She turned to Karen. "Please go outside for a little while, Hon. I want to talk to your mother."

Karen sensed the change in Suzie. "No! I mean, please let me stay! Are you going to say something really serious is wrong with her?"

"Let her stay," I said with a smile as I turned to Karen. "I bet Suzie thinks I might be pregnant but she doesn't know I can't have babies and never could. I have an upset stomach, that's all."

My sister looked from one to the other of us. The look on her face frightened me. She pushed me down on the sofa. She looked up toward Karen but addressed me.

"Does Karen know about Doug?"

I smiled. "You'd be shocked how few secrets Karen and I have. What about him?"

My sister turned to Karen. "He wasn't as nice a man as your father; not even in the same league."

"He was a bastard and I told her that. What does he have to do with my being sick?"

Suzie began to cry, upsetting both of us. "He lied to you. He had a vasectomy because he was too damn selfish to ever have children! He joked to Ben about it when those two guys were still talking."

"I had tests! The doctors said I couldn't get pregnant . . . ever!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! The doctors said I'd have difficulty giving birth because of my size and structure but I insisted I wanted to go ahead anyway. I didn't think Doug would agree but he did. When I couldn't get pregnant, I had tests and they came back that I couldn't conceive. I can't get pregnant!"

"Who told you the test results? I'll bet it was your son of a bitch of a husband!"

I felt panic rise up as I tried to remember; had I actually spoken to the doctor personally? My mind was a blank slate and it showed on my face.

"God, Sarah, I'm so sorry. I never thought you'd want to get pregnant now! You're forty!"

"Suzie! I can't be!" I could hardly catch my breath. I rushed to the bathroom once again.

When I returned, Suzie held Karen for dear life. Both were crying. "Tell us the last time you had a period," she asked. We all knew the answer.

Ben barged in the door all smiles, before he encountered three females bawling their eyes out.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"Oh shut up!" Suzie yelled, then went to his arms and cried against his chest. She managed to blubber how she'd screwed up her sister's life and more colorfully described what a bastard my husband had been.

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R. E. Derouin

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