"Hey, if you're up, why didn't you come out?" she asked. "Couldn't you hear Colin? He was acting so weird, almost coming on to me. I think he was drunk."
He took a swallow of his drink but continued to stare at the clock on the wall.
"Anton?" She left her bag in the entryway as his red-rimmed eyes cut to her.
"Is it true?" he asked.
Somehow she knew he wasn't talking about their neighbor. Her mind immediately reverted to those few seconds with Jonathan standing behind her at the bathroom mirror--and then later, when she'd slept in his arms. But they'd been fully dressed and hadn't even faced each other. The desire was there, which constituted enough of a betrayal, but she couldn't believe it translated into any real threat. Her current crisis made her feel instantly close to the person who best understood her pain; that was all. This wasn't regular life, the kind that goes on after tragedy.
How could Anton know about Jonathan, anyway? Jonathan had barely left.
"Is what true?" she asked.
"About Sam's dad?"
The rape. Her stomach knotted with fresh tension as she sank into a chair. "Who told you?"
"You didn't think the police would check your background?"
Launching unsteadily to his feet, he shocked her by throwing his glass at the wall. The sound of it shattering made Zoe flinch. "They're searching to see if there might be someone who'd have a reason to take Sam, for crying out loud!"
"Anton--"
"Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was for me to sit here and tell Detective Thomas that Sam's father was killed in a car accident? I'm your fiance, for God's sake! I'm supposed to know you!"
Zoe's heart pounded a jagged rhythm. "Anton, please. That must've been awkward and upsetting. But I need you to try and understand, to be on my side until...until I can get through this. Just...have some patience and give me a chance to explain."
He rounded on her. "Explain what? Why you've been lying to me ever since I met you? How can I be on your side, Zoe? How can I love you and support you if I don't even know you! Here I am, taking time off work, meeting with police, putting up a reward for God's sake--and you've known all along who probably took her."
"That's not true." She stood because she could no longer let him rail at her from above. "The last I knew, her father was in prison."
"Well, he's out now."
"Yes..."
"Did Jonathan unearth that information? The handsome young investigator who's been interested in you from the second he laid eyes on you?"
Zoe couldn't remember Anton ever being so angry. When he got upset, he tended to sulk. But this confrontation was the culmination of a lot of problems. Their relationship had been suffering, particularly because of financial disagreements, long before Sam went missing. "Anton, calm down."
"Calm down?" he yelled.
"I talked to Franky today. He doesn't have her!"
"So you didn't even tell me the truth about where you were going," he said with a mirthless laugh.
"I had no idea we'd see Franky."
"Bullshit!"
"It's true. Jonathan didn't tell me until we got down there."
"But you told him you were raped, right? You trusted him with the truth."
"That's not fair! He knows because of Skye. She was part of a victims'
support group I attended several years ago." Had Zoe thought about it, she would've realized that the police would be privy to, or could easily come by, the same information, but she'd been too distracted to consider all the implications. She certainly hadn't expected anyone to tell Anton.
"I think you told him. I think that's what you were whispering about while you were making out in my backyard."
A bead of sweat rolled between Zoe's br**sts. "We weren't making out, and you know it. I was falling apart, Anton. And he..."
"He acted in a completely inappropriate manner!"
Zoe shook her head. How could she explain what had happened in that moment? Her encounter with Jonathan at the hotel had been inappropriate, but not that hug. Jonathan hadn't expected to get anything out of the comfort he offered, and she'd taken nothing but the comfort she needed. "It wasn't the way you're choosing to interpret it. None of it."
"How can you say that, when I was the only one left in the dark?"
The gray at his temples suddenly made him seem less distinguished and merely...old. When had he changed? She'd always been conscious of the age difference, but it'd never bothered her. And why were the attributes that had drawn her to him--the fact that he was established, organized, neat, successful, stable--no longer so appealing?
Was it because of her recent preoccupation with a younger man? Or was Sam's disappearance acting like a wake-up call--an event shocking enough to make her reevaluate her whole life?
"I didn't tell you because..."
"Why?" he demanded when her words trailed off.
She struggled to explain what could only be called instinct. "Because I don't want anyone to know. It was a horrible experience. I'd rather forget, pretend it never happened. Can't you understand that? Think what it would do to Sam if she ever found out."
Watching her sadly, he shook his head. "Again, it's you and Sam. I'm not even a consideration."
"I--We...Please, Anton, I didn't tell you because we weren't married yet. And...and you know I've been through a lot of dysfunctional relationships. I just...it was in the past. I didn't see why you or anyone else needed to know."
"You were holding out on me, Zoe. Only telling me what you wanted me to hear. That's not being open or honest."
"There's nothing wrong with trying to protect Sam," she countered.
"Except that it's not just Sam, is it? You weren't serious about our relationship."
"I was serious enough to accept your proposal."
"You said yes with your mouth, and maybe with your mind, but not with your heart. You never fully embraced me."
Was it true? Zoe squeezed her eyes shut. Her entire world was collapsing, and there didn't seem to be a damn thing she could do to stop it.
"It was in the past," she said for the third time, but there was no conviction in her voice. And deep down, she knew he was right. She'd been in love with the idea of becoming the wife of someone like him, of finally breaking away from the hand-to-mouth existence she'd always known and commanding a little respect. She'd never been fully in love with him.
God, what a time to realize it.
"How about after Sam went missing? Didn't you think it was important to mention Franky then?" he mocked.