* * *
"Have a great day, hon!" Mom called out as Maddy pulled her white
Le Baron back out of the driveway of the family's Pennsylvania home. It
was Monday morning, and she'd just dropped off her mother and Aunt
Maria, before heading out into her territory to do some sales calls.
"Bye!" Maddy blew them a final kiss before cruising down Martin's
Run, on her way to Cedar Grove Road, then ultimately, Route 252, which
she would take into Paoli. She was planning on hitting some hot prospects
in the Chester County area today. The summer doldrums were
transitioning slowly into a post-Labor Day mindset, as companies
returned their attention to their hiring needs.
Although Maddy enjoyed the flexibility-along with the endless
opportunity to meet new people-that her outside sales position afforded
her, she was growing weary of its constant demands, ever-higher quotas
and often frustrating outcomes. On many occasions, when she'd finally
lure a new client successfully away from their usual agency, the thrill of
accomplishment would give way to utter disappointment when her own
company couldn't fill the open position with a qualified person, or worse,
had to do damage control when one of their temps either didn't show up
or did a lousy job.
Unfortunately, her quarterly commissions depended upon
satisfactorily completed assignments, something over which she exerted
little control. While getting a new client to call with an order was nice, it
was just the beginning of an extremely arduous process.
However, on this cheerful morning, career dissatisfaction was the last
thing on Maddy's mind-it was too occupied with thoughts of Ken to
care about temporary or permanent placements. And when Jon Secada's
song came on the radio as she headed down Lancaster Pike, it transported
her right back to the previous evening at Kenny's townhouse. He sure was
full of pleasant surprises; underneath that handsome, well-built exterior
beat the heart of a truly sensitive Pisces, a man whose emotions seemed to
run as deeply as her own.
As Maddy had gasped in admiration over Ken's military
accomplishments, conveyed through his captivating story-telling and vivid
collection of photographs, he'd abruptly stopped. So engrossed had she
been in the pictures, she'd failed to notice the storm clouds that had
usurped his normally radiant countenance.
"Kenny? You ok?" she'd inquired softly when she noticed him wipe
away a tear. That's when he'd turned to look at her, his blue eyes
glistening.
"I just can't get over how interested you are in all of this," he'd
explained. "During my four years in the service, my own father never
even once wrote to me. Hell, I don't think he's even forgiven me yet for
enlisting in the first place. He never wanted me to."
"But why? I would think he'd be so very proud of you," Maddy
offered.
"You don't know my father," he added, with an ironic laugh. "He
took it as a personal insult that I didn't want to stay in Ventnor and make
meatball subs and stromboli's for shoobies and tourists. Figured if living
there was good enough for him and my brothers it should be good
enough for me."
"Oh Kenny, I'm so sorry," she said softly, placing a hand on his
shoulder. "I think it's amazing that you had the presence of mind at that
young age to make such a huge, life-altering decision. I give you so much
credit. At 18, I wasn't nearly that mature."
"Why do you seem to know just what to say to make me feel better?"
he'd asked, somewhat rhetorically.
"I just call 'em as I see 'em," she'd chuckled, trying to lighten the
mood. It seemed to have worked as Ken had kissed her forehead in
response, before picking up right up where they'd left off with the next
photo.
"Oh, my! Look at these beautiful redwood trees!" Maddy exclaimed
when Ken had turned the page. And then came the shots of a petite
young woman with long ebony hair, standing with him in front of
northern California's celebrated natural landscape.
"Who's this?" Maddy'd asked with more than a little curiosity. As
crazy as it seemed, she actually felt a bit jealous.
"Oh, that's Liz Anne, my high school sweetheart." For the first time
all evening, Ken seemed reluctant to talk.
"And?" she pressed him.
"Not much to tell," he shrugged. "We dated during our senior year.
After graduation when I joined the Navy, we kept in close touch. Unlike
my father, she wrote to me every week. So did my mother. They both
came out to see me one time, when I was on leave. That's what these
pictures are from."
