“Boring!” she gasped, glaring up at him.
“That's right.” He leaned into her personal space. “Your ears are working fine. I said boring. Want me to spell it, too?”
“You wanting me to scratch out your eyes and eat them?”
He flashed a smug grin. “Still desperate for a piece of me, are you?”
“Why you little—”
“Come on, Erik,” he said, cutting her off. “I need a shot of caffeine to wake me up. Kitten almost put me to sleep.” Without another word, the two boys were off. Bradley practically had to drag poor Erik, though, who kept throwing glances at Cara over his shoulder.
“I'll kill him,” Kitten growled. “Kill him!”
“Why didn't you have a drink with him?” Cara demanded, stomping her foot. “I wasn't done talking to Erik.”
“If Erik had wanted to talk to you, girlie, he would have stayed,” Kitten bit out. Her eyes watched Bradley as he approached another group of girls. She hissed under her breath. “A player. I knew it. And I am not boring!”
“Why don't you just admit it. You wanted a piece of Bradley,” I said.
She snorted and turned away from the boys. “As if.”
I shook my head—and from the corner of my eye I spotted Ryan standing in the doorway. I gulped. “Uh, listen, I need a moment…away from the crowd.”
“Want me to come with?”
“Nah.” Just seeing him for that brief second, my blood was too hot. My limbs were shaky. My airways were constricted. “Stay here. Have fun. I'll be back soon.” As I walked to the door, I saw that he was gone. Where was he?
I stepped out, searching…searching…
“Not your kind of party?”
Gasping, I straightened. He stepped from the shadows. Seeing him again, I actually ached. “Going to the party?”
“No. Not my turn to chaperone.” He paused. His head tilted to the side as he studied me. “Want to walk with me? Talk?”
Not a question that needed consideration. I nodded and stepped to his side. His pine scent hit me, and his hand brushed mine. Goose bumps broke out over my skin. I should have been used to them by now. We started forward, the only two people in the hall.
Why did the things that were wrong always feel so good?
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked to fill the silence.
“Why don't you tell me about your last boyfriend,” he said, eyes remaining straight ahead.
I almost choked. No way did I want to discuss my stupid decisions. “Why don't you tell me about your last girlfriend?”
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “We didn't last long. She was a civilian and resented all the time I spent here. Your turn.”
Fine. “He was four years older than me. I met him in rehab, but he hadn't been ready to stop using. I almost let him convince me to fly again—just one more. One more. Yeah, right.”
Mom said I went for older boys because I was looking for a father figure. Anything to make up for the way my dad had abandoned us. But surely I was smarter now. Wiser.
That's why I'm crushing on Ryan, huh? Because I'm smarter?
“You didn't use, though,” he said, “and that's what's important.”
“Not dating losers is equally important, but I ignored that little bit of wisdom.”
Ryan chuckled. We hit the end of the hallway and turned around, heading back to the party. “What's been your favorite part of camp so far?”
Honestly? “Your class.” The demonstration, to be precise.
“You sucking up to the teacher?”
“If I wanted to suck up to the teacher, I wouldn't have punched him in the face.”
His grin widened. “True.”
Though we'd slowed our steps, we reached the doors all too soon. I wanted to go again, but he said, “Phoenix,” and stopped. Looked at me. “You still unsure about staying?”
I gazed down at my boots. “I'd like to stay, but I feel like everyone's just waiting to kick me out.” I couldn't help myself; I moved closer to him. He didn't back away. So badly I wanted to kiss him, and I didn't care about the rules. I just wanted his tongue in my mouth.
But as we looked at each other, a trio of boys laughingly stumbled from the room. Ryan and I jumped guiltily apart. Would he have let me? If we hadn't been interrupted, would he have let me kiss him?
“If you're going to get kicked out, it's always better to go down fighting,” he said, backing away. “It's better to be the one they regret and miss and wonder about than the one they're confident in losing.”
“Maybe.”
“Definitely.”
Disappointment rocked me that he was leaving. “See you around.” He nodded, spun on his heel, and strode off.
“Better to go down fighting,” he'd said. The thought of giving it my all and still failing was frightening. That would be more proof that I was a loser.
Sighing, I shoved open the door and stepped back into the room. The music was just as loud and grinding, and my friends had remained where I'd left them. They smiled as I rejoined them.
“Hey, Phoenix,” a hard voice suddenly said.
“Yes.” I sent my gaze to the speaker. She stood to my left. She was a pretty girl with dark hair, dark eyes. Pissed expression. Allison Stone. Ryan's sister.
“I heard you took Ryan down yesterday,” she said. Her gaze sparkled with challenge.
“Yeah. So?” She'd made her dislike of me clear during my interview, so I wasn't going to waste my time being nice to her. “What are you doing at a party for trainees?”
She grinned with relish. “I'm the chaperone.”
Six of her friends lined up beside her. They crossed their arms over their chests one after the other. “So,” Allison said with a smug edge, “I think you think you're better than us.”
“Think? Good one.” Kitten moved to my side. She studied her elongated claws and purred low in her throat. “I don't know where you get your info, but you're wrong. She doesn't think it; she knows it. We know it.”
Fury blazed over Allison's features. “Why don't you prove it, then, weakling?” She reached out and pushed me.
I stumbled backward a few steps. When I righted, I ran my tongue over my teeth. Oh, no, no, no. We weren't going to play this game. There would be no pushing me around. But fighting with her wasn't an option. It was against the rules. I could be kicked out. She wouldn't. Boss was her dad. I bet Allison could murder me and not get in trouble. Still.