My throat locked up so Brandon answered for me, “We do. We think it's important for him to know.”
Mom nodded while Bree handed us a large scrapbook. “If for whatever reason you didn't, that would be fine, no one would blame you for that. But in case you do, we made this so you could show Liam who Chase was, instead of just telling him stories.”
Brandon sat the book on his lap and opened it, so the top was on mine. I gasped as we flipped through page after page of Chase. Pictures from right after he was born, to funny toddler, first day of school to sports and first time surfing. Watching him grow up right before my eyes was incredible, and as we neared the end, tears started falling down my face. This was the Chase I had known. The tall handsome tatted up artist. There were pictures of all the guys at the house he had rented for his friends to live in over the last two years, pictures of him and Bree, ones of him at the shop, and pictures of us together at the end. The first was on my birthday after Chase and I had come back downstairs. He was standing behind me, holding the picture of my second ultrasound on top of where my small bump had been and I had my neck craned up so we could kiss. A second was of us sitting on the tailgate of his truck with Bree and Konrad at the beach one day. The last two were hard for me, but I was so thankful they were in there. One was after Chase's last class of college, we had our arms wrapped around each other and foreheads pressed together. The next was of the last full night of his life, we were standing outside Mom and Dad's talking. I remember that conversation perfectly, he was giving me reasons for him not to go to the party, and I was standing my ground telling him he had to go. I hadn't even known someone took a picture of us, but it was beautiful. The sun was setting behind us, Chase was kneeling on the driveway and I was laughing while running my hands through his shaggy blond hair. He was holding my stomach with his face close enough that his nose was touching my belly button. Chase kept saying that if Gummy Bear kicked for him, he wasn't going to the party, so Chase had continued to talk to my belly, hoping the baby would wake up. But he hadn't and eventually Chase had left. That had been our last happy time together.
When we shut the book, Brandon turned to me and ran his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping the tears away and pressed a soft kiss to each cheek. He stood up and walked to the other side of the room, pulling Mom out of her chair, he wrapped his big arms around her and thanked her while she cried. This was one of the many reasons why I loved him. Beyond the tough guy exterior, was the most gentle and caring heart. What Chase and I had done had ultimately crushed Brandon. He had quietly stepped aside when he found out instead of taking it out on either of us. He had been there for me when I thought Chase broke my heart, and had helped me out of my catatonic mourning period when he died. He loved me and my baby, despite the mistakes I had made, and was now holding and thanking Chase's mother for a book to help us tell Liam stories of “how great his dad was”, as Brandon had put it that day. After Mom finished crying, I hugged her tightly while Brandon hugged Bree, Dad and Konrad.
“Brandon,” Mom croaked and cleared her throat, “I hope you know how much we love you too. We're so happy that you and Harper are together, we couldn't imagine her with anyone else. We know you'll take care of her and Liam.”
“I will. Forever.” He vowed.
16
I was uncomfortable. I was tired of no one letting me do anything for myself. I was tired of constantly laying down, and I was just flat out tired. I was so big I felt like I looked like a whale, even though Brandon continuously told me how beautiful I was. He let me complain at all hours of the day, and always smiled at me. I knew he was working hard to hold back his laughter, and I was grateful for it. I knew how ridiculous I was being, I just couldn't seem to stop and if he had laughed, I'd probably snap at him.
We'd had another appointment two weeks ago, and Dr. Lowdry was even more concerned that I wouldn't make it much longer. Per her instructions, we already had the hospital bag packed, the rear facing car seat was already put in my Expedition and I was no longer allowed to help cook. I had the most absurd urge to get on my hands and knees, clean the entire house and go through all the drawers in the nursery to make sure everything was where I wanted it. Again. Of course I wasn't allowed, so I laid on the couch, and grumbled to myself or talked to my little Liam.
Brandon had started school again almost three weeks ago, but thankfully he'd talked to his academic adviser before the semester started and found out he only needed to take two more classes and he'd be able to graduate in December, a week before our wedding. He was absolutely amazing, he was always getting me anything I needed, and things I hadn't even thought to ask for. When he was at school, he made sure Carrie or Mom were here to keep me company because he knew how stir crazy I was getting. The only problem was the numerous fights he was doing. He'd told Crow once the baby was born he was going to take a couple months off from fighting, and even though we had more than enough money to get us by for a few years, he was doing fights every other night anywhere from LA to San Diego to save up as much as possible. I couldn't complain too much, he'd made over ten grand last week alone, but I didn't like the fights anyway, and he only let me come with everyone if it was going to be a lame match. He was afraid of the crowds with the bigger fights, so more often than not, I sat on the bed freaking out until he called to tell me he'd won.
