“It’s fine, Tru.” She takes my hand patting it with her other. “Everything is in hand here with your column. The important thing at the moment is Jake, and making sure he’s okay. We can worry about the bio and everything else later.”
I feel the weight lift off my shoulders.
“Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?” I can feel tears forming in my eyes.
“It’s been a while.” She winks at me.
“Well you are, and I love you lots and lots.” I wrap my arms around her, hugging her.
Then the tears start to run from my eyes.
How am I going to cope without her and Simone when I move to LA? And my Mum and Dad for that matter?
I can’t even tell Vicky about the move at the moment. I will soon, but dropping this on her is enough for now, I think.
“Oh, my darling girl, don’t cry,” she says hearing my sniffling, she hugs me tighter.
Thank god I wore waterproof mascara today. Subconsciously, I must have known I would be crying a lot today.
Releasing myself, I get a tissue from my bag, and dry my eyes.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“Don’t be sorry. You’ve had an emotional time of late, a lot of changes in your life. I’d be worried if you weren’t crying. Now, do you want something to drink?” she asks, getting to her feet, moving toward her desk.
“Coffee?”
“I was thinking something a little stronger.” Her tone is conspiratorial. Then she pulls a bottle of Jim Beam from out of her desk drawer.
“Perfect,” I say, a little smile forming on my lips, as Vicky grabs two cups off her shelf.
I leave work a little over an hour later, having spent that time in Vicky’s office talking and drinking whiskey.
I feel a little lighter after the chat, and a lot lighter after the whiskey, and now I’m more than ready to see Jake.
Eight hours to go.
As I push out of the glass doors of my building, the cool air hits my skin, and the lightness, kindly provided by Jim Beam, unfortunately, starts to lift.
Taking a right, I turn to head toward the Tube station for home.
“Tru?”
Pausing, I turn around to see Will standing about twenty yards away from me.
He’s dressed in blue jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while, and I can see the bruising left from his fight with Jake around his eye. I hate that they fought because of me.
He looks different, but still handsome. Just Will. The Will I loved – love.
I feel a sudden pang for him. The intensity of it surprises me.
“Will? What-what are you doing here?” I try to recover myself from the shock of just seeing him here in the street.
“Sorry I just–” he takes a step forward.
“Have you followed me?” I ask.
That sounded really conceited. I wish I could take it back.
“No,” he answers softly. “I’d just popped into work to drop something off, and I saw you go into your building. I just … I wanted to talk to you, so I hung around and waited.” He pushes his hands deep in his pockets. “I called you … left messages but you never called me back.”
“I’m sorry.” I hug my bag to my side. “I just didn’t think it was a good idea to talk then, you were angry … rightly so and I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”
“How are you?” He takes another step closer.
“I’m okay.” I tuck my hair nervously behind my ear. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know.” He shrugs, and runs his hand through his lovely blonde hair. It looks all mussed up. Very un-Will. It suits him.
His eyes meet with mine.
He looks nervous and sad. My heart is aching seeing him here standing before me looking this way.
This is what I’ve done to him.
“Do you have time to have a coffee?” he asks.
“Um…”
“I mean if you too busy, I understand.”
“I’m not too busy. Of course I’ll have coffee with you.” I smile.
He smiles too. It’s nice to see. I’ve missed his lovely smile.
I’ve missed him. I just didn’t realise how much until now.
“Shall we go to Callo’s?” he asks.
“Yes, lets.”
We walk side by side in relative silence for the five minute walk to Callo’s.
When we arrive, Will holds the door open for me. I walk into the café, the aroma of coffee hitting me straight away, and memories, so many memories.
This was our place. We always had lunch together here.
It’s sad being here with him now, like this, apart. I guess I never thought there would be a day that I would ever be without Will.
As it’s early Callo’s is empty, only Will and I here, so we get a small table by the window and order two lattes.
“Are you not in work today?” I ask, at a vain attempt in small talk, while we wait for our drinks.
“No,” he shakes his head. “I took a little time off after I got back from Paris – you know.”
I bite my lip. I can feel tears forming in my eyes, but I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t deserve the right to cry.
I knot my fingers on the table in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I say, “I’m so sorry, Will. For everything. For the pain I’ve caused you”
He meets my eyes, and all I can see in them is hurt. And I can’t help the tear that escapes from my eye.