Perfect. I vomited on his favourite sofa, and made sure some split to his carpet. He was shouting at the background, and still was, when I walked out of his apartment without a glance back, raising my middle finger as a bye.
I flicked the remaining of the cigarette, still lit, onto the door. Imagining in my head with that symbolic action, I set everything we had on fire and there will be no more.
If you wanna come into my life, the door is open. If you wanna walk out of my life, the door is open. Just do me a favour. Don't stand at the door, you are blocking the traffic.
One week. I allowed myself to deal with the loss of Ingmar for one week. I was never a weak person, I wasn't raised that way. I was neither those who pretend to be strong and hide or ignore my hurts. I dealt with my feelings and let the past be my teacher. No way will I take my own life, nor the life inside of me. Life is more precious than that.
I bought two test kits, of different brands just to be sure, and both confirmed with double lines. I picked myself up and scheduled an appointment with an Ob-gyn.
"Ma'am, the blood test and ultrascan results are conclusive. Uhm... before I proceed, have you any family members or husband with you so that together we can..."