The intense late-April sun rose high above Florida's magnificent Gold Coast, warming the early morning temperatures to the mid-80's
while the tranquil, blue ocean glistened beneath its golden rays. A few
miles west, Maddy stirred from a restful night's sleep, a side benefit of her
hectic schedule combining sales calls by day with dance instruction at the
Fred Astaire Studio by night. As she rubbed her eyes and focused on the
popcorn ceiling, she panicked for a split-second before realizing it was
Saturday. She had a few precious hours to herself before joining her
fellow ballroom dancers for rehearsal.
Madeline threw back the covers of her recently purchased mica bed
and scurried to the bathroom where a tube of mint tooth paste awaited
her. As she brushed her teeth, she stared into the mirror, trying to make
sense of the past five months. Thanks to Carmella and Frank, her arrival
in the Sunshine State had heralded a whirlwind of activity, characterized
by regular socialization with the adult children of their closest friends,
who'd graciously included her in outings to places like the Parrot Lounge,
Las Olas and The Cove.
She'd even had the pleasure of meeting Rita Conti-another
classmate of her mother's from Germantown-and her married daughter
Debbie, who worked as a hairdresser out of her home. While Maddy was
truly appreciative of everyone's warmth and hospitality, her heart was still
heavy with sorrow, disappointment and even a modicum of guilt. Soon
after she'd taken up temporary residence in Carmella and Frank's home,
Ken had informed her of his not-so-platonic living arrangement with
another Philly-area transplant, Erin Mahoney. In the privacy of her hosts'
guest room, a devastated Maddy had struggled to maintain her composure
while Ken at last came clean regarding this significant development-a
confession he'd erroneously assumed he'd never have to make.
Slammed by this cold, hard dose of reality, Madeline quickly
ascertained she had two choices: she could cry all the way home to
Pennsylvania, or she could view Ken's purpose in her life as a means of
forcing her to make some necessary changes. As beautiful as their
romance had been, perhaps it was simply a prelude to real change and
growth, and possibly something even better. Dissatisfied though she'd
been over the last several years, it was doubtful she'd ever have made such
a bold decision had Ken not entered the picture. Besides, why should he
and his mystery woman get to live in such a gorgeous place and not her?
She deserved a slice of heaven, too. Therefore, she vowed to find a way to
make it work.
But despite the omnipresent palm trees, hibiscus and glorious
beaches, there was plenty to dislike about her new home, from the crazy
drivers to the silicon-enhanced residents. Most upsettingly, Betty's contact
had turned out to be the boss from hell, slashing her previously agreedupon
salary in half on her first day at the office and openly bragging about
his infidelity to his wife with the heiress of a major waste management
company-a woman half his age. Combined with an insanely competitive
personnel market, where it seemed every street corner housed an
employment agency, Ken's gut-wrenching news cut even deeper. And yet,
she refused to give in.
One respite from the insanity was her part-time employment at the
studio, which led to the development of her own social circle in the form
of fellow instructors including Lloyd and Rebecca, a married couple
whose breathtaking performances delighted students and teachers alike.
Another was the fishing pier at Deerfield Beach, an impressive structure
that jutted out a mile into the ocean. Open 24-hours, Maddy would often
go there late in the evening, uplifted by the balmy sea breeze and the
enthusiastic activity of the fishermen. Last but certainly not least, weekly
Mass at St. Ambrose Church provided much-needed comfort and a boon
to her faith, not simply by reinforcing theology but by aping an activity
simultaneously shared by her family 1,200 miles away.
She entered her apartment's tiny kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.
Gazing up at the row of encouraging greeting cards and notes that
adorned the top of her light oak entertainment center, she smiled. Most
were from her supportive mother, while others were derived from an
assortment of well-wishers, including Aunt Maria, Daphne and Lily.
Madeline would invariably take a few moments each day to re-read these
handwritten sentiments which served as a reminder that she was indeed
loved and thought of. And though incredibly busy, she did her best to
mail weekly cards back to family and friends, particularly her parents and
Louis.
All remained blissfully unaware of the Ken situation, due to
Madeline's conscious decision to conceal this aspect of her life. After his
initial phone call announcing his move to Florida, and her subsequent
conversations with her father and Daphne, she'd come to the conclusion
that objectivity couldn't possibly be found among those who cared so
deeply for her. Just as none of them could wrap up a package of career
satisfaction and hand it to her with a nicely tied bow, neither could they
present her with the right relationship advice.
