My heart began to thud heavily. "Robbie, what-"
"You shall be ready to depart at daybreak, with yours and your servant's baggage," he said.
My mouth dropped. "Daybreak?" I said.
"Goodnight, madam, sir," said Robbie, bowing again, and then he turned on his heel and walked out of the house.
I said goodnight to Mr. Randall and went slowly up the stairs. When I entered the bedroom, Rabbit was busy packing clothes into trunks.
I had left Gillean with nothing-no clothes, no toiletries. Now I saw that Mrs. Randall had provided me with everything I could possibly need for at least a year; hairpins, handkerchiefs, pomades, powder. Shifts and stays and stockings. All things that had been left behind when Cathy left home for Grant's Hill. I thought of my closets at Gillean, all the gowns that my mother and I had purchased on our trips to Charles Town, my ribbons, my jewelry. Now I was to wear cast-off clothing, my only ornament my wedding ring.
I looked around the room. I knew that I would not sleep. I wanted to speak to Robbie. I wondered if he would come into the house later, or sleep in a guest house or the barns, as he had often done with Sean and Kevin when August and I had stayed with Cathy.
I went down the stairs and out onto the back terrace. The moon had waned, and the night was very dark. I walked down the lawn toward the swamp and along the edge until I reached the creek that flowed down from the fields. I went up from there, toward the guesthouses, which were situated along the creek.
A light was burning on the porch of the first house; and as I drew closer I saw Robbie sitting in a rocking chair, his legs stretched before him, a glass in his hand. I approached the steps, and called his name.
"Ah, Mrs. Stewart," he said, looking at me. "Are you restless this evening?"
I climbed the steps and stood before him. "You would have me ready to depart before the sun is up? In my condition?"
He smiled up at me, his eyes heavy. "You have already taken much hardship, in your condition," he said. "I am confident that you will travel well."
"Are you indeed?" I said, wanting to be angry, but then I said, "Oh, Robbie, why do you ignore me?"
"Ignore you, Jessie? Have you no inkling as to what I've been doing these past days?"