Reaching for my shirt, he rips it open. The buttons scatter, pinging across the piano, hitting the floor.

Jake pushes the shirt down my arms. Taking over, I free it, tossing it aside.

His hand moves over my breast, tracing the edge of the cup of my bra. He runs his finger in and over the tip of my nipple. The gentle contact makes me gasp.

His hand leaves me, only to push his pyjama bottoms down, freeing his erection.

He nudges it against my sex, his eyes burning into mine, filled with a hurt I don’t understand.

“Jake…,” I whisper, but he cuts me off, crushing his mouth to mine. He tears my panties off and thrusts his hungry cock inside me.

I cry out in pleasure at the sudden invasion. Jake grabs a tight hold of my hips, pinning me where he wants me, and he starts fucking me. His mouth on my neck, teeth biting, tongue licking, soothing.

With each hard thrust, the keys on the piano groan their own frustrated, chaotic chord. I can feel him trying to get deeper in me, pushing against me, almost desperate to find his escape, while my sounds of pleasure echo around the library.

“Lie back,” he growls in my ear.

My bare back hits the cool piano at his command. I can barely feel the chill because I’m so absolutely taken with Jake. Watching the hunger and need for me that’s consuming him in this moment. There is only him and me. We’re our own island, and nothing and no one can touch us. And I know it’s exactly where he needs to be right now.

Jake lifts my legs higher, pulling me closer, and the instant he touches the spot in me that only he can, an orgasm tears through me.

But Jake’s not done, as he continues to chase his own climax, fucking me, hard and rough. His teeth grit, jaw clenches, eyes burning with hunger, the moonlight silhouetting him, and in this moment he has never looked more sexy to me.

When he meets his moment, throwing his head back, his face tight in release, he drives his orgasm out, hips jerking against me, pumping himself into me, and I come again, pulsing tightly around his cock.

“Fuck,” he says as my muscles relax around him, us both trying to catch our breath.

He leans down, resting his chest against me. His head on my breasts, he stays inside me.

I trace my finger around the shell of his ear, listening to his shallow breaths, feeling the lingering frustration in him like it’s my own.

“Talk to me,” I murmur.

He lifts his head, resting his chin on my breast. He stares into my eyes.

“Let’s go to bed.” Rising, he pulls out of me carefully.

Jake reaches a hand to me and eases me off the piano. He keeps hold of my hand all the way back to our bedroom.

Removing the clothes I’m left with—my bra, skirt, and hold-ups—I grab one of Jake’s T-shirts from the wardrobe and put it on.

When I return, he’s already in bed, so I climb in beside him and snuggle up to his warm, hard body.

He exhales heavily, and I feel his hot breath brush over my skin.

“Jonny’s mom called while you were out.”

So this is what’s eating at him. This is why he just fucked me so desperately on the piano.

I tilt my head back to him. “What did she want?”

He rubs his hand over his hair, and stares up at the dark ceiling. “She saw the press release about Smith joining the band.”

“Oh.”

His eyes meet mine in the darkness. “I hadn’t called to tell her it was happening.”

“How did she take it?”

“She yelled. She cried. She’s hurt, and she has a right to be. I fucked up. I should have told her. I didn’t think. I hate that I didn’t. I feel like such a fuckin’ bastard.” He shakes his head. “She said I’m heartless and selfish…”

“No, Jake, no…”

“She’s right. I am. But she said…” He takes a shaky breath. “She said I was replacing Jonny. That I’d forgotten about him. That putting Smith in the band is erasing Jonny from it, that I’m acting like he never existed. She said Jonny would never have done that if it had been me who had died. And she’s right. He wouldn’t have.”

“That’s bullshit.” I move around onto my front so I can talk directly to him. “She’s wrong.”

I’m trembling on the inside with the anger I feel. I know she lost her son and is grieving, but she has no right to hurt Jake this way.

“I don’t think she is, Tru.” He shakes his head again, looking away. “But I haven’t forgotten him.” His voice is so quiet, as his eyes return to mine. “How could I? But I’ve just been so happy with you and the baby…when I asked Smith to become a permanent member, it was purely a business decision. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. Least of all Jonny’s parents. But I should have called.”

Sitting up, I straddle his waist and trap his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me. I can see the hurt glistening in his eyes, and it makes every fibre of me ache.

“You listen to me, Jake Wethers. You haven’t got a malicious bone in your body. Yes, you made a mistake by not calling, but I think even if you had called, she would have reacted the same. She lost her son and she’s still angry and hurting about that. But she’s wrong when she says that you’re replacing Jonny. You’re not. If you’d forgotten him, then the show you’re doing next week to officially bring Smith into the band, well, you wouldn’t be donating the proceeds to a charity that provides support to people affected by car accidents, and their families, would you? You’re just doing what’s right for the band now. That’s what Jonny would want, and would have done, if he was in your shoes.”