And by keeping Ken's ongoing communication a closely guarded
secret, none had suspected her move had anything to do with the guy at
all. That's where the guilt came in. While logic dictated she was an adult,
free and capable of making her own decisions, emotion tugged at her
heartstrings, berating her for hurting the ones who loved her most.
As the distinctive aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the
air, Maddy changed into flared black shorts and a coordinating cap-sleeve
spandex top, a sensible ensemble for practicing her tango routine which,
much to her chagrin, involved more than a few lifts. While Maddy loved
the idea of a group formation, she preferred to stay on the ground during
her dance performances; unfortunately Lloyd and Rebecca had other
ideas. They wanted the studio's premier production to garner rave reviews
in the local paper, which would in turn, hopefully yield an influx of new
students. To that end, she'd also agreed to sing on stage, a decision that
dovetailed brilliantly with her recently determined goal of facing every one
of her fears head on.
She'd just finished applying her make-up and pulling her long hair
into a ponytail when a knock on the door startled her. It was only 8:30 in the
morning on a Saturday. Who on earth would be stopping by so early? A moment
later that question was answered dramatically when she opened the door
of her Boca Del Mar residence to find Ken standing before her, dressed in
his work attire; his typical smile betrayed a trace of nervousness. Maddy
nearly fainted at the sight of him, though she maintained a façade of
nonchalance.
"Ken! What are you doing here?"
"Hey, I've been wanting to talk to you. I have some news to tell you
but I wanted to do it in person."
"You're engaged," she stated matter-of-factly as she closed the door
behind him and offered him a seat on the couch.
"Yes!" he replied, awestruck. How did she know? And why was she so
calm?Utterly defeated, Maddy nevertheless kept a sunny expression on her
face while her stomach began to churn in distress. She willed it back into
submission as he went on, barely able to look into her deep, brown eyes.
"Um, I finally decided that I didn't want to live in sin any longer than
I had to," he explained. "She didn't either, so we got engaged back in
September. We went up north to share the news with our families. My
parents were happy, her parents were happy. But right now she and I are
having a little problem. See, she's a bit insecure because she's an older
woman-well, not older, but she's a few years older than me.
"Anyway, it all started on Valentine's Day. I had to work both jobs so
we never got to spend any time real time together and-Madeline I am
just not good at relationships!"
Hoping his admission would act as an entrée into a profound
conversation about the two of them, Ken was disappointed when his
plaintive sigh was met with silence. As usual, Maddy was at a loss for
words at a critical juncture. She couldn't determine if he was seeking
counsel from her as his newly minted "buddy" or trying to convey
something more significant. Either way, she wasn't willing to oblige.
"To make matters worse," he went on, "She wasn't happy with what I
bought her. I got her a pair of rollerblades-"
"Oh, I learned how to do that!" Madeline exclaimed. "My friends
from the dance studio taught me; we have the best time at the park in
Pompano. It's actually much easier than I expected. I love it!" She was
hoping to take the discussion in a new direction to remove the image of
Ken pledging his love and fidelity to another woman in front of God and
witnesses from her mind. Besides, it was the truth. Rollerblading was
second only to dancing and swimming now on her list of preferred
recreation.
"Good for you," he complimented, puzzled by her reaction. "It is fun,
isn't it?"
"And it's great exercise," she added. Then for effect, "Gosh I'd be
thrilled with a new pair of rollerblades, whether for Valentine's Day or any
other occasion!"
She recalled the beautiful sweater she'd purchased for him on
Valentine's two years back-a gift she'd given to her brother Greg after
he stood her up for their ski date. A comment Ken had made sometime
prior to that about Valentine's Day being a "Hallmark Holiday" suddenly
came to mind. Slowly, anger began to replace heartbreak, though she
continued to listen politely.
"Yeah well unfortunately, Erin didn't think rollerblades were a good
choice. She accused me of not caring for her, of not having time for her.
Anyway, we're just going through a tough time right now, but I'm sure
we'll be alright."
"Yes, you will," Maddy affirmed while the voice inside her head kept
repeating the mantra, I am a tower of strength, I am a tower of strength, over and
over again. Then he hit her with an unexpected query.
"Now how do you feel?" he asked nervously.
