“Gladly.” Taking her pen, I scrawled my name across her chest. She laughed the entire time.

Evan and Matt wandered through the area and, leaving the girls to daydream about me, I cornered my bandmates and asked them about me performing tonight. Like they’d rehearsed it, they gave me the same answer as Kellan—Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. Between this denial and Matt’s absolute refusal to let me play lead, I was fuming by the time we went onstage. I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to wait a couple days, but still, I was ready for my moment—a moment that had been denied me for far too long already.

For the first time in a long time, I really paid attention during the show. Kellan made the introductions, Kellan started the songs, Kellan spoke to the crowd between the songs. Every once in a while, he would throw a remark our way, but he was in control of the entire performance, and most of his attention was directed toward the fans, not his bandmates. He’d chat with them, ask them how they were doing, run down the aisle to say hello to the ones in the back. Every question he aimed their way was met with a resounding shriek of approval that made me roll my eyes in annoyance.

Nothing he was doing was all that special. I could ask the crowd if they were having fun. I could run up the aisle way to high-five strangers. I could sing the songs, gyrate my hips, and point at hot girls in the pit. Kellan wasn’t the be-all and end-all of this band. He was just one member. As I looked around the stadium, I began to wonder if the fans knew that. All the posters I could see were for him. I LOVE KELLAN. MARRY ME, KELLAN. WE ADORE YOU, KELLAN. KELLAN IS THE MAN. HAVE MY BABY, KELLAN. Kellan, Kellan, Kellan. I was sick of his name long before the concert ended.

And every night for the next two weeks was a lot like that night. All I heard from the guys when I asked them if I could have a piece of the performance pie was, Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. If we had an off day, they all avoided me like the plague. They claimed they were sightseeing or catching up on sleep, but I didn’t buy it. I knew when I was being blown off. All I could do was sit, stew, and complain to anyone who would listen to me.

“Don’t you think that’s ridiculous? I’m not asking for much, just ten minutes on the mic. Or five. I would be happy with five. A moment in the spotlight, that’s all I want.”

The girls I was talking to looked between themselves. Then they started simultaneously busting out questions that had nothing to do with what I had been talking about. “So, Griffin, you’re sharing a bus with Kellan? What’s it like? What’s he like? Is he tidy or messy? What does he do during his downtime? Is he really married, or was that just another rumor? I just can’t tell what’s real or not anymore.”

I stared at them in complete shock and disbelief. “Did any of you listen to a word I said? He’s an ass. They’re all asses!”

One of them put her hands over her heart. She was wearing a KELLAN FOREVER T-shirt. Go figure. Where did they keep finding these fucking T-shirts? “But he’s sooooooo hot. And sexy. And talented. I just want to lick him all over.”

“You’re all brainwashed,” I murmured.

One of the girls had a wide face framed with equally wide glasses. She must have heard my comment, ’cause she frowned and looked at me like I’d just told her that her kid was ugly. “You know, you keep talking about how they screwed you over, but you should just be happy that you’re a part of the team.”

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The girl beside her had so many freckles, her face looked like one of those dot paintings that Jenny did sometimes. “Yeah, I mean, so you’re not the lead singer or the lead guitarist, you’re still the…”

Her voice trailed off and her eyes widened, and I knew she had no idea what instrument I played. “Bassist,” I said, annoyed.

Her expression softened with relief. “Right, yeah, the bassist…and that’s…super cool.”

Wanting away from them, and everyone, I jerked my thumb down the hall. “I’m going to go find a beer now, but if you’re looking for a good time, Kellan’s that way. Just tell his assistant with the baby that you’re there to suck his dick. She’ll scoot you to the front of the line.”

The freckled girl looked mortified. “We’d never…I mean, we don’t know him, and he might be married, and…” She glanced at her two friends. “Let’s go,” she whispered. The three of them darted down the hall, giggling.

“Kiera is going to kick your ass for that one,” an amused voice said behind me.

Turning around, I saw Anna and Gibson standing there. Anna was holding Gibson’s fingers in one hand and an open beer bottle in the other. Goddamn, I loved the fact that my wife could often anticipate my needs. It was sometimes eerie, like she was in my head. Oddly, the thought of her residing in my brain didn’t scare me at all. There wasn’t anyone else I’d want in that mudhole with me.

Gibson immediately reached out for me when they got close enough. “Up!” she demanded, while Anna handed me my beer. Finally, a pair of people who wanted me more than Kellan.

Picking up my daughter with one arm so I could still drink my beer, I gave Anna an appreciative smile. You’re the best. Then, remembering my encounters lately, I frowned. “I just realized something…besides the fact that my bandmates are lying, chickenshit assholes.”

“Assholes,” Gibson mimicked with a cheesy grin.

Laughing, I gave her a high five. “Damn straight, kiddo.”




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