I stood there alone within the room as tears of impotent fury coursed down my cheeks to splatter on the expensive parquet marble floor. I wiped them away with the sleeve of my blouse and then at my lips roughly not caring if the wiped off lipstick stained the blouse or not.
After a few moments of silent rage I turned to the door. I saw a trashcan and going to it I tossed the un-passed out dirt files into it. It was garbage anyway.
I left then and made my way through the ranks of concerned employees who were in a shocked daze at their sudden joblessness. I had helped put them there and for what?
To keep my head above water as it were?
Francesca's laughter rang out from somewhere else in the building and reminded me of something of a biblical import. In the effort to keep my head above water I'd landed in hell and the laughter of my tormentor only brought that realization to full light.
Life was hopeless!
It always had been, but now it was doubly so. It didn't matter what one did to bury or move on from past mistakes. They always had a way of resurfacing to the forefront and multiplying.
I wanted to scream, actually I just wanted to lay down and die. Like an old animal too tired of life to continue taking in the needed nutrition to support life.
I was on the street and instead of calling for a cab I just walked. Eventually I found myself outside my apartment building.
Listlessly I made my way up to it in complete apathy of spirit. There was a package leaning against my door.
The sudden desire to commit murder came to full life within me. I didn't have a gun, but I knew where I could get one on the street.
I rested my head against the door jam. It didn't matter.
Even if I did kill Francesca the package she held over my head would still be sent on its way.
Who was I kidding!
She'd send it anyway someday just for kicks, even if I did everything she wanted and let her use me at will.
Oh God what was I going to do?
Against every fiber of my being I picked the package up and entered my apartment. I was so deep in now I didn't know anything else other than to go in deeper.
I set the package on the kitchen table and stared at it for several moments before I started to open it. Francesca's future path for me became very real as I pulled the box apart to see what was inside. How fitting it was that what lay within the box was a leather manifestation of a slave girl outfit, because that was exactly what I was.