I don't want that to happen. I've felt trapped between wanting to take him up on his offer of dinner, fully knowing how easy it'll be for our relationship to slide into something more, and telling him to stop asking all together to save myself some heartache when he gets tired of me telling him no.
That he'd wait for me without knowing much about me isn't something I expected. It's more proof of how amazing he is. Every smile of his, every wink, are breadcrumbs into the forest leading me a little deeper, no matter how much I try to resist.
"Do you have homework?" Todd asks when I emerge from my bedroom, referring to Anton's projects.
"Not tonight." Petr's dad comes to the diner two to three times a week with new projects. They're pretty fun, a nice challenge that reminds me why I got into graphic design in the first place.
He always comes with Petr, except for one time this past week, when he came alone in the afternoon with another folder full of pictures.
This project I understand. He asked me to create a collage of family pictures from when his three kids were young. The honor isn't lost on me, and his request for secrecy has kept me from sharing the project with Petr or Todd. Every night since then, I've sneaked peeks at the pictures of the twin brothers and their gorgeous little sister, Katya. I can't tell Mikael and Petr apart in most of them, unless they're labeled. The old family photos are in great shape, a sign of their value to their father.
What's clear: the family is close knit and happy. I yearn to know what that feels like, to stop running, to be able to call my mom or visit her without fearing discovery by The Monster.
"Is the chili ready?" I ask, hungry.
"Yeah."
I fetch us both bowls full of the hearty soup and return to my room, closing the door halfway so I can work on my ancient laptop on Anton's secret project for a few hours before heading to bed.
"We're having a Christmas party Thursday. Festivities start Wednesday around noon."
The next morning, I glance up at Petr's words and meet his blue gaze. Every time I look at him, it's a little harder to turn away. My world seems to hold still when we gaze at each other like this.
"Open invitation for you and Todd," Petr finishes.
That's all I need. To be reminded at a Christmas party of everything I can't give Todd.
"I'll think about it," I murmur. "Thank you for asking."