“When do I get to pour the pancake mix?” Jonathan asked Hunter.
“Give me one second, buddy… Alexis, if you’d like to shower or freshen up, we’ve got this covered. Everything should be ready in twenty minutes.”
Jonathan jumped down, then pushed his stool toward the stove.
“Well, if you’re sure.” She hadn’t had time to brush her teeth or look in the mirror. For Hunter to make that comment, she could only imagine how frightful she must look after the night they’d had.
Hunter winked and turned back to assist Jonathan.
“Okay, but…be careful.” She left the room, and by the time she reached her bedroom, she realized her hands were balled into tight fists.
She stripped and started a steaming shower. Once she was under the pummeling jets, some of the aches in her shoulders loosened. Sometimes she was a control freak where Jonathan was concerned, and she knew she had to let go on occasion. But she knew Hunter wasn’t going to be around and she didn’t want Jonathan getting too attached to him. It was unfair. For so long she’d been the only person making decisions about Jonathan’s life, and she wasn’t so sure how she’d adjust to someone else in the picture anyway.
Michael had always loved Jonathan like he was his own, but he’d never taken an active role in disciplining him. Probably because she hadn’t let him.
Guilt still niggled at her for never fully committing to Michael. After last night however, she realized why she hadn’t. No one had ever made her feel the way Hunter could with a single look. After Hunter had left, she’d never let Michael or anyone else she’d dated fully immerse themselves into her life. She’d managed to keep things separated into different compartments. And she preferred it that way.
She wasn’t so sure if it was a defense mechanism, or a way to keep control. Either way, it didn’t matter. She knew she would eventually have to give up some of her control, but she was terrified at the prospect.
The water turned tepid, so she switched off the knob, and after drying her hair, quickly dressed into a cashmere sweater and jeans. She wasn’t sure if Hunter had already made the call to his old boss, but if he hadn’t, she knew he would soon and they’d be leaving. She should be excited about the thought of going back to her own life, but knowing Hunter wouldn’t be part of it left a gaping hole in her chest.
Hunter took a bite of his pancakes as he watched the interaction between Jonathan and Alexis. A mixture of pride and pain mingled inside him, making him want to crawl out of his own skin. The past couple of hours with Jonathan had been a blessing and a curse. It had given him more time with his son—time that only dug that knife of the inevitable deeper in his chest. Soon he’d be gone and would miss out on so much. He’d already missed out on a lot, but now that he’d met Jonathan it would be worse. Shaking his head at himself, he took another bite. It tasted like cardboard.
“Wow, Mom, I’ve never seen you eat so much for breakfast,” Jonathan said as he shoveled another bite of pancakes into his mouth.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Alexis took a sip of her orange juice.
A pinkish tinge played across her cheeks as she stabbed another piece of her pancake and Hunter couldn’t help but smile. He had a pretty good idea why she was so hungry. He’d woken her twice before the night was through.
“Mom, is it okay if Hunter comes to my play next month?”
This time she looked at him with wide, questioning eyes. “Uh…”
His throat dried up. He likely wouldn’t be around next month. But how did he tell a five-year-old that it was for his own good? And how the hell was he going to walk away from Jonathan now that he’d met him? Or Alexis, for that matter?
He and Jonathan had had a long discussion that morning. When Hunter had woken at a quarter to seven, he’d gone to check on the kid. He hadn’t wanted to wake Alexis, and he really hadn’t wanted Jonathan to find them in bed together. So Hunter took advantage of their alone time to talk to him without any interruptions. Talking to kids wasn’t something he was used to, but if Jonathan’s new interest in having him around this morning was any indication, Hunter guessed he’d done an all-right job. He’d apologized for what had happened at the beach yesterday and Jonathan had immediately told him it was okay. Kids were so much more forgiving than adults. But they hadn’t talked about the future, mainly because Hunter wanted to avoid it. Now that Alexis had broken up with Michael, a selfish part of him wondered if staying would be so bad. If being involved in their lives actually might be okay. Then he reminded himself that they were on the run because of him and that someone had tried to shoot Alexis and their son yesterday, and he remembered exactly why he couldn’t be involved any longer than necessary.
