Cameron’s hand comes up, as if to touch me, but he thinks better of it. It feels too awkward with him, too unnatural after everything that has transpired between us. His shoulders sag and he rubs his nape. “Okay.”
Our eyes stay locked for a second, and it’s long enough for me to catch the silent hope that sparks in the depths of his irises. He backs away so that I can get into my car. Hannah is in the passenger seat and by now I know it means wherever I’m going, she’s going too. I look out my window one last time, and see that Cameron has already disappeared. I start the car and pull out of the parking lot, heading home, even though Ari and I haven’t eaten yet. But all I’m thinking about is what’s going through Cameron’s mind after finding out about my history, and if it would stop him from giving us another try. Do I want us to try again?
** ** ** ** **
I stir from my restless sleep and hear Ari’s giggles travel up the stairs. “Should we wake your mommy up?” I hear Hannah ask. She opens my door, and peeks inside.
“Wake up, mommy!” Ari chimes. Hannah tosses her onto the bed and she laughs as she crawls over to me. I sit up and Ari falls into my lap.
“Has aunty Hannah been giving you sugar all morning?” I tease, tickling Ari’s ribs gently. She wiggles around and flops onto her side. Hannah takes a seat on the edge of my bed. “I made waffles for breakfast,” she says, watching Ari and me with an amused expression.
“Ah,” I laugh. “That explains it.”
Hannah clears her throat. “Are you okay? After last night?”
“I think so,” I reply honestly. “It’s strange, because I feel relieved now that Cameron knows.”
“What are you going to do now that Kyle knows?”
I sigh. “Nothing. I don’t want anything from him, and I don’t expect him to ‘claim’ Ari. If he wants to be part of her life, I have no right to stop him.”
Hannah rests her chin in her palm. “Last night was a catastrophe.”
“What were you guys doing there anyway?” I ask curiously.
“We planned a party for Cameron’s birthday in a weeks time, but he cancelled it and decided he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday this year. Somehow Noah convinced him to at least do something and he agreed to having dinner at the diner.”
I hesitate before asking, “And Rachel really wasn’t invited?”
Hannah shakes her head. “Hell no! And neither was Psycho Barbie. They invited themselves and I don’t think Cameron cared enough to say no. Rachel has been bugging Cam a lot, though. She hasn’t stopped calling him. I know it’s been driving him nuts.”
“Wait, what? Rachel has been calling Cam?”
“Yes! Like non-stop, on-the-verge-of-stalking. Why?”
“Rachel told me he called her, after his dad died.”
Hannah’s manicured brows furrow. “That lying bitch! I knew she was up to something!”
I contemplate telling Hannah about Rachel’s threat. It’s not like she can follow through with it anymore. “She threatened me,” I blurt out. “When we were at the memorial service. She cornered me in the bathroom afterwards and threatened to tell Cameron about the video if I didn’t leave him alone.”
“What?” Hannah half yells, her eyes bulging out of their sockets. Her face reddens. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug, feeling foolish. “Because I was hurting, okay? I thought if I kept quiet I would be able to forget it ever happened and move on from Cameron.”
“You know,” Hannah sighs. “For a smart girl, you’re really quite stupid, Hayley.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, disgruntled.
“We both know moving on from Cameron isn’t a possibility. You’re in love with him.”
My mouth opens, a denial formed on the edge of my tongue. Only, I can’t deny it. “He doesn’t feel the same way,” I say quietly. “So it doesn’t matter, anyway.”
“That’s complete rubbish and we both know it. That boy is not only smitten with you, but with your daughter too.”
“Then why did he tell me to leave the day his dad died? And why has he ignored all my texts and calls?” I mentally kick myself in the stomach for sounding so pathetic. I’m whining, like the clingy girls I used to make fun of.
Hannah’s face softens and she rests her hand on my knee. “He needed time, Hayley. He was so full of anger and guilt over the death of his dad and he pushed you away top protect you.”
“Protect me?”
“Yes.”
“Then why was he with Rachel?”
“She only wanted you to think he was with her, because she’s a jealous psycho stalker bi…” her words trail off when she remembers that Ari is still here and is at the stage where she repeats everything she hears. “I know for a fact that he wasn’t with her, because Noah stayed with him after his dad died, and aside from drinking himself stupid at home, he didn’t go anywhere or see anyone.”
I cover my face with a groan. What a mess. I feel stupid for believing Rachel, but even more so for not listening to Cameron when he wanted to talk to me weeks ago.
I’m about to tell Hannah as much when we hear a knock at the door. I listen as my grandmother opens the door.
“You have some nerve showing up here,” she says to whoever is at the door. At first I think it’s Cameron, but I know Gama will never speak to him that way. She likes him too much. Frowning, I slip my robe over my shoulders and head for the stairs, curios to know who my grandmother is snapping at. Hannah picks Ari up and follows behind me. When I see Kyle standing in the entryway, my step falters and I almost trip my way down the rest of the stairs.
“Please,” he begs, “I just need to talk to her, Mrs. Tanner.” He looks ruffled, like he hasn’t slept.
“Kyle?” His head whips up at the sound of my voice. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk,” he says, taking a tentative step forward, cautious of my grandmother. She might look old, and sweet, but she won’t hesitate to pull out a shotgun and send Kyle running for the hills if she thinks it’s necessary.
“It’s ok, Gama, I’ve got this.” I smile weakly at her and I can see she doesn’t believe me.
Hannah walks past me, and whispers into my ear. “We’ll be in the kitchen, but yell if you need anything.” She follows my grandmother into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Kyle.
The silence is awkward, and Kyle shuffles from foot-to-foot. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks forcefully, unable to keep his cool. “That you fell pregnant after we…”
I think about making this easier for him, considering I did drop a bomb on him last night, but choose not to. He doesn’t deserve it.
“Because I didn’t want you to treat her the same way you treated me, Kyle. You would’ve denied that she was yours, the same way you denied that it was you in that video and let me take the fall.”
“But I deserved to know!” he snaps. “Don’t you think I had the right to know I fathered a child?”
“No,” I reply harshly. “You didn’t. You lost that right the minute you’re turned against me, knowing how humiliated and ashamed I was after that video came out. You turned your back on me when I asked you for help, and I will be damned if I’d let you do that to my child too.”