“How would you feel if you were dead and someone had control over you?” I shook my head with irritation. “Just because their dead doesn’t mean they don’t deserve my respect.”
The ghosts wavered like a gloomy optical illusion as they hovered all around the room.
“Order another one,” Dorian said, ignoring my previous comment.
I bit my lip while my eyes traveled over the translucent bodies. I stopped on another female. Her head was hung and her hands clasped in front of her.
“You,” I said as I got up from the floor and walked with caution towards her. The woman lifted her head slow. The area where her eyes would be was nothing but round circles. I fought to keep eye contact with something so freaky. I didn’t want to appear weak around the spirits who may or may not resent me for summoning them.
“What’s your name?” I asked to the spirit.
“Rosella.” Her voice was soft and came out as a whisper.
“Ask her who killed her,” Dorian said behind me.
Looking back at Rosella, I asked, “Who killed you?”
The vials of vampire blood were supposedly from the vampires who were dangerous, so I didn’t expect her answer to mean anything to me. They were ones who killed my kind for the simple fact of harvesting our blood. I didn’t know why Dorian wanted me to ask the question.
“Alonzo Moretti,” Rosella answered.
My body froze, along with the blood in my veins. Out of all the names she could have said I did not expect her to say Aiden’s given name. I wasn’t stupid, I knew Aiden killed before, but to see his victim standing in my living room so sad and alone was a whole other ballpark—one that put things into perspective. The Aiden I knew wasn’t a murderous monster. The Aiden, or Alonzo, Rosella met was.
I stared wide eyed at Rosella as I imagined Aiden sinking his fangs into her neck and ending her life long before it should have ended. I imagined what her family must have gone through losing her, and more disturbing, I wondered if she was just a woman on the street he’d attacked, or if he wooed her with his charm, gained her trust, and then killed her. Either way it didn’t matter, she was dead and my boyfriend was the reason why. Staring at her felt like an omen. Would I end up like her someday? Would Aiden not be able to suppress his hunger for my blood and drain me? This was a crack in the otherwise happy world I’d painted around Aiden. The big question was, would the crack cause it to come shattering down around me?
“You knew, didn’t you?” I whirled around and faced Dorian. I turned all of the emotions I was feeling into anger and focused it on Dorian. “Did you think I didn’t know he’s killed before or was this some sick joke, some macabre way to knock sense into me? What did you and Holly think? If I saw her, I’d come to my senses and leave him?” I waited for Dorian to answer, but when he didn’t speak right away my anger grew. “Tell me!” I yelled.
Dorian stood and walked over to me, reaching out towards me but when I flinched, he dropped his arms. “This was Holly’s doing. When you summoned the spirits, I did not know who killed them. But when the spirits appeared tonight and after meeting Aiden, I made the connection. I’m sure this was Holly’s way of making you see the type of person you’re dating. Or she thought it would be funny for you to sic Rosella on Aiden. I’m sorry it upset you, but I thought you should know should we end up using the spirits against the vampires,” Dorian paused for a few moments. “I did it because I didn’t want you caught off guard. I’m sorry it upset you, but you’re not angry with me—“
“I’m not?” I interrupted.
“No, you’re mad because you’re a good person, Gwen. And seeing one of the women you’re boyfriend killed makes you feel guilty for being with him. You’re mad at yourself. If it makes you feel better, he killed her a long time ago. It probably happened when he just turned. New vampires are slaves to their bloodlust.”
We regarded each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. My eyes welled with tears as I thought about all of the people Aiden might have killed over the years. I spent my life using my gift to catch killers, and now I was dating one. Aiden may not be that person anymore, but the thought did nothing to erase the fact he used to be.
Ignoring Dorian, I turned to the spirits and said, “Leave.”
One by one the apparitions disappeared. Without another look at Dorian, I stormed off and slammed my bedroom door where I fell onto my bed and cried. It may have been the stress of the past few weeks, or the fact Aiden’s ugly past had been shoved in my face, but once the tears began I couldn’t turn them off. I cried until sleep claimed me.