Jonathan continued even though neither of them had answered his original question. “It’s supposed to be the week before Christmas. And maybe you can spend Christmas dinner with us too? We usually spend it at Aunt Gwen’s.” Jonathan wrapped his hands around the half-full glass of milk and scooted it to the edge of the table, concentrating on not spilling it.
Alexis’s lips pursed into a thin line as she stared at Hunter. When he didn’t speak up, she turned to Jonathan. “Honey, we’ll talk about that later, okay? It’s too early to worry about holiday plans.”
“Okay.” Jonathan nodded and reached for the syrup. But he still wasn’t finished. “I’m going to be Snoopy in the Charlie Brown play,” Jonathan supplied and took another bite.
“Technically it’s You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown,” Alexis said, a smile tugging at her lips.
“And if I’m really good, Mom’s going to get me a dog for Christmas this year. Maybe one exactly like Snoopy.” His dark eyes lit up as he glanced at her for confirmation.
Alexis’s smile faded and she choked on her juice before finding her voice. “We’ve talked about this—”
“And you said I could have one.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his chin out mutinously. The first truly stubborn sign Hunter had seen from him.
“No, I said I’d think about it. My answer was maybe. Not yes.” She tapped her fork against her plate.
Hunter observed their interaction and frowned as new thoughts assailed him. What the hell did he know about kids? He’d spent a few days with Jonathan, but he had no clue about disciplining or what to do if he came down with a cold or something. The vise around his chest tightened again as he thought about how alone Alexis must have felt raising a baby by herself. Sure, she’d had her family, but her entire pregnancy must have been torture. Even though it wasn’t his choice to leave, it just reminded him how little he could offer her and how little he deserved her. The fact that she’d allowed him in her bed last night meant more to him than she’d ever know.
Alexis laid a light hand on his arm and he nearly jumped. “Did you hear anything I said?”
“No, sorry.”
“What on earth are you thinking about?” Her brow crinkled in confusion.
Since he couldn’t tell her what had been running through his brain, he grinned the most lecherous smile he could manage.
She gritted her teeth and smacked his arm. “Be serious. I said Jonathan is going upstairs to play in his room so we can talk.”
Almost on cue, Jonathan pushed back in his chair, grabbed another biscuit and ran from the room mumbling something about life not being fair.
“Sounds good.” He started clearing the table. As he loaded the dishwasher, Alexis came up behind him and handed him her plate.
“So what do you think?” she asked.
Maybe he’d missed more of the conversation than he realized. “About what?”
She rubbed a hand over her face and groaned. “About buying him a dog? He’s been begging for the better part of a year, but I don’t know if he’s ready yet. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m ready because I know exactly what will happen. I’ll be the one stuck training and cleaning up after it.”
His throat tightened. Something inside of him wanted to tell her that if she let him, he’d help out. The thought of helping house-train a dog was strangely appealing. As long as he shared that house with Alexis.
He put another glass on the top rack. At that moment, he desperately wished she’d tell him she wanted him around after all this was over. Even if he didn’t deserve it. Instead, he shrugged. “Sounds like he’s probably too young, but I don’t know anything about kids so…” He trailed off, letting her fill in whatever blank she wanted. He didn’t know jack about kids and she needed that reminder as much as he did.
“Right,” she muttered. “Have you called Connor yet?”
“No, I was waiting for you to wake up.” And he’d wanted to spend just another couple hours with her and Jonathan completely uninterrupted.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Okay, let’s make the call then.”
He fished out his cell phone and punched in the number he had memorized. “Connor? It’s me. I’m ready to make a deal.”
Tom Davis shut the door to his office and collapsed on the seat behind his oversized mahogany desk. Today had been one hell of a day and it wasn’t even noon.
Before he could turn on his computer, his cell phone buzzed. “Story of my life,” he muttered to the quiet office. Retirement couldn’t come fast enough.
“Yeah?”
“Get out of your office now,” the voice on the other end was unnaturally quiet. Like he couldn’t risk being overheard.
“What? Where are you calling from?” If he was calling from an unsecure line, it could blow everything.
“Hunter Cassidy decided to deal with the DEA. Word through the grapevine is they’re coming for you. Now.”
Davis wiped a sweaty palm against his slacks. “You’re sure?”
“As sure as I can be. I don’t know much, but I know you’re probably going to be brought in for questioning. And soon.”