Jake’s chest expands on a breath. He closes his eyes, his head gently shaking.

I know I’m not reaching him. This isn’t going to fix it for him. I know it’ll eat away at him. That’s Jake. The Jake only I know.


“Why don’t you go see her to talk it through in person? It’s always better face-to-face than on the telephone. Sometimes you just need to see the person’s face, you know?”

“She’s in New York.”

“It’s a few hours on a plane.”

“Six. And I’ve got meetings tomorrow.”

“Rearrange them. Going out there will show her you care. I’ll come with you if you want. We can stay in a hotel, spend some time with his mum and dad.”

“You’d do that for me?”

I look down at him, surprised. “I’d do anything for you, Jake. Don’t you know that by now?”

He presses his hands against my stomach, moving them outward, settling on my waist. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Tru.”

“I know.” I lie down on him and love the feel of his arms as they come around me, holding me tight to him. “I love you too.” I kiss his biceps. “So we’re going to New York tomorrow?”

“We’re going to New York tomorrow.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I’m standing side stage at the Wiltern Theater in West LA with Stuart, Carly, and Dave. The guys are onstage playing. This is their welcoming gig for Smith.

It’s a small show with only two thousand fans. The tickets were expensive, so this show is seating only hard-core TMS fans. There are quite a few celebrities here as well. Yes, I am feeling starstruck by some of them.

All the proceeds from tonight are going to a charity for the victims of road accidents. It’s an important charity to Jake because of how Jonny died.

I think this is his way of letting himself feel okay about Smith being a permanent fixture in TMS now.

We went to see Lyn and Bob, Jonny’s mum and dad, last week in New York. I’m so glad we did.

Jake made his peace with Lyn. Their talk was long overdue, and something they both needed.

I spent time chatting with Bob in the kitchen while Jake and Lyn talked in the living room. Such a nice man. He regaled me with stories of the things Jake and Jonny used to get up to when they were teenagers. They were bad boys with good hearts. That’s exactly what Jake still is.

Bob also makes the best tea known to man, and he fed me Lyn’s homemade biscuits. I have seriously never tasted a biscuit as good.

After we left Lyn and Bob’s, Jake and I visited Jonny’s grave at Woodlawn Cemetery, at my suggestion.

He was reluctant, but I knew he needed to. The last time he’d been there was for the funeral.

I left Jake alone with Jonny for a time and took a walk. It’s a beautiful place. Peaceful, as a place like that should be.

After the visit, I could feel Jake’s relief. He seemed freer, and I knew I had done the right thing by encouraging him to go.

We stayed in New York for a few days, shopping and going out for dinner. It was relaxing, and I enjoyed every minute of being there with him. Then again, I could be in a dump with Jake and still be happy.

The only unfortunate thing about our trip was that Susie and Dale were away on holiday, as we could have visited them too. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I think the visit with Lyn and Bob was all Jake could handle at that point.

Jake has ongoing issues with his mum, and that’s my next goal—to help fix them. I’m hoping Christmas will be just the right time. I want everyone right before our baby arrives.

As it’s a special show, the guys are playing a few unreleased songs from the new album, which is scheduled for release next autumn. I know what a new album means: it means touring.

And our baby is due in July.

I don’t want Jake to delay the album release. This isn’t just about him and me and our life. It’s about Tom, Denny, and Smith too. We’re going to have to figure out what to do. But something tells me I’m going to be going on tour with a newborn next year.

At the moment, I’m not thinking about that. I’m just enjoying the here and now.

And right now life is amazing.

I scan the packed theatre, watching the crowd singing along as Jake belts out one of their more recent tracks, “Revved.”

The crowd is pumped. The guys are bouncing off each other brilliantly. Jake is in top form, vocally. Tom is playing his bass like he’s about to have sex with it any minute. Denny is on fire behind the drums, and Smith is finally relaxed. I’m finally seeing that big Southern personality of his, up here on the stage.

Smith has found his place among them now, and I’m so happy for him. He deserves it.

I see how proud Carly is by the look on her face.

I turn to watch Jake sing. He is dripping sex, hands around the microphone, lips singing the words like he’s making love to them. My panties are damp just watching him.

He’s mine. That stunningly talented, beautiful man is all mine.

I run my fingers over my tummy and whisper to the baby, “You hear that? That’s your daddy up there singing.”

As I lift my eyes, I catch Stuart watching me, smiling.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to his side. “He’s doing good, huh?” He nods in the direction of Jake.

“Yep,” I say, smiling. “He’s on fire tonight.”

I can’t wait to get him naked later.

My libido is set to high now that I’m pregnant. We’ve been having sex everywhere. Whenever and wherever we can.



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