Desperation made me do the one thing I thought I never could: I pulled down his boxers.
He groaned against my mouth, and with his free hand lost the boxers. For the first time in my life, I was in bed with a naked man, and it was glorious. I angled against him, knowing that if he moved the slightest fraction of an inch, he’d be inside me. God, I needed him there. I needed him to stop the ache, to quell the burn.
“Josh—” I rolled my hips against him. “Please . . .”
His breath ragged, he ripped his mouth away from mine, reaching for a foil packet in his nightstand.
A wave of reality rolled over me. He kept condoms in his nightstand. How many girls had he brought to this bed? How many times had he torn panties off with his teeth? How many girls had been right where I was at this moment? Worse, what did it mean about me that it didn’t change what I had decided to do?
“Ember?” He stilled above me.
I shook my head and feigned a smile. “I’m just glad you’re prepared.”
Something almost intangible flickered through his eyes, and his lust-sharpened features softened in a smile. “December Howard, you’re the first girl I’ve ever brought into this bed.”
“But you, and all those girls…”
He shook his head. “Never here. I have never brought any other woman into this bed. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted here. This is my space, and you’re a part of me. No one else ever has been.”
I was the first woman in this bed. A possessive smile graced my face, and I stole the packet from him, ripping it open, and then stared at it. Opening it was all well and good, but putting it on . . .
He took it from me and rolled it over his length, protecting us both. Then his mouth was on my breasts, and his fingers stroked into my folds, bringing the fire to a raging inferno. He knew just where to touch, just where to give, just where to take away. As he licked and sucked at my nipples, my head thrashed, my body reaching for his fingers as he slid them slowly inside me. Everything in me coiled tight, drawing inward until the pressure became unbearable. “Josh!” I screamed out as I came, my back arching off the bed.
As I drifted down from the high, he angled above me, bracing his weight on his arms. “Gorgeous, Ember. I could make you come every hour of every day just to see your face when you climax.”
I stretched my arms above my head, feeling warmed up like a purring engine. I ran my fingers down the smooth expanse of muscle and skin on his back until I gripped his ass and pulled him against me.
His breath left in a gush as his erection stroked me, but he still didn’t move, just kept staring into my eyes like he was waiting for me to retreat, to put a halt to this. “Josh . . .” I swiveled my hips until he nudged my entrance. My moment of naïve fear of his size lasted all of a second before I remembered he would never hurt me.
Every muscle in his body was rigid with the effort it took to maintain his control, but he still didn’t move.
I slid my body up, taking him inside me not even an inch.
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and when he opened them, they were so dark I couldn’t tell iris from pupil. “You’re mine.”
I was panting, desperate to get him inside me. “Yes,” I promised.
His jaw clenched. “Tell me you want this, that you won’t regret it tomorrow. I’m not taking your virginity if you’re not sure.”
“Please, Josh. I’m yours. I’ve been yours since I was fifteen. I want this, I want you. I love you.” I pulled on his neck, bringing him down to me, and thrust my tongue into his mouth at the same time he brought his body into mine. He swallowed my gasp.
He laid his forehead against mine, a fine sheen of perspiration covering his skin, making him glow. Any sting I felt dissolved after a few seconds, and I wiggled my hips. “Don’t. Move. Jesus, December. You’re so fucking tight, perfect.”
I gently bit into his lower lip. “Because you were made for me.”
“I love you,” he whispered, as though the confession had been ripped from him.
Thank you, God. Everything in my world fell into exquisite alignment. “And I love you,” I answered.
Something in him broke free, and with a primitive sound, he began to move, stroking my body with his in equal, measured thrusts, angling my hips just right so he pushed within me exactly where I needed him to. This. Was. Amazing. Pleasure radiated through me as I brought my hips against him by instinct, meeting him as he slid into me again and again.
He kissed me as he thrust, claiming my mouth the same way he was claiming my body: fully, completely, with no extra inch or give. There was not one part of me that didn’t belong to him. I vaguely wondered if he’d always own me like this.
He reached between our bodies and stroked me to insanity. A few moments, and I was spinning out of control. “More! Yes!” I demanded in a voice I didn’t recognize as my own. He grasped my hips in his hands and pushed deeper, harder, pounding into me without control, and I reveled in it.
My orgasm slammed into me, splintering me into tiny pieces just to further rip me apart and put me back together in a glorious moment of release. I called out his name and opened my eyes to see his face contort beautifully as he climaxed. “December,” he whispered in a strangled cry. Then he collapsed on top of me, his weight deliciously oppressive. I could barely breathe, and I wouldn’t have wanted to.
He raised his head and kissed me tenderly. “You okay?” His brows puckered. “I didn’t mean to lose it like that.”