His eyes close at my words and his head drops slightly. “No, Em, I don’t expect you to just believe me like that. But let’s get one thing straight—it doesn’t matter if you have any fight left in you because I’m going to fight hard enough for both of us now, angel. It’s time for you to hand over all of that strength and maybe give me a few pointers, but it’s time…time to let me fight for us.”
I gasp, tears forming and rolling over my eyes without my permission. He doesn’t even give them a chance to fall before he takes his hands and frames my face, kissing each one as quickly as he can.
“Please don’t give up on me,” he whimpers.
That sound coming out of him is my undoing. A deep sob bubbles past my throat and I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight.
Our grips on each other don’t weaken. My tears soak his shirt and his breathing never slows, his heart beating rapidly against my cheek. I want so desperately to believe him, to take this lifeline that he’s thrown my way, but I’m scared.
The doubts and fears of what happens when he stops believing in us are almost too much. I need to think. I need to get my head together without him around, and even though I want to beg him to stay and take the comfort his arms are offering, I have to take this time—even if it is just tonight—and figure out once and for all if this is a road I can continue down.
Pulling back, I meet his eyes and tell him the only thing I can right now. “I need time, Maddox. I’m not asking for a lot, but just give me tonight…please.”
“I’m not fucking leaving, Emersyn.” His tone leaves no room for argument, but I know that, if he really means what he just said, he’s going to have to learn to give a little and not take it all.
“You really don’t have a choice right now, do you?”
His eyes darken, but I press on.
“Just a few hours ago, I cried myself to sleep with the knowledge that I had to give you up. I had talked myself into learning how to move on from everything I’ve fought for. That isn’t something I can just turn off with a few words. Even if they’re words I’ve craved. I meant what I said earlier in my letter—I bleed just like the rest of us. And right now, you need to go home and let me patch up those wounds and THINK.”
“It’s going against everything my body is demanding I do to make you believe me to just leave,” he pleads.
“Unfortunately for you, Maddox, right now, you don’t have a say. I need this time.”
He doesn’t speak, his eyes begging me to give in so fiercely that I have to move out of his hold and take a step back. His face drops with my movement and the truth sinks in. I’m not just giving in, and as much as it’s killing me not to, I need to make sure. If he is willing to give me this, then maybe he’s willing to really fight.
“I’ll give you tonight, angel, but I’ll be back. When the sun comes up, I’m going to be right back at your door, and I hope to God you will see then that I’m serious. I’m trying—I just need you to get some of that believe in us back and hold my hand as I go…because I’m going in blind, baby.”
I close my eyes and nod. He gives me one last pleading glance before moving towards me. He brushes his finger over my lips, trailing it down my neck before placing his hand over my heart.
“I want this back, and I’m going to do everything I can to have it.” He gives me one soft kiss before walking towards the door.
I get one more sad smile before he’s gone.
Then I crumble to the floor and cry. Everything I’ve wanted is right there—but will I be able to take a chance knowing that I might crash and break down even harder if he changes his mind?
Chapter 20—Emmy
I should have known that I would never be able to sleep with the thoughts that are spinning around in my head. Ultimately, I know which side will win. I still need to make sure that I’m ready to put myself out there, to take a blind chance, but then again if I don’t, then I will be proving to him that he was right all along. I’ll prove to him that the gift of his love means nothing to me.
And when it’s put that way, there is no way I can do that. I might regret it, giving him this last chance, but at least if I’m left without him in the end of it, I’ll know that I gave it my all.
He left a few hours ago, and after I was able to pull myself off the floor, I took a long and hot shower, using the time to get all my fears and hopes in order. If this works out, then everything I’ve known we could be together will be ours, and just the thought has me smiling.
Throwing back the covers, I take a look at the clock. Four in the morning. He’ll be here soon and I’m almost nervous to tell him that I’m ready. That, together, we will get through his darkness—and those damn demons he thinks are so prevalent that he has to keep others away.
A knock at the door has my head whipping around; of course he wouldn’t be able to stay away. I’m actually shocked he lasted the last six hours.
Straightening my tank top and making sure that my sleep shorts aren’t hanging off my ass, I walk to the door, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves.
Then I swing the door open with a smile—a smile that quickly dies when I see who is standing on the other side.
“Princess,” Shawn slurs. “Aren’t you a hard little bitch to track down.” His evil makes my skin crawl.
I can feel the bile in my stomach threatening to make its way up and I sway on my feet.
How did he find me? We were so careful from the beginning. When I first got away, Coop and Axel hid not only the trail, but every trace of me. I worked under the table. I had a credit and debit card under the company name. Even my apartment was in Coop’s name.
Holy shit! That’s when my own stupidity literally slaps me in the face. When I went back, I opened a bank account so I could get the hotel room, making it no secret where I was since they knew I was back.
And I didn’t touch it again…until last night.
Oh, God, why now? Why, when everything was starting to look up, does he have to show up?! Just when I started to believe that I could have it all.
“Have nothing to say to me? Well, I have to plenty to say to you, bitch.”