Minutes later, the jolly Christmas music ceased, and an announcement blared over the loudspeaker that everyone needed to evacuate the mall immediately. Stampedes of shoppers headed toward the exit. As if on cue, the elves emerged from the gingerbread house. “Did I just hear that the mall was closing?” Cassie asked blearily, staring at the people rushing toward the double doors.
“That’s right,” Mrs. Meriwether said in a perfunctory voice. “Get your things. There’s a bedbug investigation.”
Cassie tucked a lock of white-blond hair behind her ear. “But we still get paid for today, right?”
“I suppose,” Mrs. Meriwether said begrudgingly. “But leave your uniforms here—we’re going to have them specially cleaned tonight. Emily found a bedbug in her Santa beard.”
All four pairs of elf eyes swiveled to Emily, and Emily winked. Lola’s mouth dropped open. Heather let out an incredulous giggle. When Mrs. Meriwether turned her back, Cassie sidled over. “A bedbug in your beard, huh?”
Emily glanced around cagily. “How unlucky, right?”
“Holy shit,” Cassie whispered, grabbing onto Emily’s arm and giving it a squeeze. “You’re awesome!”
“You just saved our ass, Santa,” Lola gushed. “I don’t think I could’ve made it through today. I feel like death.”
Emily removed her Santa hat. “I didn’t really feel like working, either.”
“We should do something to celebrate our unexpected time off,” Cassie said, seemingly revived. She gave the other elves a secret look. After a series of unspoken hand gestures and nods, she turned back to Emily. “And you’re coming with us, Santa.”
“Really?” Emily squeaked, forgetting to play it cool.
“Really.” Cassie linked her arm around Emily’s elbow. “You look like you could use a little fun.”
She pulled Emily toward the exit with the other scratching, panicked shoppers. A few people gave Emily wary sidelong glances, probably wondering why she was smiling so broadly in the face of a bug infestation. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them one bit.
Chapter 10
Take It All Off, Big Boy
“Giant Pooh and Tigger on a sleigh to your right,” Cassie called out a few hours later, jutting a fingerless mitt–clad hand out the slightly rolled-down driver’s-side car window. “And, Jesus, is that Eeyore as the reindeer?”
“Poor guy.” Sophie took a long drag on her cigarette. Emily leaned out the window to get a better look. Sure enough, there was a bluish inflatable donkey pulling the cartoon bear and tiger on a Santa sleigh in someone’s front yard. Eeyore did indeed look miserable.
Emily sank back into the backseat of Cassie’s car, where she was wedged between Lola and Heather. The interior reeked of a mix of cigarette smoke, cinnamon gum, and peppermint candy canes they’d grabbed from the Santa Land wicker basket. They were driving slowly around a neighborhood in West Rosewood, ogling the ostentatious decorations, listening to music, and passing around a flask of rum. Emily felt a nervous buzz in her chest, but it wasn’t because of the alcohol, which she’d tried to avoid as much as possible. It was because of the iPhone nestled in the palm of her hand. Something was going to happen tonight, she could feel it. Before leaving the spa, she’d taught herself how to use the camera function, learning which buttons to press and how to zoom in and out. But part of her wanted to toss it out the window. Or, at the very least, tuck it back into her purse.
“This is where Colin lives.” Cassie pulled to a curb and parked, peering out at a large Dutch Colonial–style house set back in the trees. Christmas lights traced the roofline, and a bunch of reindeer paraded up the long front walk. The windows were dark, and it looked like there was no one home.
“Has he spoken to you since the party?” Heather asked.
“Nope.” Cassie set her jaw.
Lola leaned forward. “Do you want to . . . ?” She trailed off, glancing cagily at Emily.
Cassie rubbed her chin, the blinking Christmas lights flashing across her face. “Nah,” she decided. “He’s not worth it.” Suddenly, she perked up at something in the opposite direction. “But what is that?”
All of the girls followed her gaze to a house across the street. Every window blazed. A ton of cars filled the driveway, and a deep, steady bass line vibrated from within the walls. Silhouettes moved in front of the big bay window, one figure standing out among the others. Someone was gyrating wildly, shaking her hips and butt exhibitionist-style.
“Whoa.” Sophie chewed on the end of one of her braids.
Cassie thrust the door open. “This we have to see.”
She shot across the front yard. Lola, Sophie, and Heather scrambled out of the car, too. “Come on, Santa.” Heather gazed at Emily over her shoulder. “You’re not going to wimp out on us, are you?”
Emily didn’t know what else to do but to follow the other girls up the gently sloping front yard, iPhone in hand. They came to a stop behind a large holly bush and peered through the branches. A strobe light pulsed against the windowpane. A squeal went up as the gyrating person whipped off her shirt and tossed it into the crowd. Emily couldn’t make out too many details, only that the person was wearing a red Santa hat on her head.
“Do you think it’s a bachelor party?” Sophie whispered.
“Maybe it’s just a Christmas party with strippers,” Lola suggested.
“If Colin’s in there, I’ll kill him,” Cassie growled.