She shocks me when she says, "Your father is dead."
I sit down on a chair beside her. Words refuse to form on my tongue.
" You caused a lot of problems for your father." She says it as if she is blaming me, as if it is my fault. I feel a deep sense of guilt. She continues, "Surely you understand. Your father went through persecution since that scandal you brought over this family."
" How could it be regarded as a scandal?"
" You were in an inappropriate relationship with a servant. How can you be so naive?"
This dream merges into another.
I am on a horse, and I do not even know how to ride a horse. I have never even seen an actual horse in real life.
Nudging the horse, it lurches forward, starting to gallop. My long, dark hair lifts in the air as the wind sweeps in under it. It feels as if a weight is lifted from my shoulders as my cares and worries, my discontentments, are stripped away from me. I approach a boundary wall, a stone wall built by peasants years ago. Turning my horse, I let it walk along the boundary wall until I see another rider, ahead of me, on the other side of the boundary wall.
He looks very imposing on his black stallion and as I get nearer to him, he turns in his saddle to look at me. Immediately I like him. The way his smouldering green eyes look at me, the way his dark hair hangs over his eyebrows. He smiles at me and my heart jumps fiercely in my chest. I ride past him without stopping and I can hear him following me.
He calls after me, "Are you not Eilish?"
I pull at the leather straps in my hands and stop. Turning in my saddle, I wait for him and when he reaches me, I ask, "How do you know my name?"
He smiles down at me. "I have seen you around. Where are you going?"
" Circling our land. And you?" I ask politely.
" Same. Just making sure everything is as it should be."
" So you know my name, should I not know your name?"
" I am Gerard."
I wake up with a start. My room is still midnight dark, and I do not want to reach for my phone on my bedside table to see what the time is, so I close my eyes and soon I am fast asleep again.
Gerard is sitting on the wall, beside his horse. It is as if he is waiting for me. I smile happily, but reluctant to let him see the joy on my face, I look down at him arrogantly and nod my head in acknowledgement while I continue walking my horse past him.