her admit we were into each other, that this thing between us was serious, and after almost three months she had to see that I was committed to being with her and no one else. But instead of being closer, she seemed to want more space between us. She hadn’t even let me do anything for her on Valentine’s Day. It was a difficult situation, and while I had no problem pushing her into bed, making her see and feel how perfect I thought she was, out of bed I was seriously worried that if I tried to make her put a label on, tried to force her to admit she cared about me beyond what I could make her feel in the dark, she would leave.
I got that she wanted to be careful, that she wasn’t fully convinced she could trust me … trust any guy, really. I couldn’t blame her. She had told me about her dad and his girlfriend and about some guy she had been involved with while she was in college, and how both cases of infidelity had left lasting marks on her already distrustful soul. I wanted to shake some sense into her. I had worked so hard to get close to her, there was no way I was going to screw it up by sticking my dick in the first willing female that came along, but I just couldn’t seem to get her to believe that.
She sort of glossed over the situation with the guy in college, but when she talked about her father, about the way her family had been so close, about the way her mom had gone off the deep end in the wake of his betrayal, I could hear in her voice how hard that had been for her. His unfaithfulness had cut not just her mother but all of the women in the Ford household deeply enough to leave lasting scars. She talked a good game about tolerating him and the choices he made, about turning the other cheek to keep the peace and to keep him in her life, but the resentment was there underneath every word she spoke. I couldn’t say that I faulted her for that, because even from the outside looking in, I could see her dad had done a shitty thing and left the family in the lurch. I just didn’t know how Saint was ever going to get to a place where she could let it all go, put her faith in the fact that I wasn’t like that … if she didn’t come to terms with the fact that people could be fallible, even people we had looked up to for our entire lives. The resentment she held on to was justified, but if she couldn’t figure out what to do with it, I didn’t know what that meant for us going forward.
Her father had disappointed her, solidified that foundation of mistrust I had broken ground on years ago, and I wasn’t sure how to make her see that I would do anything within my power to keep from letting her down like that again. I was not her dad, nor would I ever want to be the kind of man that threw his loving family over for a quick piece.
“She’s difficult.”
He laughed, an actual laugh, and it made me smile down at the floor. I felt him reach out and he put one of his thin hands on the crown of my bent head. I closed my eyes and felt my breath shudder in my chest.