Which didn’t necessarily mean Jeff would have rushed out to tell them bad news, Cole thought. He remembered months ago, Dena talking to him about her miscarriage. The loss of that baby had served as the catalyst in ending her relationship with Jeff. But the couple was stronger now and recently married.
And yet couples split up all the time over much smaller issues.
The room fell into silence, and even when Kelly arrived, there were only nods of acknowledgment exchanged. Sasha’s magazine sat discarded on the floor. Abby looked out the window, with Nathaniel by her side. Julie rocked slightly and Kelly paced.
They all nearly jumped when the door opened and a tousled-looking but smiling Jeff stepped inside.
“They’re both okay.” He wiped a tear away. “Ultrasound showed the baby is perfect.”
Everyone started talking at once and Jeff held his hands up. “Hold on. Wait a minute. They’re not completely out of the woods. There’s an issue with the placenta, so Dena’s on bed rest for the foreseeable future. And we’re staying overnight, just as a precaution because of our history.”
“Can we see her?” Sasha asked.
Jeff nodded. “They’ll let two people at a time go back. Why don’t you and Julie go see her?”
The two ladies went back to see Dena while Daniel gave Jeff a silent hug. Cole felt strangely out of place. It was an odd and unexpected feeling. He was used to infiltrating and fitting in any number of out-of-the-way or exotic locations. Yet here in a Wilmington, Delaware, hospital, he may as well have been on the moon.
The uneasiness lasted all the way back to his house, even with Sasha chatting away about Dena, how nice it was to see everyone, and pregnancy in general. The pregnancy chatter didn’t ease his mind. It only brought back the arguments he’d had with Kate.
She seemed to pick up on his mood not far from the house. Her chatter slowed a little before ceasing completely. By the time they pulled into his driveway, she was silently gazing out the window.
Though it had been afternoon when they left, the sun had long since set at their return. Sasha quietly entered the house, looking back over her shoulder expectantly.
Damn. They were supposed to talk.
He sighed. “All things considered, Sasha, it’s been a very trying afternoon and evening. I think it’d be for the best if we postponed our discussion until tomorrow.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“And I have work to catch up on. You can go on to bed. No need to wait up.”
She gave him a resigned nod and simply said, “Good night, Sir,” before heading up the stairs.
Cole watched her make her way upstairs and down the hall. Then he turned toward his office, where he knew no work would get done.
• • •Sasha rolled over and peeked at the clock on Cole’s nightstand. Two. She punched her pillow. And he hadn’t made it upstairs yet.
Something had happened at the hospital. The man who drove her home wasn’t the same one who had driven her there. It made sense he wanted to wait until the next day to talk. But the part of her that dreaded the conversation wanted to get it over with now.
If they didn’t talk soon, she wasn’t sure she’d have the determination to say and do what she needed to.
She’d had the realization at tea. When Evan had spoken to her the way he had, she flinched away. Even William with his kind smile hadn’t been enough to sway her. She only wanted one man, one Master, one Sir. She only felt safe with Cole. Only Cole could ignite the submissive within her.
In other words, the retraining was an utter failure.
Should she tell him? Or would that lead him to bring in other Doms for her training? She didn’t want that. Maybe she wouldn’t tell him.
So far in the training, all he’d been able to do was ease her into trusting him. Submitting to him. If she reacted the way she did to Evan and William with Cole right next to her, how much worse would her reactions be without him there?
Today’s tea party showed her she still had work to do when it came to submission. Cole had given her the tools to use—she just needed to work with those tools on a practical level. And, though she didn’t want to admit it, without Cole nearby.
She didn’t want to think about leaving Cole. Everything felt so right when she was with him. The way he cared for her, looked out for her, pleasured her, and, hell, even the way he punished her. She had a nagging suspicion that no Dom would ever live up to the high bar he’d set.
She kicked the sheets off her body. The bed just didn’t feel right without him in it. Taking his pillow and hugging it tightly to her chest, she inhaled the comforting scent of him and fell into a listless sleep.
Though it felt like mere minutes, when she cracked an eye open, the clock read seven thirty. She stretched her arms above her head and decided she liked the soreness that followed an intense night of play over the achy stiffness insomnia brought. She also liked waking up next to Cole, but considering the untouched appearance of his side of the bed, he’d never made it upstairs.
He didn’t come to her while she was meditating. When he first gave her instructions on meditating, he’d told her to kneel for fifteen minutes or until he came for her. Every morning before this one, he’d come for her. She stayed in place for twenty minutes just to be sure. By then she could no longer pretend she just needed to wait a bit longer. He wasn’t coming this morning.
She rose slowly and saw he hadn’t laid any clothes out for her, so after a quick shower, she walked down the stairs, naked, and found him out on the patio, reading.
She knelt at his feet. “Good morning, Sir.”
Her chest ached, knowing there probably weren’t going to be many more times she greeted him in such a manner. She closed her eyes and waited for him to stroke her head, but the touch never came.
“We need to talk, Sasha. But you need to get dressed and eat first.”
His words didn’t surprise her. Over the last two weeks, she’d quickly learned that their emotions and thoughts ran in parallel. From all appearances, he was experiencing the same doubts she had.
Five minutes later, she was dressed and back on the patio with him. He’d cooked her a bowl of oatmeal and topped it with the dried cranberries and walnuts she loved so much. Tears filled her eyes. He always thought of everything and missed nothing.
She wasn’t hungry and played with her oatmeal instead of eating. Did she tell him she now realized the retraining hadn’t done any good? She put the spoon down with a sigh.