Not fucking her when I had the chance.
You're an idiot, Sawyer. I know stopping was the right thing to do. I'm not ready for a relationship. Katya isn't the kind who wants anything to do with a military boyfriend - or the military. She deserves more than a one-night stand, and I'm not about to disrespect her brothers by sleeping with their sister.
Sometimes being honorable sucks.
I can't get over how different she was with me. Sweet, caring, gentle. Talking and holding me when I know she hates me.
Restless and frustrated by the thoughts, I ease out from under her. She's a deep sleeper, hard to wake up from what I've learned the past couple of days. I get dressed then shake her gently.
"Katya, time to get up."
She grumbles and rolls away.
"Katya!"
We've got half an hour before breakfast. I know how long it takes her to get ready and gaze at her, debating.
She's adorable, her hair everywhere and a sleepy frown on her face. In the grainy light of dawn seeping into the tent, her cheek appears bruised. I lean forward, hoping I didn't hit her in my sleep.
Definitely bruised. Fuck me. I'm gonna love explaining to Petr why his sister was in my sleeping bag.
"I'll give you five minutes," I tell her and stand.
It's chilly and cloudy outside the tent. After a quick trip to the restroom, I'm intercepted by Carson, the other Green Beret on my team. He's got a country twang and the polite manners to match. A lot of people underestimate him, because he comes across as a simple farm boy. Close to Riley's size, he's over six feet tall with a shaved head and dark eyes.
He holds out a mug wordlessly.
"Thanks."
"Think they'll let us take the tent back with us?" he asks.
"I wish."
He's the quietest on the team, so I'm not surprised that he doesn't feel the need to chat the way Riley likes to. I stand with him, gazing into the quiet forest. The coffee warms me from the inside out, and I let myself enjoy the peaceful morning. It smells like rain and …
Katya. Her scent is all over me. It both arouses and irritates me.
"Captain Mathis?" Jacob and Morgan circle us. They're up and dressed, for which I credit Riley. Jacob has his collection of spiders in a clear food storage dish.
"Can we have bacon?" Morgan asks.
It's the first time I've heard her talk. I shouldn't be surprised it's about the food. They've obediently eaten everything Katya planned.
"Please?" Jacob added. "It's French toast day!"