He doesn't understand," Poppy said softly as Jamesunlocked the door to his apartment. "He just hasn'tgrasped that you're risking your life, too."
The apartment was very bare and utilitarian. Highceilings and spacious rooms announced that it wasexpensive, but there wasn't much furniture. In theliving room there was a low, square couch, a desk with a computer, and a couple of Oriental-lookingpictures on the wall. And books. Cardboard boxes of books stacked in the corners.
Poppy turned to face James directly. "Jamie ... Iunderstand."
James smiled at her. He was sweaty and dirty andtired-looking. But his expression said Poppy made it all worthwhile.
"Don't blamePhil,"he said, with a gesture of dismissal. "He's actually handling things pretty well. I've never broken cover to a human before, but I think most of them would run screaming and never come back. He's trying to cope, at least."
Poppy nodded and dropped the subject. James wastired, which meant they should go to sleep. Shepicked up the duffel bag that Phil had packed withher clothes and headed for the bathroom.
She didn't change right away, though. She was toofascinated by her own reflection in the mirror. So this was what a vampire Poppy looked like.
She was prettier, she noted with absent satisfaction. The four freckles on her nose were gone. Herskin was creamy-pale, like an advertisement for facecream. Her eyes were green as jewels. Her hair was wind-blown into riotous curls, metallic-copper.
I don'tlooklike something that sits on a buttercupanymore, she thought. I look wild and dangerous andexotic. Like a model. Like a rock star. Like James.
She leaned forward to examine her teeth, pokingat the canines to make them grow. Then she jerkedback, gasping.
Her eyes. She hadn't realized. Oh, God, no wonderPhil had been scared. When she did that, when herteeth extended, her eyes went silvery-green, uncanny. Like the eyes of a hunting cat.
All at once she was overcome by terror. She hadto cling to the sink to stay on her feet.
I don't want it, I don't wantit....
Oh,dealwith it, girl. Stop whining. So what did you expect to look like, Shirley Temple? You're a hunter now. And your eyes go silver and blood tastes like cherry preserves. And that's all there is to it, andthe other choice was resting in peace. Sodeal.
Gradually her breathing slowed. In the next few minutes something happened inside her;shediddeal.She found ... acceptance. It felt like something giving way in her throat and her stomach. She wasn'tweird and dreamy now, as she'd been when she hadfirst awakened in the cemetery; she could thinkdearly about her situation. And she could accept it.
And I did it without running to James, she thought suddenly, startled. I don't need him to comfort meor tell me it's okay. I canmake it okay, myself.
Maybe that was what happened when you faced the very worst thing in the world. She'd lost herfamily and her old life and maybe even her childhood, but she'd found herself. And that would have to do.
She pulled the white dress over her head andchanged into a T-shirt and sweatpants. Then shewalked out to James, head high.
He was in the bedroom, lying on a full-sized bedmade up with light brown sheets. He was still wearing his dirty clothes, and he had one arm crooked over his eyes. When Poppy came in, he stirred.
"I'll go sleep on the couch," he said.
"No, you won't," Poppy said firmly. She flopped on the bed beside him. "You're dead tired. And Iknow I'm safe with you."
James grinned without moving his arm. "Because I'm dead tired?"
"Because I've always been safe with you." Sheknew that. Even when she'd been a human and herblood must have tempted him, she'd been safe.
She looked at him as he lay there, brown hair ruffled, body lax, Adidas unlaced and caked with soil.She found his elbows endearing.
"Iforgot to mention something before," she said."I onlyrealizedI forgot when I was . . .going tosleep. I forgot to mention that I love you."
James sat up. "You only forgot to say it withwords."
Poppy felt a smile tugging at her lips. That was theamazing thing, the only purely good thing about what had happened to her. She and James had cometogether. Their relationship had changed-but it still had everything she'd valued in their old relationship.The understanding, the camaraderie. Now on top ofthat was the new excitement of discovering each other as more than best friends.
And she'd found the part of him that she hadnever been able to reach before. She knew his secrets, knew him inside out. Humans could never know each other that way. They could never really get into another person's head. All the talking in theworld couldn't even prove that you and the otherperson both saw the same color red.
And if she and James never merged like two dropsof water again, she would always be able to touchhis mind.
A little shy, she leaned against him, resting on hisshoulder. In all the times they'd been dose, they'dnever kissed or been romantic. For now, just sitting here like this was enough, just feeling James breathe and hearing his heart and absorbing his warmth. Andhis arm around her shoulders was almosttoo much, almost too intense to bear, but at the same time it was safe and peaceful.
It was like a song, one of those sweet, wrenchingsongs that makes the hair on your arms stand up.That makes you want to throw yourself on the floorand just bawl. Or fall backward and surrender to the music utterly. One ofthosesongs.
James cupped her hand, brought it to his lips, andkissed the palm.
I told you. You don't love somebody because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them becausethey sing a song that nobody but you can understand.
Poppy's heart swelled until it hurt.
Aloud she said, "We always understood the samesong, even when we were little."
"In the Night World there's this idea called thesoulmate principle. It says that every person has onesoulmate out there, just one. And that person is perfect for you and is your destiny. The problem beingthat almost nobody everfindstheir soulmate, just because of, distance. So most people go through theirwhole lives feeling not complete."