How the hell do you think I feel Kenny? You were the one calling and crying on
the phone for nearly two years about how much you loved me and missed me; the one
who practically begged me to move here in the first place; and the one who kept your
live-in girlfriend a secret until there was no turning back! How the hell do you think I
feel after uprooting my entire life, hurting my family and having to face the consequences
of a misinformed decision alone? How could you deceive me like that? Is this some sort
of payback for hurting you?"Hey, I think it's great!" she replied brightly. "Congratulations! I've
been dating a lot myself since I got here. Believe me; I have my own
things going on!"
"Well you sure seem as if you've changed," he noted with a twinge of
sadness and more than a little confusion. This was not even close to the
reaction he was expecting. Maybe Madeline hadn't loved him after all.
"If that's true, it's only in good ways," she stated plainly. For a
moment, neither of them spoke. Ken finally broke the silence.
"Hey, I'm glad things are going well for you. Erin knows all about
you, by the way. She knows we once dated and that we're now good friends. And since we're neighbors, what with us now living close by in
Boca Bayou, you have to come over at hang out with us at night. We can
rent movies, make sundaes, have cookouts…"
As his voice trailed off, Madeline remained mute, quietly pondering
the ludicrousness of what he was proposing. Did he really think the three of
them were going to be pals? Was there any realistic hope of her pulling that off?"You know, I'd love for you and Erin to be friends," he continued.
"She still doesn't know that many people here."
"But she's been here over a year, right?"
"Yeah, see I came down first and then Erin followed, months later."
Months later! Was that before or after you stood me up and then constantly called
me on the phone to cry about being lonely? Or did Erin move to Florida after you led
me on about being my date for Greg's wedding?At least the reason for the change in the tone of his calls had been
revealed, though Maddy couldn't quite decipher the timeline of events.
Not that it even mattered at this point. She wouldn't dare hurt a woman
she'd never met by coming clean with Ken about her real feelings, about
how she still loved him deeply in spite of everything. Even if she did go
out on that limb, there was no guarantee he'd return the sentiment, or
assuming he did, break off his engagement to Erin to pursue a renewed
relationship with her.
"She kind of depends on me," he explained. "She has a good job and
everything, but most of the people in the office have kids so they're busy
with their families. And of course, most of them live in Miami anyway.
But I know you two would get along so well. You could go out shopping,
go to the beach or just do whatever girls do when they get together."
Ugh! Was he for real?
"Uh, well you know Ken I am pretty busy these days with dance
rehearsals and everything. But you know, when football season rolls
around, maybe we could all catch an Eagles game at a sports bar one
Sunday."
"Oh-well Erin isn't much of a football fan. In fact, she despises it,"
he admitted wistfully.
"Ah well, that's too bad. She doesn't know what she's missing! I'm
hoping to go to a Dolphins game this year if I can get tickets."
As she spoke Ken recalled the fun they'd had at the Eagles-Vikings
game at the Vet that December, and of course, the barbeque at her Ocean
City place when their team squeaked by the Giants in a nail-biter. He'd
almost forgotten what a pleasure it was to experience the NFL with her-
yet another reminder of a shared interest sacrificed; another casualty of a
residual tide of bad timing and misplaced good intentions.
"Maddy, by the way, I love your apartment," he complimented, trying
to change the subject. He was suddenly feeling depressed.
"Thanks, I'm happy with it for now."
"You know, you could've called me when you were ready to move! I
told you I'd help you find something!"
"Nah, I know you're busy," she replied breezily. "Besides as you can
see, I did pretty well on my own." She didn't mention that she was
struggling to pay the rent, but such matters were no longer any of his
concern.
"You sure did. I'm very proud of you!"
"Thank you." Then glancing at the clock she announced, "My
goodness, look at the time! I'm really sorry Ken but they're expecting me
at the studio any minute. I really have to get going!"
With that, she abruptly got off the couch, a move he mimicked a
second later.
"Well ok then, Maddy," he conceded with a hug and a kiss on the
cheek. "I have to meet some clients soon anyway. You take care and
remember I am just down the road if you need anything. You can call me
anytime, day or night!"
And though in the sacred confines of her heart and soul she vowed
she'd never take him up on this tempting but inappropriate offer, she
mumbled a polite thank you as she ushered him back out the door. From
the second-floor window, she watched him pull away in his pre-owned
silver BMW convertible, before throwing herself on the bed and sobbing
uncontrollably.