18
My heart clung to Aiden’s good side. The side that made me smile and sent a jolt of desire through my body. The way his eyes lit up when he looked at me and the look he got when he defended me. My heart grasped at the good parts of him like a life preserver while my mind analyzed if I could ever overlook the fact he’d killed innocents. Knowing something was not the same as seeing it. Was this enough to break up with Aiden? No. But would I look at him the same way? I hoped so. I wasn’t ready for my world to come crashing down, and if it did, I didn’t expect it to be at Aiden’s hands. We’d dated for a month, but. We started in friendship that grew into something more substantial, and now that we were together, I couldn’t imagine being apart. Of course that was just my heart talking. My mind had the tendency to overthink things, to run them into the ground until I understood. There was no understanding this scenario. It happened a long time ago, before I was even born, but it still gnawed at my brain like a hungry zombie.
I don’t know how long I stayed in bed staring at the ceiling after I woke up. Glancing at my alarm clock, it was just after five. The sun would be setting, and the vampires would be here before long. I needed to collect my thoughts and tuck them away until I could speak with Aiden. How do you tell your boyfriend you chatted with a woman he killed? Perhaps this was the reason why I never asked Aiden about his past. Deep down I knew what I’d find, and a part of me was afraid of how I’d handle it.
I felt stupid because I was upset over something that occurred so long ago and it was a little late in our relationship to even question it. Vampires kill people, plain and simple. Some do it for sport while others allow their thirst to override their willpower. But what bothered me the most was the fact I felt guilty for being with Aiden after meeting Rosella. Dorian had been right. When I saw Rosella, her death and sadness soaked into me, causing my guilt to overflow. Meeting her and finding out Aiden was her killer made me feel like I was an insensitive person.
Two soft knocks on my door pulled me up into a sitting position. Aiden walked in, his black hair disheveled and white snowflakes on his wool coat. Unlike Moon, Flora’s weather wasn’t altered. I loved the snow, but the circumstances suppressed any excitement I might have had from the sight of it. Aiden watched me warily, his eyes searching my face for something unspoken.
“Hey,” I said coolly.
He sat on the edge of my bed, placing his hands on either side of my face and his lips massaged mine, almost feverishly. The normal desire I felt when he kissed me didn’t overwhelm my body. My mind was too confused to enjoy his kiss.
“I had to taste you one last time,” he whispered against my lips.
“What are you talking about?” I sat back so I could look into his eyes.
Aiden grabbed my hand, his thumb rubbing circles on my skin. His blue eyes regarded me while his lips hesitated to speak. “Dorian told me what happened and how upset you were. I’m sorry you found out like this—.”
“It’s not exactly ground breaking news, Aiden,” I interrupted. “It did upset me to meet one of your victims. I could feel her emotions like they were my own. She was so sad, but I’m not naïve. I know you’ve killed. I just never thought about it before.” I studied him for a few moments. “You and I are okay. It was disconcerting, but we’re good.” I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that they were true. The interaction with Rosella had been upsetting but it wasn’t enough to ruin what Aiden and I had.
Seeing the worry on Aiden’s face eased my tension and eased my mind. He wasn’t that man anymore, the kind who went around killing innocent women. His eyes were so full of sorrow it almost broke my heart to look at him. Aiden wasn’t the mushy type who cried, but his eyes were glossy with what looked like unshed tears. “What’s wrong?” I squeezed his arm.
“Living over six hundred years, I’ve seen and done horrible things. Humans have the pleasure of dying and paying for their sins. Vampires live with them for centuries, sometimes millennia. I’ve learned to block those things out; otherwise they would drive me insane, but that’s not what’s bothering me. The way you looked at me, like I was a monster, is more than I can bear.” Aiden’s lips twitched as he thought about something. His eyes regarded me with something that resembled nervousness. “That and the fact I’ve been keeping something from you for the past month, something that will change the way you think of me.”
I searched his face for the answer, but all I saw was regret and shame. My breath caught in my throat, my hands trembled, and my heart stopped as I waited for him to put me out of my misery.
“W-what is it?” My words stumbled over the lump in my throat while I fisted my sheets until my knuckles turned white.
“Something happened a month ago, and I can’t keep it from you any longer. It’s not easy, but I won’t make excuses for what I’ve done—“.
Aaron Larue stepped through my door, interrupting Aiden’s confession. “Is our lesson going to be in bed then?” he asked with a flirtatious smile.
I wasn’t in the mood to deal with a horny vampire who looked like he should be in high school. I also wasn’t in the mood to deal with Ian Despereaux, the NAWC, the VC or the plan. Aiden’s words were just another crack in the pretty picture I let my heart believe in. How many more fissures could it take before it all came smashing down around me?