"Happy Birthday Princess" I open my eyes to find my father staring at me with a huge smile. I love that smile of his it' so warm and full of love. This is the side of my father that I love to see. I look around the room and see pink balloons everywhere. Ugh I hate the color pink. Why does everyone think that just because you are a girl your favorite color is pink? "Thanks dad" I smile. He leans in and gives me a kiss on the forehead "Only the best for my baby girl". Nina walks in with a tray of fruits and blueberry pancakes my favorite. "Happy birthday butterfly" she puts down the tray and wraps me into a hug. "Thanks Nina you shouldn't have" I hug her back pressing my cheek into her chest. She always makes me feel loved she is the closest thing I have to a mom. "Don't be silly child," she gives me a smile "it's my pleasure". I fight the tears that are forming in my eyes. God what is wrong with me? I can't keep my emotions on check lately. "Well I have to go add some few details to the party I'll see you later princess" my father gives me another kiss and walks out the room. "How are you feeling butterfly?" she ask. Nina can sense there is something bothering me. How she does it I have no idea. She knows me better than my own father. I put my best smile on trying to fool her "Great it's my birthday". She shakes her head "Butterfly I am your nanny I've change your dirty diapers. I know when you are happy, sad, and when you're lying. So let me ask you again how are you feeling?". I don't know what to say so I shove a fruit in my mouth to buy some time. If she keeps pushing me I'm going to end up telling her the truth. "Same old same old" I say. "Butterfly you know you can trust me with anything right?" she ask. Of course I know I can trust her. She has been my best friend in this hell I call life I just don't want to put her in the middle of anything. "I want you to have this," she takes out a white envelope from behind her back "but don't open it now wait until after the party". Why do I have to wait to open it? I take the envelope which is heavy and thick. I wounder what's inside. "Thanks Nina" I smile. "Don't open it until after" she gives me a hug before walking out. I walk to the closet and hide the envelope if I hold on to it I'm going to end up opening it. Today is the big day there is no turning back down now. After I shower I start to get ready for the party. If there is one thing that calms me down is doing my make-up. I learn how to do make up by watching videos online. That's just one of many things I needed my mother for. Let's not even talk about the first time I got my period. Boy was that an awkward conversation with my father. I add some moose to control my curls I decide to wear my hair down. I got my color hair from my dad just one of many traits I got from him. I got his color hair, his nose, and his attitude. I think I got my eyes, smile, and height from my mom. I walk over to my bed and change into my outfit. The dress is very simple nothing out of the original. It's a long one shoulder black dress with a splitting on the side. I'm putting the last details on my make up when there is a knock on the door. "Come in" I say as I put on mascara. "Oh my butterfly you look gorgeous" Nina walks in. "I clean up pretty nice huh?" I spin for her to get a full view. "You look like a doll" she says with tears in her eyes. I guess I'm not the only one feeling emotional today. "This old thing" I try brushing it off. "I got you something" she pulls out a small blue jewelry box. "Another gift? I thought the envelope was my gift?" I say surprise. "Well this is part two of your gift but you can open this one right now" she hands it over to me. I open the box and pull out a gold necklace with a Celeste blue butterfly my favorite color. "Wow Nina it's beautiful" I hug her and take in her scent for the last time. I feel a knot forming inside my throat but I swallow it back down I can't break now. "Can you put it on?" I hand her the chain and turn around to hide my sadness. "Do you know why I call you butterfly?" she ask. "No" I shake my head. She has been calling me butterfly ever since I can remember. I never once stop and thought why. "I call you butterfly because you remind me of one. From the first time I saw you I fall in love with you. You were so beautiful and full of life. All your life you have gone through different stages and you always come out brighter and stronger just like a butterfly. They aren't born with wings they have to go through a process just like you. Now that you are becoming an adult you are going to experience new things" why does it feel like she is saying her goodbyes? Why is she telling me this right now? "Every time you look down at this I want you to know that you're not alone. I might not be physically but I'll always be there in spirit. Remember Jane you can't dance if you don't move". I can't fight the tears no more. I turn to face her with tears falling down my face "No crying butterfly you are going to ruin your make-up" she says. Her eyes are fill with her own tears. She cleans my tears and gives me a hug I know this is her saying bye without saying it. "I love you Nina" I return the hug. I can't say bye to her it will tear me up inside. "Love you too butterfly" she lets go of me and walks out the door. I take one last look in the mirror "No turning back" I whisper to my self as I clean my eyeliner. I walk downstairs and the party is in full swing. Everyone is drinking and talking to each other. I don't even know half of the people in here and I really don't want to get to know them. The only reason they are here is because they kissing my father's and uncle's ass. "Excuse me" my father yells and the room goes dead. He reach out for my hand and I place my hand on his "I want to wish my beautiful Princess Jane a happy birthday. Jane,'" he turns to face me and his eyes are full of emotions "You are my precious gift from God. I want you to know that you are my pride and joy I love you Jane and all I wish is for you to be happy" his voice sound hoarse. His words sting me I wonder if he will feel the same after tonight? At the end of the day he is still my father and I love him just like any girl would love her daddy. I smile at him "I love you too daddy" I try not to cry. "Cheers" he lifts up his glass and everyone joins him. The music start back up and I go around the room greeting people. All I want to do is find Sammy but everyone keeps stopping me. "Hello baby" some one says behind me. I don't even have to turn around to know who that voice belongs too. "Raul I'm not your baby so don't call me that" I turn around and cross my arms. Raul is one of my father's "coworker's" son. He has been trying to sweep me of my feet since I can remember. At the beginning I fell for it like any dumb teenage girl. I wasn't allow to hang out with any one yet along date so when he came around it was a game changer. He was so sweet and respectful to me that I couldn't help but to fall for it. I was never in love with him but it was nice to have some guy attention. He was the first boy I ever kissed. Although we hanged out and kissed we never made it official. Boy am I thankful for that I sure dodge a bullet with him. With time I started to see the real Raul. Him being sweet and respectful was only just an act to get me to notice him. All he really care was being on my dad's good side. "You look so sexy tonight maybe we can get away so I can give you your birthday gift" he steps closer to me. By birthday gift he means some thing else. "What?" I gasp trying to sound shock "You actually brought me a gift?". He laughs and smirks "I have your gift inside my pants if you want it now". Ladies and gentlemen this is Raul for you. If only my dad would hear him talk to me like that he would have nothing in his pants. I gag and roll my eyes at him "Not even in your wildest dreams". I turn around to walk away put he grabs my arm "How about a dance then?" he gives me a wicked smile. I swear he doesn't give up. I have been turning him down since I found out the only reason he wanted to date me was because his dad told him it would be good for business. "I don't think so" I look down to where he is holding me and then back at him. If he knows what's good for him he'll let me go. "Aw come on just one dance or are you scare?" he taunts. Scare? This boy knows how to push my buttons.