I opened my knees, and he slid between them, pulling me against him. “I want to know what this means, but at this second, I just don’t care enough to hear it.” He slammed his mouth against mine, groaning at the contact of my tongue against his. He held my head with his hands, angling my head to his perfect fit, kissing me deeper and deeper, until I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began. I had missed this so very much.
“Damn,” he muttered against my mouth. His muscles stiffened against me, and he pulled back slowly, leaving his forehead against mine.
“Josh?”
“I can say I don’t care what this means, but I can’t do this again. I can’t have you in my arms just to watch you walk away afterward. I’ve been dying inside since you left, and if you do it again, it will finish me off.”
I cupped his face in my hands, drawing back far enough to see him, but I couldn’t read his expression through his tightly shut eyes. “Look at me.”
He opened his eyes slowly. His eyebrows drew together and his lips tensed. “What are we doing, December? I leave in two days.”
“Do you know where you’re going next?” I hated this part of army life, but this was a small price to pay for him.
“Fort Rucker, Alabama. I know it’s in the middle of nowhere, and really far from Colorado.” His gaze flicked back and forth, and his hands tensed on my waist, like he was preparing for me to bolt.
“I know where I’ll be.”
His eyes narrowed. “Oh?”
Here it was, what would make or break us. “Josh, a letter came yesterday. I got accepted to Vanderbilt to transfer. I start in the fall.”
He sucked in his breath and let it out with a huge smile. “That’s amazing! Your dad would be so damn proud of you.”
“Yeah. He’d be proud of you, too.” I stroked my thumbs over his cheekbones. “Proud of us.”
“Is there an ‘us’?” He started to draw back, his smile replaced by tense lines. “I’d go through hell for you, but I have to know you’re in this with me.”
I closed the distance between us, kissing him softly until his lips eased above mine. “I’m all in, yours if you’ll still have me. I’ll do the distance and the waiting.”
“I thought that wasn’t what you wanted? A life of waiting? Worrying?”
“It’s just not much of a life if I don’t have you in it. I’ll worry about you whether or not we’re together.” His lips pursed again. Was he going to reject me? After everything?
He searched my eyes for a long moment and then smiled. “This time, I’ll wait. You go to Vanderbilt, and I’ll go wherever they send me. I’ll wait until you graduate. We’ll make this work. I don’t care how far away you have to be as long as I know you’re mine, and I’m yours.”
“We can do this, be together.” Saying it out loud made it real, possible.
“We will do this. I’ll never lose you again, December.” He kissed me gently, pulling on my lower lip with the slightest tug.
He lifted his head, stared into my eyes, and his pupils dilated when his gaze dropped to my lips. They parted. His breathing picked up for a few poignant seconds before he crushed my mouth to his, kissing me with the ferocity I had missed all these months.
Yes. This was where I belonged. Josh was my home. I lost myself in the taste of him, the feel of his skin against mine, and gave myself over without reservation. His hands tunneled into my hair, pulling just enough that I dipped my head back. He moved down my neck, licking and sucking in the perfect rhythm that drove me insane. “Hey,” I gasped, balancing myself on my elbows. “No PDA in uniform, remember?”
Without breaking contact with my skin, he ripped off his jacket, the buttons flying. Next went his starched white shirt. I grabbed his tie and drew him down to me, laying back against the desk. He pulled me to the edge, my dress riding up to my thighs as I pressed against him. I let out a sweet sigh; he wanted me.
I gripped his white tee, pulling it and the loosened tie over his head. They both joined the growing pile of clothes on the floor. With that simple move, he wasn’t Lieutenant Walker anymore, he was my Josh, flaming tattoos and all. He kissed down the skin of my shoulder. “God, December, it’s been so long.” His hands slid up under my dress, keeping the fabric over my thighs.
“Take it off,” I begged recklessly.
“No, someone could see, and I can’t let that happen to you.” He groaned against my clothed breasts.
Every part of me throbbed, needing him. It had been so long since I’d been near him, let alone touched him or been touched by him. I was starved for Josh and unwilling to wait another minute. “Please?” I arched my hips against him and was rewarded with a moan.
His hands slipped higher up my dress, skimming my thighs until he dipped between them. He pulled aside my soaked panties and stroked exactly where I was pulsing. I couldn’t stop the cry that tumbled from my lips, echoing around the lecture hall.
“Yes,” he said into my mouth, rocking his hand against me. He stopped, resting his forehead against mine, and took huge, gulping breaths. “Shit. I don’t have any protection with me. I’m clean. I just did my medical eval for basic, but . . .”
“And I’m on birth control. Have been since I was seventeen.” I wiggled my hips against his hand, desperate for more of the sweet pressure I knew would get me off. “Josh, if you want me to beg you, I will.”