“Roan!”
I have to actually shake my head because her voice won’t stop filling it. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through the next semester feeling like this. There are memories lurking around every single corner of campus.
“Roan, stop! Wait!”
Even though I know it can’t possibly be Ivy yelling my name from the opposite end of the parking lot, I can’t help but whip towards it. As my eyes collide with hers, my mouth falls open in surprise.
“Ivy?” Even as I say her name, my eyes are eating her up. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes wide. She looks breathless. “What are you doing here?”
Not saying another word, she continues jogging towards me. It takes her just a moment to finally close the distance separating us. When she’s just about three or four feet from where I’m still standing, her feet slow to a stop. Her eyes suddenly flicker with uncertainty as they lock on mine.
It takes everything I have inside not to reach out and grab hold of her. Not to crush her long lean body against mine. I have to actually jam my hands in the pockets of my athletic shorts so I don’t do just that. Because all I want is for her to fill the emptiness within me.
But if I actually do that, if I touch her for even a moment, I know damn well I won’t be able to let her go again. It all but killed me to let her walk away earlier today. I’m not strong enough to go through that kind of heartache again.
Not nearly strong enough.
“Ivy?”
Sucking in a deep breath, her eyes search mine before she finally whispers, “I couldn’t just leave.”
Her words have my heart suddenly thudding painfully against my chest. “What do you mean?” Hope slowly begins to trickle into my heart.
Biting down on her lip she looks unsure before blurting, “I couldn’t leave without telling you just how much I love you. I’ve never felt that way before… about anyone. And I can’t just let it go.” She inhales a big breath before forcing it out slowly, sounding more sure of herself. “I don’t want to let it go.” Her voice continues to grow stronger. More resolute. “I don’t want to let you go.”
As much as I long to hear those words from her, they only make everything within me ache. It’s like throwing salt into an open wound. I can’t allow her to lose sight of her goals. “You have to go to Cincinnati, baby. You have to follow your dreams. I,” god this is so fucking painful, “I won’t stand in the way of that.”
Hesitantly she takes three small steps towards me. Raising her trembling fingers to my cheek, she cups the side of my face in the palm of her hand. I can’t help but close my eyes as she cradles it. My breath comes out sounding ragged and broken. Her touch, even as small as it is, kills me.
“You’re part of that dream now. Without you, the rest doesn’t mean anything.” She sounds so sure of herself, of what she wants. “We can make this work, I know we can.”
My eyes open before searing hers. “It won’t be easy,” I warn softly, “I don’t know where I’m going to end up next year.” But what she’s saying- I want it too. I want her. I want to make this happen between us because the alternative is to be miserable without her.
She takes another step towards me until our bodies are almost flush. Until I can all but feel the heat of her beautiful body against mine. “I don’t care. I just know that I need you in my life. And I want to be part of yours. I’ve never wanted anything more.”
Dropping my gym bag, my arms snake around her before hauling her even closer. My lips hover over hers for just a moment before I whisper, “Are you absolutely sure this is what you want? Because I won’t let you go ever again. I can’t.”
Her lips slide up into a big bright happy smile. “Good. Because I don’t plan on ever letting you go either.”
As soon as those words leave her lips, my mouth crashes down on hers and, goddamn, nothing has ever felt so good. So right.
One and a half weeks…
I’ve gone without the taste of her for one and a half weeks and they’ve been the worst of my life. Ivy’s the only girl who ever took the time to see me for the guy I am beneath all the surface bullshit. From the first moment I saw her, I knew there was something different about her. Something that called to me and had me continually coming back for more. I honestly can’t imagine my life without her in it.
Thank god, I don’t have to.
Being without her when she heads to Cincinnati is going to suck major ass. But I have confidence that we’ll get through this. We’ll find a way to mesh our two worlds and make it work. Because the alternative is to say goodbye and move on with our lives separately.