I watched as he toyed with one of my hands, tracing it with his fingers. “I was just really wrong about you in the beginning.” I shrugged. “That’s all.”
“Wrong?” He lifted his head. “You know, we never really did talk about the beginning when you hated me.”
My throat stopped working. “You want me to tell you why I hated you?”
He nodded solemnly. “Why not?”
My throat was full for some reason. I coughed, clearing it, and started again. “I think I assumed you were like my ex.”
“The Parker guy?”
I raked my fingers through his hair. He ducked his head, a small rakish grin showing, and I felt flutters in my stomach. I sighed. “He looked like you.”
“He did?” Shay grimaced, continuing to trace his fingers over my palms.
“He wasn’t as good-looking as you. You beat him in spades in that area.”
He stopped tracing my palm and held my hands between his. “Thank goodness for that, huh?”
I gazed at our hands, my mind in memories. “He was arrogant, but I didn’t notice. Not at first.”
He asked me for coffee. I thought how mature he must’ve thought I was. But no. He knew exactly the effect of his charm. A mere freshman being asked out by a senior.
I had swooned.
“We went on a few dates before anything happened. I thought maybe he was scared to make a move, since most guys were. You know, because of Gage.” I could only shake my head. “That was so far from the truth. He was biding his time. He wanted me to fall completely in love with him.” A bitter laugh slipped out. “I found out later that he had a timetable. He wanted to make sure I was under his thumb by the time Christmas came around. Blake had been gone on a work thing. He was coming back then, and he wanted to meet my new boyfriend. Parker told me to keep it as a surprise. He thought Blake would get a kick out of it, so I never said his name. I was vague on the details, too. Blake just knew there was a guy.”
“He didn’t ask Gage?”
“Gage didn’t know how much Blake hated Parker. Blake kept everything a secret. We didn’t find out what happened until later.”
So, I told him.
Parker was a year younger than Blake, but he was still leader of the debate team, Yearbook Jr. Editor, and then Senior Editor later on, and in all sorts of academic events.
He was captain of the swimming and boys tennis team.
Blake was the opposite.
He excelled at partying, football, wrestling, and baseball. They were both popular, but Blake ran with friends who didn’t fight with words. They fought with their hands, and one night at a party, the two went at it. It didn’t matter that Parker was younger.
Blake humiliated him.
Parker was stripped of his clothes. The guys were laughing at him. There was an incident about running through a field where they chased him like he was a deer.
It wasn’t right, and I heard enough to be horrified.
The police charged my brother, and he did a year of probation. He never went to college, instead he stayed home and got a job with a local construction company.
“You didn’t know it was Parker?”
I shook my head. “I knew about the incident, but I never knew it was Parker. I might’ve heard, but I was four years younger than Blake. I only knew his friends. I didn’t know anyone else in his grade. I just knew it had been some guy.”
“I’m sorry.” Shay squeezed my hands, dropping a soft kiss to them.
I relished that small graze before I kept going. “It was like a bomb went off when Blake did get home. Parker came over for a dinner, a kind of ‘meet the parents’ thing, but it was Blake he was meeting. My mom was meeting him for the first time, too.”
Yelling.
Dishes shattered.
My mom yelped in surprise, and that stopped Blake from flinging a chair into the wall. He lowered it and pointed to the door. “Get out! NOW!”
“Parker left that night. So did I.” I met Shay’s eyes, saw the sympathy there, and knew I didn’t deserve it. “I chose sides that night. I chose Parker’s.”
“Kenz,” Shay murmured, rubbing my hand between his. “You can’t blame yourself. You were a kid. He was playing a game with you.”
“I lost the game. He slept with my best friend a month later. I walked in on them. He had her bent over the bed, and they dated for the rest of the year.” I could see them walking down the hallways, holding hands. “They laughed at me, almost every time they saw me for the rest of the year.”
“What an asshole.”
It still stung. I felt it in my side. “Yeah.”
“Hey.” His voice grew husky. He tipped my head up to meet his eyes. “Nothing right will happen for him. You know that, right? If he did that shit back in high school, he’ll do worse now. He’ll keep going until something bad happens to him. Guys like that get fucked in the end. They always do.”
No. They didn’t always, but I did feel a bit better. “Thank you for that.”
“For what?”
I shrugged. “For making some of the regret go away.”
“That?” He waved that off, standing. “That was nothing.”
I leaned back.
He started to crawl onto the bed.
I scooted farther back, making room for him, and after I was all the way to the headboard, he paused. He rested his legs over me, but he didn’t sit down. He was half-kneeling over me, bending down so we were looking each other in the eyes.
He dropped his voice, almost to a whisper. “We’re not really a serious kind of couple. I mean, we can be.”
We shared a look, both thinking of my attack.
He kept on, “But you know what I mean. You made me laugh from the beginning.” He cupped the side of my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek, lingering by my lips. “The feistier you got, the more I became entranced. I wanted to push your buttons. I wanted to see life flood to your eyes, make your face warm. I wanted to see the sparkle come back. It was like it took over you. It transformed you. Like you were on autopilot until something I said or did pissed you off. It could’ve been just a look, or hell, if I put my foot on the back of your chair.”
I stiffened. “I hated that.”
“See.” He chuckled, his eyes damn near melting me. “A switch flipped on just now. You’re here. You’re fine. You’re normal, and then you get mad, and it’s as if you glow. You light up the room.” He rested on the bed beside me, catching me and turning me so I was half-lying on him. He brushed some of my hair back, and I tilted my head to see him better.
I asked, “I’m like a neon light?”
“Exactly.”
“Are you kidding me? That’s your romantic speech?”
“Romantic speech? We have to do speeches now in this relationship?” He sat up, caught my waist, and lifted me to straddle him.
I gazed down at him, resting my hands on his stomach. He leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. He looked like he was a king and didn’t have a care in the world at that moment.
“Maybe we should.” I raised my chin up in a challenge. “Maybe you have to tell me five good things about me every da—”
“Sexy. Hot.” He was listing them off with his fingers. “Funny. Smart. Spunky.” His grin turned smug. “Your turn.”
I laughed, finishing, “—ay, and I’ll do the same for you.”
He sat up again, taking me by surprise, but he only ran his hands down my arms to my waist. They slid up under my shirt, and he angled his head to look me in the eyes. Our lips were only inches apart. “You’re supposed to compliment me, Clarke.”
“Ha-ha.” But I was game. “Fine. You’re sexy and hot.”
“Think of new words. Don’t copy mine.”
I changed without missing a beat. “Handsome and drool-worthy gorgeous—”
“Much better.” His smile grew.
My body heated as his hand began to explore, moving farther up my back. I added, hitching on a note, “You’re smart. Kind. You support me.”
“You know what else I’m good at?”