"Looks like you're having fun," Maddy noted, taking in the smiling
faces at the airport, in front of the Golden Gate Bridge and in the middle
of Fisherman's Wharf.
"We did….for a while." His tone was serious again.
"What happened?"
"Maddy," Ken sighed. "I don't know if I want to get into this-No,
you know what? I am going to tell you the truth." She braced for the
worst. Were they still involved? Had they married and were now separated?
"Liz Anne was a nice girl like you," he began. "And I really loved her.
I had no problem waiting for her until we got married, and I'd told her
that over and over again. But she was kind of insecure and she had these
preconceived ideas about sailors, you know, the girl in every port thing.
Her friends didn't help any; they just added fuel to the fire with their wild
imaginings."
He stopped for a second and ran his hands through his blond waves.
Maddy waited quietly for him to continue, genuinely intrigued.
"She swore she trusted me, but kept saying that she knew all about
the pressure I was under constantly, you know, from the other guys." He
gave her a telling glance, and Maddy nodded her understanding.
"Somewhere in her mind she got this crazy thought that she owed me. It
wasn't my idea, Maddy, I swear. I never pushed her to do anything. But
on our last night together she insisted on consummating our relationship.
And I was as gentle with her as I knew how to be.
"Still, afterwards, she cried uncontrollably. And I felt so incredibly
guilty. I was so sorry it happened; I really did love her and all I wanted to
do was make her happy."
Maddy studied him as he spoke, quietly ascertaining the veracity of his
words and the obvious pain this memory still held for him. Kenny stared
in the distance as he brought his arms back behind his head. Without any
prompting, he continued, "So I decided to do something special for her-
I gave her all of my personal journals as a gift, so she'd understand how
much she'd meant to me."
"Wow," Maddy remarked, more than a little impressed. As someone
who'd painstakingly kept journals since childhood, she was delighted that
she and Kenny shared yet another important commonality, and
simultaneously amazed that he would actually love someone enough to
entrust them with such an intensely personal gift. "Gosh, Kenny, I am
speechless. She must've been so overwhelmed when you gave those to
her!"
He just shrugged as he went on. "Well apparently it wasn't enough.
When I got back home, I bought her a small engagement ring. I called it a
promise ring, because as soon as I'd gotten my career started I'd planned
on buying her something bigger."
"So then what happened? Did she accept it?"
"Yes, but she was still very suspicious. Kept wondering who'd I'd
been with, knowing my affectionate nature."
"Oh," Maddy said softly, watching the tears begin to form once again.
For the life of her she'd never understand some women.
"The sad part is, I really loved her parents and they loved me. But we
couldn't seem to get beyond this misunderstanding. Then of course, I was
fighting with my father over my future plans, so I moved into my own
apartment. That's when I took the job parking cars at the Taj. It paid my
bills and gave me time to think about my next move."
"Makes sense," Maddy commented.
"I thought so," Ken continued. "I had gotten good engineering
training in the Navy, but Atlantic Electric didn't have a position available
for me yet. One of my buddies was making good money as a parking
valet, so he got me in. I actually enjoyed it; it was fast-paced and I got to
meet a lot of people. And the tips were great."
"So, what about Liz Anne?"
"Well, one day she stopped by to inform me that she'd burned all of
my journals," he explained with a twinge of bitterness. "That was just
before she threw the ring in my face. After that, she eloped with another
guy from our graduating class, who'd since become a cop in
Pleasantville."
"No way!" Maddy exclaimed. "Oh, Kenny, I am so sorry she did that
to you!"
She'd slipped her arm around him as she tried to shift her position on
the rippling waterbed, causing her to fall on top of him. It was a welcome
moment of comic relief. Kenny smoothed her long hair and kissed her
forehead as she settled comfortably into his chest.
"I am glad it happened," he'd whispered. "I wouldn't be here right
now, holding you in my arms if it hadn't." Maddy closed her eyes,
relishing his warmth as they'd both drifted into a peaceful sleep.