"I think it's the truth. Ialwaysknew you wereperfect for me."
"Not always."
"Oh, yes. Since I was five. I knew."
"I'd have known you were perfect for me-exceptthat everything I'd been taught said it was hopeless." He cleared his throat and added, "That iswhy I wentout With Michaela and those other girls, you know.I didn't care about them. I could get dose to themwithout breaking the law."
"I know," Poppy said. "I mean-I think I alwaysknew it was something like that, underneath." Sheadded, "James? What am I now?" Some things shecould tell instinctively; she could feel them in herblood. But she wanted to know more, and she knewJames understood why. This was her life now. She had to learn the rules.
"Well." He settled against the headboard, head tilted back as she rested under his chin. "You're pretty much like me. Except for not being able to ageor havefamilies,made vampires are basically like thelamia."He shifted. "Let's see. You already knowabout being able to see and hear better than humans.And you're a whiz at reading minds."
"Not everybody's mind."
"No vampire can read everybody's mind. Lots oftimes all I get is a sort of general feeling for whatpeople arethinking.The only certain way to make aconnection is to-" James opened his mouth andclicked his teeth. Poppy giggled as the sound traveled through her skull.
"And how often do I haveto-?" She clicked herown teeth.
"Feed." She felt James getting serious. "Aboutonce a day on average. Otherwise you'll go into thebloodlust. You can eat human food if you want, but there's no nutrition in it. Blood is everything for us."
"And the more blood, the more power."
"Basically, yes."
"Tell me about power. Can we-well, what canwe do?"
"We have more control over our bodies than humans. We can heal from almost any kind of injuryexcept from wood. Wood can hurt us, even kill us." He snorted. "So there's one thing the movies haveright-a wooden stake through the heart will, in fact, kill a vampire. So will burning."
"Can we change into animals?"
"I've never met any vampire that powerful. Buttheoretically it's possible for us, and shapeshifters andwerewolves do it all the time."
"Change into mist?"
"I've never even met a shapeshifter who coulddo that."
Poppy thumped the bed with her heel. "And obviously we don't have to sleep in coffins."
"No, and we don't need native earth, either. Myself, I prefer a Sealy Posturepedic, but if you'd likesome dirt ..."
Poppy elbowed him. "Urn, can we cross runningwater?"
"Sure. And we can walk into people's homes with out being invited, and roll in garlic if we don't mindlosing friends. Anything else?"
"Yes. Tell me about the Night World." It was herhome now.
"Did I tell you about the dubs? We have clubs inevery big city. In a lot of small ones, too.""What kind of dubs?"
"Well, some are just dives, and some are like cafes,and some are like nightclubs, and some are likelodges-those are mostly for adults. I know one for kids that's just a big old warehouse with skate rampsbuilt in. You can hang out and skateboard. And there are poetry slams every week at the Black Iris."
Blackiris,Poppy thought. That reminded her of something. Something unpleasant ...
What she said was, "That's a funny name."
"All the dubs are named for flowers. Black flowersare the symbols of the Night People." He rotated hiswrist to show her his watch. An analog watch, witha black iris in the center of the face. "See?"
"Yeah. You know, I noticed that black thing, but Inever really looked at it before. I think I assumed itwas Mickey Mouse."
He rapped her lightly on the nose in reproof. "Thisis serious business, kid. One of these will identify youto other Night People-even if they're as stupid as a werewolf.'I
:You don't like werewolves?"
"They're great if you like double-digit IQs."
"But you let them in the dubs."
"Some dubs. Night People may not marry out oftheir own kind, but they all mix:lamia,made vam pires, werewolves, both kinds of witches ..."Poppy, who had been playing at intertwining theirfingers in different ways, shifted curiously. "What'sboth kinds of witches?"
"Oh. . .there's the kind that know about theirheritage and have been trained, and the kind that don't. That second kind are what humans call psychics. Sometimes they just have latent powers, andsome of them aren't even psychic enough to findtheNight World, so they don't get in."
Poppy nodded. "Okay. Got it. But what if a human walks into one of those dubs?"
"Nobody would let them. The dubs aren't whatyou'dcallconspicuous, and they're always guarded."
"But if they did..."
James shrugged. His voice was suddenly bleak. "They'd be killed. Unless somebody wanted to pickthem up as a toy or pawn. That means a humanwho's basically brainwashed-who lives with vampires but doesn't know it because of the mind control.Sort of like a sleepwalker. I had a nanny once..."His voice trailed off, and Poppy could feel his distress.
"You can tell me about it later." She didn't wanthim ever to be hurt again.
"M'm."He sounded sleepy. Poppy settled herselfmore comfortably against him.
It was amazing, considering her last experiencegoing to sleep, that she could even shut her eyes.
But she could. She was with her soulmate, so whatcould go wrong? Nothing could hurt her here.
Phil was having trouble shutting his eyes.
Every time he did, he saw Poppy. Poppy asleep inthe casket, Poppy watching him with a hungry cat'sgaze. Poppy lifting her head from that guy's throat toshow a mouth stained as if she'd been eating berries.
She wasn't human anymore.