'Why,' says I, 'if you can get any woman you like to take your word, I

suppose your wife would not dispute the liberty with you that she takes

herself.' 'Ay,' says he, 'but 'twould be hard to bring an honest woman to do

that; and for the other sort,' says he, 'I have had enough of her to

meddle with any more whores.' It occurred to me presently, 'I would have taken your word with all my

heart, if you had but asked me the question'; but that was to myself.

To him I replied, 'Why, you shut the door against any honest woman

accepting you, for you condemn all that should venture upon you at

once, and conclude, that really a woman that takes you now can't be

honest.' 'Why,' says he, 'I wish you would satisfy me that an honest woman would

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take me; I'd venture it'; and then turns short upon me, 'Will you take

me, madam?' 'That's not a fair question,' says I, 'after what you have said;

however, lest you should think I wait only for a recantation of it, I

shall answer you plainly, No, not I; my business is of another kind

with you, and I did not expect you would have turned my serious

application to you, in my own distracted case, into a comedy.' 'Why, madam,' says he, 'my case is as distracted as yours can be, and I

stand in as much need of advice as you do, for I think if I have not

relief somewhere, I shall be made myself, and I know not what course to

take, I protest to you.' 'Why, sir,' says I, ''tis easy to give advice in your case, much easier

than it is in mine.' 'Speak then,' says he, 'I beg of you, for now you

encourage me.' 'Why,' says I, 'if your case is so plain as you say it is, you may be

legally divorced, and then you may find honest women enough to ask the

question of fairly; the sex is not so scarce that you can want a wife.' 'Well, then,' said he, 'I am in earnest; I'll take your advice; but

shall I ask you one question seriously beforehand?' 'Any question,' said I, 'but that you did before.' 'No, that answer will not do,' said he, 'for, in short, that is the

question I shall ask.' 'You may ask what questions you please, but you have my answer to that

already,' said I. 'Besides, sir,' said I, 'can you think so ill of me

as that I would give any answer to such a question beforehand? Can any

woman alive believe you in earnest, or think you design anything but to

banter her?' 'Well, well,' says he, 'I do not banter you, I am in earnest; consider

of it.' 'But, sir,' says I, a little gravely, 'I came to you about my own

business; I beg of you to let me know, what you will advise me to do?' 'I will be prepared,' says he, 'against you come again.' 'Nay,' says I, 'you have forbid my coming any more.' 'Why so?' said he, and looked a little surprised.




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