'Does he know that you're telling me now? That you're sitting there admitting everything has been a deception right from the start?'

'There was no intention to deceive, never. The situation is hard for us as well, for Tom particularly. We spoke on the 'phone before I came out tonight. He was so miserable; he was talking about disappearing for good, whatever that may mean. This has been an awful shock for you. Give it some time.'

'You're always telling me to give things time. What difference will time make? Will it make Tom any less of a bastard?' Andrew's face was very flushed, and concern about his health helped me hold my feelings back. 'Let's not say any more. You go and get ready for your holiday, and I'll go back to the hotel. We'll just finish it there and talk about business in a week's time by 'phone as we planned.'

'The three of us, you, he and I, we've come so far together. We've meant such a lot to each other. We're all prone to error, anyone can fall...'

'Please stop, or I'm going to say things I'll regret. The situation is bad enough without you making it worse with excuses. Leave it there, please. If you don't mind, Andrew, I'd like to go back to the hotel.'

He called for the bill. An hour seemed to pass before we were able to leave the table. We found a taxi, but did not speak to each other until it drew up outside Goodmans Hotel. 'I could cancel the holiday, if you think that would be best. The flight tomorrow is booked but I could miss it; I've been selfish, the timing, the way this has come out, I've made a complete mess of it.'

'No. Go ahead with your trip. Depriving you of your break won't change anything, will it? You've made all the arrangements, you'd lose your money if you cancel now. Let's not discuss this any more tonight, let's do what we planned.'

'A final word. Tom looked to me for advice; he did what I told him was best. If anyone is to blame it's me.'

'I'm going, Andrew. I don't want to hear this. We'll stick to what we planned. That's as much as I can do. Leave it there, please.'

I climbed out of the cab, shut the door and walked up to the hotel without looking back. Darren sat at the kitchen table making notes from one of his text books and eating a bacon sandwich. He must have read in my face that something was wrong; he put his sandwich down and stood up. How was I to tell him that Tom, one of the people he had relied on and trusted, was in reality someone from whom he should have been protected?

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