Skyler pressed her lips together. She’d thought about little else since she and Josef had come up with the plan. “Dimitri is a good man. He could have claimed me, taken me away from my home and the only stability I’d ever known. I wouldn’t have been able to resist him, the pull of lifemates is just too strong. But he didn’t, Josef, no matter the terrible cost to him. He didn’t insist on claiming me or binding us together. He wasn’t afraid of Gabriel. He was never afraid of Gabriel.”
Josef waved his hand at the coffin and the lid creaked closed. “I know,” he admitted softly.
“He knew I wasn’t ready, that I needed time to find myself and overcome . . . everything in my past.” Skyler ducked her head, so that her wealth of silky hair covered her expression.
“Don’t, Sky,” Josef said. “We’re best friends. What happened to you wasn’t your fault, and you should never feel ashamed.”
“I’m not ashamed, well, not like you think. I believe Dimitri is a great man and he deserves a lifemate who can match him in everything. I’m not that woman yet. I want to be with him, I feel that need nearly as strongly as he does. It grows in me every single day.”
“Do you think he would hold your past against you?” Josef asked.
Skyler shook her head. “No, he often is close enough to talk to me at night when I can’t sleep. We talk a lot at night. I love his voice. He’s very gentle with me, never demanding. I know it’s difficult for him. I can feel his struggle, although he hid it from me at first. You can’t be in someone else’s head without eventually seeing everything. Darkness threatened to swallow him all the time, yet he never said anything to me, he never tried to hurry me. He certainly didn’t condemn me because I was too young—and afraid. Dimitri doesn’t judge me.”
“No one does, hon,” Josef pointed out. “You’re the one so hard on yourself. I especially loved the stage when you dyed your hair constantly. It took a little while to find yourself and be comfortable with who you really are.”
Skyler’s eyebrow shot up. She stared pointedly at Josef’s black, spiked hair tipped with blue.
His grin was contagious, revealing twin dents near his mouth. “This is who I am. I found that out a long time ago. I like my hair with blue tips.”
“Because no one will ever guess just how smart you are. They’re too busy looking at your hair and the piercings you occasionally put in just to bug them all,” she accused, laughing softly. “I love you, Josef, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yep. That’s why I’m here, Sky. I don’t have all that many people who care about me. If you say you need me, I’ll come.” He looked away from her.
Skyler put her hand on his arm. “There are many people who care about you, Josef, you just don’t let them get close. If you gave Dimitri a chance, he would be a good friend to you. I know he would. I’ve talked to him many times about you.”
“I thought you hadn’t seen him since you’d been to the Carpathian Mountains.”
“He thought it best if we stayed away from one another. I knew it would be too difficult for him with me being physically close to him, but he came to London on and off when he needed to hear my voice.”
“Did Gabriel know?” Josef asked.
“Probably. He didn’t ask me, but I noticed when Dimitri was close, Gabriel stayed closer and when he wasn’t with me, Francesca was close by. There were times when Uncle Lucian and Auntie Jaxon hung around. They’re busy, so I knew it was because they were afraid Dimitri would come and claim me.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Of course not. He’s a man of honor. I’m not old enough in the Carpathian culture, which is funny, because in the human culture I could marry easily. No one would think twice about it.”
“Did you want him to claim you?” Josef asked curiously.
Skyler shrugged. “Sometimes. I dream about him. I don’t ever think about other men, or even look at them. It’s always Dimitri. He calls to me and isn’t even aware of it. When we’re talking, mind to mind, I see things. How alone he is. How dark his world is. How hard it is to struggle against the constant pull of the darkness. He endures so much for me. So much for all of us. When he hunts, it has become harder for him. Every time he has to kill. I see all that, and the terrible sacrifices he makes for me.”
“He wouldn’t want you to see those things, Sky,” Josef said gently. “You know that, don’t you? Carpathian males, especially the hunters, they’re like stone, total warriors, and if he thought he wasn’t protecting you from that creeping shadow, he’d be very upset.”
Skyler smiled at Josef. “I can’t help what I see, Josef. I’m not exactly like everyone else. What kind of a concoction am I? Psychic. Mage. Partly Carpathian. Daughter of the earth. Dragonseeker. I see things I’m not meant to see. I feel things I shouldn’t. I know he was nearly taken from me. I felt him. I called to him. Sang the healing chants I’ve heard Francesca sing. I lit candles, and I cried for days when he was so far away I couldn’t reach him.”
She looked into his eyes, letting him see her grief. Josef was definitely underestimated by most people, but she saw his genius, and she valued their close friendship. She could talk to him, tell him anything, and he never betrayed her confidence.
“I need him,” she admitted simply. “And I have to find him.”
Josef slung his arm around her shoulders. “Well, little sister, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Paul should be here any minute. He texted me and said he had everything ready.”
“Did he cover his tracks? Didn’t he tell you once that Nicolas took his blood? If he did, he can track Paul.”
“Baby, any of them can track us, and they’ll be hot on our trail the moment they realize you’re missing.”
“I know that. I’m just saying it can’t happen until we’re ready.” Skyler glanced again at her watch. “He’s late.”
“His cover is perfect,” Josef assured. “He flew over with the De La Cruz families, and he told them we were going to go exploring the mountains on the Ukraine side. We’re camping for a couple of weeks. Of course they were happy to get rid of us, and no one is going to question that we’d want to do something together. We talked about it endlessly for the last couple of years. This would be the perfect opportunity for us to get together so they bought our story easily.”