I rise slowly from the bench and he rises with me. Leading him to the bed, I stop next to it and stand there for a moment.
‘I don’t want to think about anything.’ I reach for his face and trail the backs of my fingers over his jaw. ‘I just want to feel you.’
Grabbing the hem of his shirt, I slowly pull it over his head, then I reach for the bottom of my shirt. He places his hand over mine to stop me and I realize it’s because he wants to do it. I let go of the fabric and raise my arms in the air so he can remove my shirt. He gazes as my breasts for a moment and I find myself anticipating the moment he will put his mouth on them. He must also be anticipating this as he grabs my hips and gently turns me around so he can undo the clasp on my bra.
I let the bra fall to the floor next to the shirts and his hands are on my waist, this time pulling me backwards until his chest is flush with my back. He drapes my hair over my shoulder and lays a soft trail of kisses from my shoulder to my neck and up to my earlobe. The moment he takes my earlobe into his mouth, and I can feel his breath in my ear, a powerful surge of pleasure rushes through me, pulsing between my legs. He lightly drags his teeth over my earlobe, then he tortures me a little more, tracing his tongue inside the rim of my ear before he turns me around again.
‘I want you.’ There’s a definite note of desperation in my words, but I don’t care.
His gaze roams over every inch of my torso until it lands back on my face. ‘I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you right now.’
I reach for the waistband of his jeans and he presses his lips together as I undo the button and pull his zipper down. He’s wearing black boxer briefs today. Something about this makes me smile. I slowly push his jeans down and he helps me out a little, kicking them aside once they’re at his feet. I reach for his boxers, but he stops me as he reaches for my jeans. Once we’ve both removed our pants and underwear, I know this is it.
‘I should get some protection before we go any further.’
‘Will it hurt more with or without it?’
He tilts his head, appearing almost apologetic. ‘It will probably hurt more with.’
‘Without. I want to do it without.’
He nods and plants a kiss on my forehead. ‘I’ll never hurt you.’
I tilt my head to the side to kiss his scratchy jaw and once again he pulls my body against his. I lick his skin to taste him and I’m surprised it tastes a bit like snow and salt.
‘You taste like a storm.’
I clasp my hand on the back of his neck and pull him down a little so I can taste his earlobe, the way he did mine. As soon as my tongue touches his ear, his erection springs up, pressing against my thigh. His grip on my waist slackens and I wrap my arms around his neck so he doesn’t pull away like he did in the shower yesterday.
‘I’m not pulling away,’ he murmurs in my ear.
I loosen my hold on him and tilt my head back to look in his eyes. Then he cradles my face in his hands and kisses me. This is a movie kiss. The angle of his head; the firm grip on my face; the slow, but assertive, stroke of his tongue; the way he sucks on my top lip every so often. Yes, I could definitely do this every day for the rest of my life.
Without noticing, his erection has found its way between my legs. I can feel my moisture on him and it feels good. The accidental movements caused by our kissing result in a warm friction between my legs that builds with each second.
I run my hand down his washboard abs until my fingers find the place where his hair melts until sheer solidity. He pulls his head back to look at me, and there’s a sly look in his eyes that makes me feel as if I did something very wrong or very right. Then he scoops me up in his arms.
I yelp as my feet leave the ground and he chuckles as he slowly sets me down on the bed. ‘You could have asked me to lie down.’
‘Not quite as fun that way.’ He lies next to me on the bed, propping himself up on one elbow so he can look at me as he traces his finger lightly down the center of my chest all the way to my navel. ‘Do you want me to keep the lights on?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good.’
He kisses me again, but this time his hand slowly moves from my waist up to my breast. I whimper as he gently rolls my nipple between his fingers.
‘Does that feel good?’ He looks me in the eye as he asks this question and something about this drives me crazy.
‘Yes.’
He kisses his way down my neck and chest and I hold my breath, waiting for the moment his mouth is on me. I moan as he gently sucks and licks my flesh until I feel as if I might orgasm just from this simple, yet sensual, act.
He looks up at me as he moves down to my belly and I nod to let him know it’s okay. He lifts my knee a little as he carefully positions himself between my legs. The soft kiss he plants on the inside of my thigh leaves a lingering burn, which tingles as he kisses his way up my thigh until his mouth is on me.
I draw in a deep breath and hold it, afraid of the sounds I’ll make if I let myself breathe. His lips close around my sensitive flesh as his tongue stimulates my center. He alternates between light strokes and an out-of-this-world swirling pattern. My entire body is warm with pleasure, as if I’ve been dipped in a warm oil bath. But the sensation soon becomes irrelevant as all my muscles, especially those in my legs, begin spasming. He hooks his arms around my thighs to steady me as he gently sucks on my flesh as if I were a ripe fruit.
I cry out loudly, unable to contain myself. He keeps his mouth on me, comforting me, as the orgasm continues to roll through me. When my body finally stops twitching, he pulls his head back and looks up at me.
‘A billion times better than pizza.’ His smile is to die for, but I shake my head at his comment.
‘Not a quadrillion?’ I reply as his chest slides over mine and he settles himself between my legs.
‘I have to leave us something to strive for.’
