“You’re mine,” he says again fiercely. “Not his, not anyone else’s. You can try and pretend you don’t feel it, but you do. You’ll always be mine.”
His eyes burn into mine, demanding, and I know with a terrible clarity, that it’s true.
I belong to him.
The realization sends a fresh shard of guilt splintering through my chest. He’s right. I’ve always been his. If he picked me up right now and hauled me upstairs to bed, I wouldn’t resist for one second. I would be his, completely, to hell with Daniel and every promise I’ve made.
But what does that make me?
Emerson drops one final, searing kiss on my lips, and then stalks away. I sink against the railing, clutching on for dear life as I watch him climb up into his truck and start the engine, the headlights cutting through the night. He backs up and drives away, the lights fading as he disappears into the trees.
I’m left alone on the porch, body burning with the imprint of his hands; lips swollen from the force of his kisses. I feel more wretched and guilty and confused and alone than I ever have before.
What the hell am I going to do now?
CHAPTER SIX
I spend another night not sleeping, restlessly dismantling a guest bedroom into boxes, but nothing can erase the memory of Emerson’s searing kiss. It’s like he’s still lingering there in the shadows of the living room, or out on the porch, in the front yard. I can’t get the image of him out of my mind: the way he looked as he grabbed me with those powerful hands, growling low and sexy in my ear.
Mine.
I don’t know what to think. He was the one who ended things! He was the one who shattered my heart, four long summers ago. And now, it’s like he wants me all the same—right when I’m not his to take.
I’m so confused, I can’t take it. By the time the sun rises, I’m on the road: heading back to Charlotte as fast as my Camaro will take me. I don’t even wait around to meet Lacey’s walk of shame, I just leave her a scribbled note on the counter, throw my duffel in the backseat and get the hell out of town.
I half expect Emerson to find me and stop me somehow, and it’s not until the ‘Welcome to Cedar Cove’ sign is receding in my rearview mirror that I let out a slow sigh of relief. My hands are clenched tight around the steering wheel, and I flex them, trying to relax. I know it’s a coward’s way out, to just turn and run, but I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t stay in that town a minute longer, not when all it takes is one look from Emerson to undo the last four years healing; when all it takes is one touch for me to throw every promise out the window.
To come undone.
My phone buzzes with a new text message. I pick it up to check the screen.
Jules, we need to talk. CALL ME.
I’m coming over, this is crazy.
Where r u? Ur not here. Call me.Emerson.
He’s been texting since 5AM, calling too. I don’t know where he got the number—through Lacey, maybe—but it doesn’t matter. He’s the last man on earth I need to talk to right now. The phone buzzes again in my hand, and I’m about to hit ‘decline call’, when I see the caller ID is Lacey.
I pick up. “Hey.”
“Hey, she says!” Lacey exclaims, her voice loud down the line. “What the f**k happened? I come home, and there’s nothing but a note. ‘Back in Charlotte. Jules, tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s fine.” I lie. “I just, needed to get back to the city. How was Garrett? Did you have fun?”
“Don’t change the subject with me, missy.” Lacey isn’t taking my bullshit for a second. “And for the record, guys with beards should never give head. It’s way too scratchy. But back to you and your vanishing act. Details, stat, now.”
I sigh, easing my foot off the gas a little. “Lace…”
“It’s Emerson, isn’t it?” Her voice darkens. “I knew I shouldn’t have loaned my phone to Garrett. What did he do?”
“It’s not him.” I tell her, miserable. I see an exit up ahead with a gas station, so I shift lanes. “Hold on a sec,” I tell her, putting the phone aside as I take the exit and turn off, pulling in to park by the gas station store.
The lot is empty. I pick up the phone again. “OK, I’m back.”
“What happened, Jules. Did Emerson try something?”
“It’s not his fault, it’s mine.” I take a deep breath, and admit the terrible truth. “Oh, Lacey, I don’t know what to do. I cheated on Daniel.”
She gasps. “Juliet! You slept with the ex?!”
“No!” I yelp quickly. “God, no, nothing like that.”
I don’t say how close we came, but I feel the shame anyway.
“I don’t get it?” Lacey sounds confused. “If you guys didn’t f**k, how did you cheat?”
I pause. “We kissed.” I admit, feeling another twist of guilt in my stomach.
“Like, below the belt?” Lacey prods.
“No.” I reply. At least, not technically. “We just made out. But Lacey, it was… epic.” I sigh, staring out at the row of pumps and tire compression checks. “I’m a terrible, awful, slutty monster of a person. What am I going to do? Daniel’s going to hate me for sure.”
“Woah, woah, back up.” Lacey orders me. “First of all, making out with a guy is so not cheating.”