He had dropped me off at Mom's this morning, so I could go to lunch and have a pedicure with her and Bree, and picked me back up for my thirty-six week appointment. Like I said, they wouldn't let me do anything for myself anymore. No driving and no painting my own toes, not like I usually did them or could reach them anyway, but still. I wasn't allowed.
“Well Harper, things look great, as does he. Continue to hold off on almost all activities and lets cross our fingers that you last at least another week. You'll technically be considered full term by then, but really he would be fine if he came out now. I want to start seeing you once a week now, though I don't know how many more appointments we'll get out of him.” Dr. Lowdry's smile was warm as she spoke. “Are you both ready? Do you have any questions or concerns? Are you familiar with the hospital?”
“We took the tour and all of that earlier this week, and I don't think I have any questions. I'm just ready for him to be here. I don't sleep at all.”
Dr. Lowdry laughed and patted my leg, “That's common to be uncomfortable, just think of it as your baby preparing you for waking up all hours of the night.” She laughed again. “Brandon, what about you?”
“I think I'm good, I'm just worried she's going to go into labor and I'm not going to be at the house.” He gripped my thigh, “I don't want her to be alone when that happens.”
“I understand, but even if you aren't, most women won't have the baby for hours after their water breaks, so you'll have plenty of time to get to her and bring her to the hospital.”
He nodded, but I knew that didn't help much. Every time he left for a fight he would tell Liam if he had to come into the world that night, at least wait until he was back from the fight. Brandon wouldn't even say hi to me when he called afterward, first thing out of his mouth was always, “I love you. Did anything happen? How are you feeling?” If I wasn't so afraid he'd come home with a broken something or other, I would laugh at him for simultaneously kicking the crap out of people and being terrified his fiancée was about to go into labor.
“Well!” Dr. Lowdry stood and gave me a hug, “If anything happens or you need anything at all, just call me. If not, I'll see you both in a week.”
We thanked her and headed home for another fun filled night on the couch. Okay, I really needed to stop whining. Things could be so much worse. Brandon could not care, or he could be irritated with my moods, or worse, he could not be here at all. And I loved our nights at home, after dinner he would prop my feet up on his lap and rub them until the swelling went down. After, he would crawl next to me and press me close to his chest just so he could hold me while we watched TV. Like I said, he's amazing. I've just been super irritable lately.
“Brandon? Do you think we could do something tonight? Like maybe just go for a drive, or go to the beach? I'm not ready to be cooped up in the house again.”
He bit the inside of his cheek and looked at me for a few seconds before reversing out of our driveway we'd just arrived in. “As long as you promise to tell me if you get tired.”
I was already wide awake and practically bouncing in my seat knowing we were going somewhere, anywhere. “Promise! Where are we going?”
“Well it's your night, where do you want to go?”
“Beach and Pinkberry.” Seriously, I had frozen yogurt or ice cream every day now. It was bad.
Brandon's husky laugh gave me goose bumps and I couldn't help but smile just listening to it, “Beach and Pinkberry it is.”
He pulled the blanket out of the back of his Jeep and walked me towards the shore before laying it down and sitting me between his legs, my back pressed against him. After rolling my shirt up over my stomach, he started tracing delicate patterns on me. Liam instantly started wiggling as soon as Brandon's hands were on my bare skin.
“I'm so excited to meet him,” His deep voice filled my body, “but I'm going to miss this. You're the most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen Harper.”
I sighed and molded my body to his even more, “Have I told you how amazing you are and how much I love you recently?”
“I love you too.” He brushed my hair away and pressed his lips to my neck. “What are you most excited for?”
“Watching you teach him things. Like how to throw a ball and surf…” I said quickly, I thought about that all day long. “You?”
“Everything.”
“That's not fair babe! You have to say something.”
He thought for a minute, “I want to see you hold him.”