Ava's mouth went so dry she could hardly speak, and yet she had to speak, to fil the silence in an attempt to appease her nerves. "I don't want to hurt him."
"He hasn't made you any promises?"
"No."
"You haven't made him any promises?"
"No."
"Do you want to make love with me, Ava?"
His voice had softened as if he was afraid she'd say no. But a denial would've been the biggest lie she'd ever told, and she didn't even try. "Yes."
Grinning in obvious relief, he dropped his boxers and waded into the water wearing only his dog tags.
As Luke waded closer, Ava's heart began to pound so loudly she couldn't hear anything else. She was excited, scared, hesitant and fil ed with a driving lust--al at the same time. But fear won out as her most compelling emotion. In a sudden panic, she dove beneath the surface and started swimming as fast as she could in the opposite direction. She had to get away from Luke before it was too late. Before he gave her exactly what she craved and the experience was forever imprinted in her memory....
But he was the better swimmer. Using strong, steady strokes, he quickly caught up with her. He must've been able to feel her shaking because he pulled her close and held her tightly against him instead of touching her in any sexual way. "Hey, don't be nervous," he murmured in her ear. "I'm not in this for a one-night stand. I like you a lot, Ava. You're a good person--stubborn as hell, but a good person. I think we should see where this could lead."
She knew where it would lead. Easy come, easy go. She couldn't trust him. She was too broken, too jaded. How could they start a relationship with her living each day as if she expected him to walk out on her--or turn to the next pretty girl who came along? She was no match for a man like this.
"Let's talk about it later," she said. Presumably when her brain was working again.
"I didn't want you to think this was anything like what happened with Kalyna. I want to be with you."
Ava told herself to ignore those words. She couldn't count on them any longer than it took to do the deed. Al men talked that way when they wanted sex. Sometimes she wondered if it was a defect in a male's genetic code. "At least you're not drunk, right?" she joked.
He looked at her as if he considered that an odd response, but if he'd expected to hear that she really liked him, too, he'd have a lengthy wait.
She wasn't going to fall for this. She was going to enjoy the physical benefits because she craved it as badly--or worse--than he did. But no way would she count on him to be there for her afterward.
"You okay?" he asked.
She nodded.
"You're shaking. You know I'l be gentle, don't you?"
She only knew she'd made her decision and now she could scarcely breathe. Between the cold water moving past her and the heat that threatened to incinerate her from the inside, she was already on sensory overload. "It's been sort of a long time for me," she whispered.
"I know. It's okay."
"Like five months," she added. "And it was several years before Geoffrey came along."
"Just relax."
Impossible. His erection was pressing into her stomach, every bit as impressive as he'd promised at Starbucks, when he'd been purposely provoking her. "What about b-birth control?"
"I've got it handled. Don't worry about anything."
Don't worry? Those were the words any girl needed to worry about!
She spoke at high schools on "How to Avoid Becoming a Victim," repeating exactly that message. But his hands were sliding down her back to cup her bottom and his firm, slick body felt so good against hers she couldn't manage any resistance. She was on fire--and quite happy to burn.
He bent his head, but didn't kiss her. He used his tongue and lips on her neck, moving higher until she dropped her head back. But even as she struggled to forfeit her usual control, she worried that her stepfather was right. Maybe she was frigid, in ways. She almost didn't know how to succumb to the pleasure anymore, at least not gracefully. Was that frigid?
"That's it," he coaxed her. "Trust me, Ava."
She was too much of a cynic to trust any man, especially him. But when he lifted her partway out of the water and settled his mouth on her breast, fiery darts of pleasure raced through her, and she knew--gracefully or no--she would succumb. Blanking her mind, she arched into him, and the fear and stiffness began to ease in direct proportion to the rising desire.
He moved to the other breast, and soon giving herself over to him was no longer a struggle. At this point, she couldn't have thought coherently if she'd tried. Forget. Forget the past. Forget the fear. Forget the future....
Catching his face between her hands, she brought his mouth to meet hers, and kissed him with all the longing she'd ever felt. He must've liked it because he moaned as his tongue slid against hers. Then his hands found her bottom again. "You definitely know how to kiss," he muttered against her lips. And then he started to remove her panties.
Ava swallowed hard. Oh, no--she was thinking again. She was wondering if she'd regret this. What price would she have to pay for it?
Nothing this good came free. Certainly, Luke would become the standard by which she measured every man in the future. Wouldn't that guarantee disappointment? When had she ever met anyone like him?
But then her underwear was gone and she was completely naked.
And that made her feel so damn vulnerable.
She gripped his arms. "Do you think this is a bad idea?"
He was too far gone to take her seriously. "I think you worry too much."
Right. No one else seemed to worry about taking what they wanted.
She was just being her typical neurotic self.
He threw her panties toward shore, and Ava watched them drop onto the bank. Should she swim off? Head to shore and retrieve them?
"Hey, look at me."
She glanced up at him. He kissed her again, and only seconds later she didn't care about her panties or anything else. Especially when his hand slipped between their bodies.
"Somehow you make it feel like the first time," he said, and gently tugged her lower lip into his mouth.
Ava thought she'd been doing everything wrong. But he obviously didn't mind. "That's it...that's...Oh!" She saw his face, fil ed with focus and intent, just before she closed her eyes and threw her head back in final and complete abandon. She was close...so close. But she wanted to feel him inside her.
Opening her eyes again, she stared up at him, too hungry to wait any longer. Wrapping her legs around him, she tried to take him inside her.