It begins to sink in that Petr is like no one I've ever met before, that I might already be in deeper than I thought possible.
"Okay, good," he says softly. "I didn't scare you off this time."
"You did," I assure him.
We gaze at each other in the quiet. His direct look stirs up more than I want it to, a combination of admiration and physical attraction. I'm afraid of what's already between us and more so of what it could quickly become, if I don't prevent it.
"Petr … I can't." The words are nearly painful to say.
"Yes, you can. Every once in a while, you just have to take a chance and fall."
"It's not the fall I'm afraid of. It's the landing."
"Easy. I'll catch you."
I duck my head and lick my lips, torn between wanting to be in his arms and packing up my apartment to leave town. I can't explain why I shouldn't be here … can't summon a rejection when I've never been so drawn to, or comfortable with, someone in my life. I'm paralyzed, trapped between the past I'm trying to escape and the future I doubt exists.
"Stop thinking, Claudia. Sometimes what you feel is the real truth."
It feels like my world is crumbling.
I know it's not. I know this is one tiny barrier between me and a man who is everything I've never known in the world - and everything I can imagine wanting. Is this part of my punishment? Meeting Petr and knowing I can't ever have anything with him?
Lost in my thoughts, I'm aware of little more than the heat of his solid frame and the crackle of the fire.
He tilts my chin up. Before I can register his blue eyes, his soft lips are pressed to mine.
If anything has ever surprised me, it's the fact I not only don't freak out, but I have no desire to, either. I can't. This feels …
Natural. Familiar. So good, I feel I've never known real pleasure before the simple kiss.
His palm slides to cup the back of my neck, and I rest mine on his stubble-roughened cheek. His full lips are warm, the pressure gentle. He's testing my response, as if he's aware I've been ready to escape since I arrived. His tongue slides between my lips twice before I open and give him access to my mouth.
His taste - coffee, gingerbread and his own distinct flavor - melts more of my resolve. We take it slowly, savoring one another, exploring each other with the same hesitant back and forth that have marked our relationship up 'til now. My blood, already heated by the contact of our bodies, is soon racing with renewed urgency and desire.