He slips a finger inside me, then two, and before I can think, he’s thrusting and sucking, thrusting and sucking. When I come, it’s out of this world. I shake, twist, cry out and jerk until every last jolt of pleasure has been wrung from my body. Cade crawls up over me, reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out a condom. He sits back and I watch as he slides it down his hard length. When he’s fully sheathed, he positions himself over me and wraps my legs around his hips before pressing against my entrance. I groan as he stretches and fills me with each gentle push inside.
“Fuck, Cade!”
“Sugar,” he groans, “you’re fuckin’ killin’ me.”
He slips deep inside, and the feeling of him filling me is so intense, I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. Cade thrusts his hips, slides out and fills me again. His elbows rest beside my head, so I turn my head to the left and lick his biceps. He groans and tangles a hand in my hair, tugging gently. I whimper as I begin to swell around him; he’s tweaking the perfect spots inside me.
“Need you deeper,” he growls gripping my hips and rolling us.
We roll too far, and end up off the bed and thumping down onto the floor. I squeal, he laughs. The idea of moving only crosses my mind for a split second, but instead, I crush my lips against Cade’s and then we’re fucking like wild animals. The carpet rug is burning my back as I use the bed to press my feet against, so my legs are high and raised. Cade drives me hard, his fingers are tangled in my hair; our bodies are sweaty and we both heave and pant, our groans join together to make a primal, feral sound.
“Fuck, goin’ to come,” Cade rasps. “Come with me.”
I am gripping his back so hard I can feel warmth on my fingers. He grunts loudly as I drag my nails down his skin. I’m so close, God, I’m so close. Cade reaches between us and tweaks my clit, and that sends me over the edge. With a scream, I come. Cade is close behind me, and his primal bellow completely increases my release. We shudder together. My back burns; my body is on fire and I love it. I love every second of it. When his orgasm dies down, he drops his head into my shoulder, kissing it gently. He rolls us both to our sides, until we’re facing each other.
“Fuck, you got some nails, girl,” he murmurs. “My back hurts.”
“Mine too,” I groan, shifting.
“What’s wrong with yours?” he says, moving a piece of hair from my eyes.
“Carpet burn.”
He stares blankly at me, then bursts out laughing. I shove at his chest, but he grips my wrists and pulls me close.
“Sorry, baby, that was so unexpected.”
“I can’t believe we rolled off the bed.”
He grins, kissing me softly. “Wild cat.”
“Rebel.”
He sits us up, and then his hands are on me, gently, spinning me around. He runs his fingertips over my battered back. He leans in, kissing it softly, completely shocking me. To the rest of the world, Cade is terrifying, but here…in this moment…he’s completely beautiful.
“Let me get somethin’ to put on that.”
He stands, takes my hands and helps me up. My body aches in the most pleasant way; it’s a thrilling feeling. It’s a feeling I’ve never had before.
And it scares the hell out of me.
CHAPTER 11
PAST
“I tried to call you,” I say, when Billy finally comes around after four days of me desperately trying to contact him.
“I was busy,” he says, but his voice sounds off.
He’s sounded off for weeks. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to be here, but he’s too afraid to tell me so. He’s trying to save me, and I’m starting to feel more and more like a project than I am a girlfriend. He runs his fingers through his messy blonde hair and sighs. “Listen, Addison, we need to-”
“Don’t bother,” I snap, crossing my arms. “I know what you’re going to say.”
He does look like it pains him to have to say what comes next, and that only makes my heart hurt more. I don’t doubt Billy cares about me, but I think it’s gone far beyond that. Sometimes caring just isn’t enough, and sometimes one’s lifestyle is unfixable. Perhaps that’s how he feels about my lifestyle, that I’ll never leave it, never get away. I swallow and square my shoulders. I’ve dealt with far worse than heart break. I don’t expect Billy to save me. How can I ever expect someone to change their world for me? That’s such a high expectation to have of another person, especially when what they’re fighting for, is completely fucked up to begin with.
“You know I love you, Addison,” he says gently.
I hate that line. You know I love you, but I’m going to leave you anyway. I thought love conquered all? Seems to me, if things get too hard, people run regardless of love. Whatever happened to through thick and thin? I don’t let Billy see the hurt that’s ripping through my chest right now. I won’t be the girl that begs. I’ve never been that girl and I won’t start now.
“You’re leaving,” I respond in a simple, emotionless tone.
Billy flinches, and I see his fingers twitching like he wants to reach out for me. He makes a loud, sighing sound and begins pacing the room.
“It’s work.”
What a fucking lie.
“No, it’s not.”
He stops pacing and turns to face me. He shoves his hands into his jean pockets.
“Addison, it’s just…look…I want a certain lifestyle and you’re not willing to walk away from this to be with me. I can’t keep trying to save a girl, who doesn’t want to be saved.”