"Every man has some little power in some one direction," he would
say. "I was never really stout enough for the stone trade,
particularly the fixing. Moving the blocks always used to strain
me, and standing the trying draughts in buildings before the windows
are in always gave me colds, and I think that began the mischief
inside. But I felt I could do one thing if I had the opportunity.
I could accumulate ideas, and impart them to others. I wonder if the
founders had such as I in their minds--a fellow good for nothing else
but that particular thing? ... I hear that soon there is going to
be a better chance for such helpless students as I was. There are
schemes afoot for making the university less exclusive, and extending
its influence. I don't know much about it. And it is too late, too
late for me! Ah--and for how many worthier ones before me!"
"How you keep a-mumbling!" said Arabella. "I should have thought
you'd have got over all that craze about books by this time. And so
you would, if you'd had any sense to begin with. You are as bad now
as when we were first married."
On one occasion while soliloquizing thus he called her "Sue"
unconsciously.
"I wish you'd mind who you are talking to!" said Arabella
indignantly. "Calling a respectable married woman by the name of
that--" She remembered herself and he did not catch the word.
But in the course of time, when she saw how things were going, and
how very little she had to fear from Sue's rivalry, she had a fit of
generosity. "I suppose you want to see your--Sue?" she said. "Well,
I don't mind her coming. You can have her here if you like."
"I don't wish to see her again."
"Oh--that's a change!"
"And don't tell her anything about me--that I'm ill, or anything.
She has chosen her course. Let her go!"
One day he received a surprise. Mrs. Edlin came to see him, quite
on her own account. Jude's wife, whose feelings as to where his
affections were centred had reached absolute indifference by
this time, went out, leaving the old woman alone with Jude. He
impulsively asked how Sue was, and then said bluntly, remembering
what Sue had told him: "I suppose they are still only husband and
wife in name?"
Mrs. Edlin hesitated. "Well, no--it's different now. She's begun it
quite lately--all of her own free will."