Zoe toyed with the decorative place mats on the table. How silly, she thought, to leave these out when they were never used.
"Zoe?"
She met his gaze. "Like I said, we checked with Franky. He didn't take her."
"He's a ra**st! You think he'd admit to kidnapping?"
She wished she could go back in time--a week, two weeks, a year. If only she'd never met Anton. If only she'd refused when he'd asked her out. It would've been better to keep struggling on her own. Chances were, she'd still have Sam. And she longed for her daughter infinitely more than she'd ever longed for Anton or even the dream of living comfortably and productively.
"Sam's very existence came as a total shock to him. And he had his grandmother right there, vouching for him."
"His grandmother."
"Yes."
"What, grandmothers can't lie to protect their loved ones? Surely she and Franky can cover their asses at least as well as you do. After all, they're from the gutter, too."
A chill swept through Zoe. Maybe she'd kept a few secrets, but he'd been aware of her background. She'd never pretended to be more than she was. "How can you be so unkind at a time like this?"
He briefly covered his face. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm hurt, but you're going through enough already, so I can't even have the satisfaction of venting."
She gaped at him. "My daughter is missing, and you're disappointed that you can't rant and rave about your unhappiness?"
"I shouldn't have let myself love you, Zoe. You're too young and beautiful for me. It's not realistic to believe a guy my age can hang on to a woman like you. Besides the age gap, we're too different. My parents warned me from the beginning. But--" he threw up his hands "--here I am."
Zoe felt as cold as a marble statue. She couldn't move, could hardly breathe. "So now I'm a mistake?"
"Continuing to pursue a relationship with you would be the mistake.
Whether I want to accept it or not, this was never what I wanted it to be."
Hyperaware of the suitcase sitting behind her, Zoe's mind raced through possibilities. Her makeup and her clothing--that was all she really owned. They'd sold her car a few months ago and used what little they got for it as a down payment on her Lexus IS. They'd decided she needed a reliable and somewhat impressive vehicle if she was going to become a commercial real estate agent.
But she wasn't even working anymore. She'd never be able to make the payments by herself. "Are you kicking me out?"
"No, of course not. You can stay a week or two until...until the situation with Sam is resolved...one way or another."
"One way or another," she said, then laughed. "How generous of you."
"I didn't ask for this to happen, Zoe."
But she suspected he was relieved to be calling it quits. He'd been as smitten with obtaining the ideal as she was--had been eager to marry a young, attractive woman. But he wasn't flexible enough to share his belongings, let alone his life. And now, being with her would mean seeing her through the worst nightmare imaginable to a mother. He'd already received a taste of it and wasn't interested in more. He preferred to go back to his safe, methodical existence without worry about whether or not she was bringing in enough money to pay her portion of the bills. "Is it the ten thousand dollars, Anton? Is that the real problem?" she asked. "When it comes right down to it, you just can't part with it, can you?" It wasn't an entirely fair accusation. He was more worried about money than she would've liked, but she knew it wasn't the reward that was breaking them up.
She was just so...hurt and angry. And he retaliated in kind.
"Is that what you're staying with me for? So I'll supply the money and anything else you need?"
"You think I've been using you all along?"
When he wouldn't answer, she knew. He wasn't happy about being excluded from her confidence, but he could've forgiven that if she was truly in love with him. Knowing she wasn't made him feel used--and he wasn't willing to be played for a fool. His pride wouldn't allow it. Neither would he risk so much on a relationship that couldn't possibly last. She'd become a poor investment, a liability.
So what did that mean? She'd be left without her daughter, without her fiance, without a home. And without a reward to offer for Samantha's return.
Grabbing the bottle of gin from the table, she downed the last swallow with a grimace at the after-kick. Then she went to the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" he asked, following her.
"I'm leaving."
"It's the middle of the night," he said, but there was more relief than conviction in his voice. If it was over between them, he preferred she leave now.
"I know."
"Where will you go?"
"I have no idea."
He watched her pack. "You'll land on your feet, Zoe. Eventually.
You're a survivor."
She didn't bother turning to look at him. She was afraid she'd start laughing and never stop. "I appreciate the encouragement, Anton."
Ignoring her sarcasm, he remained as serious as ever. "And I really hope you get Sam back. If...if you want, you can borrow the reward money.
Pay me back later."
Now he was trying to placate his conscience for letting her down.
"No, thanks. I'll figure out some other way."
Suddenly eager to escape his presence, his house, his meaningless platitudes, she moved faster. Until now, she hadn't realized how claustrophobic he made her feel. He drained all the color from life.
"I'm taking the Lexus," she said.
"Of course. If it'll help, I'll make the next payment. You know, give you some breathing room until you find work."
At last, she turned to face him. "That's like telling someone who's just lost a leg that you'll provide a Band-Aid," she said, and laughter got the better of her, after all.
Chapter 18
"I have a treat for you." Tiffany smiled so brightly Sam somehow found the energy to sit up. Tiffany didn't have to tell her what the treat was; she could see the piece of toast with jelly, could smell it.
"Why are you bringing me this?" she asked.
Tiffany lifted it high. "That sounded a bit sulky to me, miss."
"I just...I don't know why you'd bring me a treat."
"Because I'm a nice person," she said. "Why else would I do it? You know Colin wouldn't like it. He'd probably make me go without dinner tonight if he knew. But I'm taking the risk. For you."
This small kindness nearly brought tears to Samantha's eyes. "Thank you."