He places his hands on the pillow on either side of my head and leans down to kiss me. I can taste myself all over his mouth and I don’t mind. I’m part of him now. And soon he’ll be a part of me.
‘Are you ready?’ His eyes are locked on mine.
I nod as I open my legs a little wider. ‘I’m ready.’
‘Just keep your eyes open and locked on me so I know whether I’m hurting you.’
He lowers himself down onto his elbows so our noses are almost touching, then his hand reaches down between us to guide himself in. He only makes it in an inch or so before he meets heavy resistance.
‘Are you okay?’ I nod and he nods back. ‘I’m going to go very slow, okay?’
I nod again, unable to speak. He kisses my forehead and I reach up to hold his face as he looks into my eyes. He moves slowly in and out of me, just a sliver of an inch farther with each stroke.
‘I love you.’
He smiles and kisses my nose. ‘I love you.’
‘Kiss me.’ He looks hesitant about not being able to see my face, to know if he’s hurting me, but that’s exactly what I want. ‘Please.’
He leans in to kiss me and it doesn’t take long for the whole world to fall away. I coil my arms tightly around his neck as I wrap my legs around his hips, coaxing him farther into me. I gasp into his mouth, but I hold onto him firmly so he can’t pull away.
‘Don’t stop.’ I whisper this plea into his mouth, then I kiss him hard.
The pain is bearable.
‘Just breathe in,’ he whispers, sliding a few inches into me, ‘and breathe out.’ He slides out and my muscles relax. I grip his arms, amazed at how solid they feel. ‘Keep your eyes on mine. Don’t look anywhere else. Just look at me.’
I take a deeper breath as he slides in a bit further and I groan.
He freezes. ‘Are you okay?’
I nod and he leans forward to lay a soft kiss on my eyebrow. ‘Please tell me if I hurt you.’
‘I will.’
He brushes his lips across my brow and down my temple, then he kisses my cheekbone. Tilting his head back, he looks me in the eye again as he eases himself a little farther inside and I dig my nails into his shoulders.
‘Is that okay?’
‘Yes.’ I slide my hands over his shoulders and up his neck until I have his face in my grasp. ‘You could never hurt me.’
He groans, fighting to keep his eyes open as he gets closer to orgasm. His arms begin to tremble and I can see it’s taking quite a bit of effort for him to continue to move so slowly. But he never breaks eye contact as his hips thrust into me, stretching me ever so gently. I find myself already thinking of the next time we get to have sex. This is the way it’s supposed to feel; the closeness and the primal connection of skin on skin; pleasure for pleasure.
His grunts softly as he lets go inside of me and I smile, through my panting.
The pain is bearable.
Chapter 42: CRUSH – January 8th
My first indication that something is very wrong is the smell. I can smell Mikki’s hair, but it’s mixed with something else. Fabric softener. I open my eyes and panic sets in when I see the guitars hanging on the wall on my right. The smell is coming from my freshly laundered sheets.
‘Fuck,’ I whisper this, but it’s enough to wake Mikki.
‘What’s going on?’ She lifts her head off my chest and squints at her surroundings. ‘Oh my God! What time is it?’
‘We have to get up now or we’re going to miss the flight.’ I glance at the clock on my nightstand. ‘It’s seven twenty-six. We have an hour and forty-five minutes to get to the hotel and pack our suitcases and head to the airport. Then we’ll have to hope that we make it through security in time for the nine-fifteen flight.’
‘Then we’d better hurry up. You can’t miss that flight!’ She throws the covers off, but I grab her hand before she can hop out of bed.
‘Hey. How are you feeling?’
She stares at me for a moment and I hope she’s not trying to think of a lie. ‘A little sore.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologize.’ Her eyes begin to tear up and she takes a breath to compose herself. ‘I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to describe what you did for me last night. Please don’t ever think you have to be sorry for that. The pain is just a subtle reminder of how alive you made me feel.’
My chest swells with warmth. ‘God, I fuckin’ love you.’
By the time we’re dressed and we’ve made it down to the curb, my heart is hammering against my chest. Kane has agreed to move my appointment today from three o’clock to five o’clock today. But I won’t make it if I don’t catch this flight. Mikki and I should have brought our luggage to my apartment, but I was certain we’d go back to the hotel room. I didn’t think we were going to get completely lost in each other last night.
She’s still trying to pull on her gloves as we wait for the car. I reach over to help her. It’s freezing out here; negative fifty-two, factoring in wind-chill.
‘I hope they don’t cancel the flight again.’ She says this through chattering teeth.
I pull the strings on her hood a bit tighter and plant a soft kiss on her lips. ‘If they cancel our flight, then we’ll charter a plan.’
Her eyes light up at this suggestion. ‘And we won’t have to sit in separate cabin.’
‘When we get on the flight, we can trade seats.’
She shakes her head adamantly. ‘Nope. I’d like to enjoy my final flight in coach, cause I know we’re flying first class from here on out, right?’
‘We’ll buy a plane if that will make you happy.’
‘You know how to fly a plane?’
‘No, but I can learn. And I didn’t mean that kind of plane. I meant a jet. Someone else would fly the plane while we enjoy the flight.’ She rolls her eyes and I kiss her temple as the black town car rounds the corner. ‘Watch your step.’