Christian slowly removed his fingers from David, rolling on a condom before positioning himself over David’s body. Locking eyes with his lover, Christian slowly pressed into his lover’s wet heat. David’s body was like a vice, gripping him with head-throbbing tightness. Trying to breathe and remain in control was tough, but Christian concentrated and went as slow as he could, determined not to hurt David in any way.
Breathing like a marathoner, he sank into David’s body with as much control as he could muster, finally breathing semi-normally again once he was buried deep inside. David throbbed around him, and he leaned close, watching David’s eyes as they sparkled. “I wanted this for so long,” David confessed almost under his breath, and Christian smiled his agreement before kissing David ravenously, plundering his mouth as he slowly withdrew. David grasped him, making small begging sounds that stopped as Christian pressed forward once again. Christian moved as slowly as he could, but his desire for this man soon overwhelmed his control.
Christian had always dreamed the first time he was with David would be a slow and gently lovemaking, but David was having none of it. He met each of Christian’s movements, driving their bodies together. “Yes!” David gasped when Christian picked up the pace, and the last of his control faltered and broke. Christian was now operating on pure instinct, and David seemed to love it, his cries and moans pulling Christian to further heights of ecstasy. David’s eyes gleamed, his lips were kiss-swollen, and he looked the vision of decadence as their lovemaking continued. Christian knew what he felt, and that was the only word that made any sense at that moment. His heart felt as though it were being pried open in the best way possible, but there was also a hint of fear that he pushed aside as he forgot himself in David’s eyes and the way his body moved and felt. Christian quickly lost himself, David’s body squeezing him, the heat driving him.
“I’m gonna come!” David cried, and Christian felt the grip on his cock tighten. He could barely control himself, and then realized he didn’t need to. Letting go of everything, he reveled in the feeling of David’s body around him. Kissing him, Christian felt David cry out against his lips as he came, with Christian following right behind.
Christian was determined not to collapse on top of David, even though his body was nearly completely limp. Letting their bodies separate, Christian settled on the bed, with David nestled next to him. He’d wanted David for months and now he’d had him. The problem was that Christian had always said goodbye to his lovers after sex. He’d never stuck around, and this time he wanted to. More than anything, Christian wanted to roll on his side, pull David to him, and hold on for dear life, but his fear held him back. David seemed to be expecting him to say something, but no words came—at least not right away.
Chapter Five
David rested in Christian’s bed, wondering what was going to happen next. He could hardly believe he and Christian had done what they’d just done. Rolling onto his side, David closed his eyes before burying his face in Christian’s shoulder, sweat, sex, and Christian’s rich natural musky scent filled his nose, and David inhaled deeply. He kept waiting for Christian to say something, but he’d said nothing since their bodies separated, and David was beginning to get the idea that Christian thought what they’d just done wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it hadn’t been. Maybe David had let his feelings run away with him and Christian’s earlier words were just part of his routine.
Coloring at the thought, David waited, and then he felt Christian kiss his forehead, and David angled his face to capture Christian’s lips. “You were amazing,” Christian said softly. “I’ll never forget today for as long as I live.”
“I won’t either,” David said with a smile, burrowing closer to Christian, letting the heat from their bodies meld together. He knew he would never forget Christian making love to him, the first time or the eight thousandth time.
“I’m no good for you,” Christian said softly, and David tilted up to look at him once again. “You’re one of the best people I know and you deserve someone so much better than me.” Christian began to move away, getting out of the bed, his warmth fading. David watched as he pulled on his pants before sitting on the edge of the mattress. “Maybe it’s best if we try to forget this happened and we can go back to the way things were before.” Christian reached to him, lightly touching his shoulder.
David felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. He couldn’t believe that Christian was treating him like this. He blinked a few times and tried to tamp down the disappointment and heartache that threatened to come to the surface. David shrugged away, feeling like an idiot. “How can you do this?” David asked as he scrambled to get out of bed. “You touched me, you said you’d wanted me since you first met me, and now you treat me like this.”
“David,” Christian said softly, his voice rough, “I’m doing this because you deserve better.”
David found his pants and began to get dressed. “If I deserved better, then why didn’t you decide that before you fucked me?” He glared across the mattress, stepping into his briefs before jamming his legs into his jeans. ‘Is this how you treated all those other guys? It is, isn’t it? All those times I saw you with your models after a shoot, this is what you said to them, isn’t it?” David’s anger continued to build. “Isn’t it?” he shouted. “Well I’m not one of your models, and you can’t treat me like this. I cared for you and took care of you.” David leaned over the bed, smacking the back of Christian’s head, the sound echoing through the room. “I’m not someone you get to fuck for fun or pictures. I cared about you, really cared.” David began looking around for the rest of his clothes and he remembered his shirt was still in the studio.
“It’s for the best,” Christian told him as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Like you know what’s best for anyone. You can’t even take care of yourself!” David accused before stomping out of the bedroom and through the apartment. In the studio, he found his shirt, pulling it on before Christian followed him, which he did. David heard the door open and saw Christian looking miserable.
“I’m sorry, David,” Christian said. “I was so wrong.” Christian moved toward him, and David hurried away. He had no intention of allowing Christian to touch him. He’d already done enough. Hurrying to the desk, David grabbed his backpack.