You cannot beat yourself up over decisions others are ultimately responsible for, Azriel commented. Tao had the choice. He chose to help, just as he chose to save Ilianna by consuming the elemental.
If he weren’t there, he wouldn’t have had to make the decision.
And Ilianna would now be dead. You cannot have all things, Risa. Fate is not a generous woman at the best of times.
Yeah, I’m learning that. To Rachel, I said, “Did you try his phone?”
“I can’t, because all his belongings are still upstairs. He didn’t even change.”
Damn. I closed my eyes for a moment and fought for calm. “Do you need me to get someone in?”
She hesitated. “Jacques is due in next shift—perhaps if you could get him to arrive a little earlier? We’re not usually rushed until after six most Tuesday evenings.”
“I’ll do that. Let me know if Tao does show up again.”
“I will.”
She hung up. I called Jacques and asked him to start early, then threw the phone onto the bed and glanced at Azriel. “I don’t suppose it’s possible for you to locate Tao via his life force, is it?”
“That would depend very much on which life force is in control. If it is the elemental, then no.”
“Well, at least we’d know for sure if the elemental has taken over.”
Azriel nodded. “It may take me a few minutes. Do not leave the security of this place while I am gone.”
“I won’t.”
He disappeared. I picked up the phone again and dialed Ilianna. “Hey, gorgeous,” she said, expression cheerful and green eyes glowing with happiness. “How are you?”
I couldn’t help smiling. “The celebrations obviously went well last night.”
“Very well. I’m one contented mare right now. Not even the fact that I have to meet Carwyn again can spoil it.”
Carwyn was the stallion her parents were trying to set her up with. According to Mirri, he was rather hot—in bed and out—but given Ilianna’s preferences, she was either going to have to be honest with her parents or get stuck with a mate she didn’t want.
“When is that happening?”
She grimaced. “Tomorrow night. I think it was supposed to be just him and me, but Mirri is coming along. She thinks we should be honest with him.”
“It can’t hurt, can it?” She couldn’t help her sexual preferences, and the sooner Carwyn was aware of them, the better it would be for them all.
“He’s a horse-shifter,” she said dryly. “A male horse-shifter. They don’t think straight when it comes to mares.”
“I’m still siding with Mirri on this one.”
“Traitor.” The fierceness of her tone was more than a little diluted by the glint of amusement in her eyes. “To what do I owe the honor of this call?”
I hesitated, then said, “Tao’s walked out of the café and can’t be found. I don’t supposed you’ve had any particular vibes were he’s concerned?”
Ilianna wasn’t only a powerful witch, but also a very strong clairvoyant—and a far more reliable one than I’d ever been.
“No, I haven’t.” She frowned, expression suddenly concerned. “Is it the fire elemental?”
“I think it could be. I know he was having trouble controlling it earlier.”
“I’ll do a locating spell and see if I can find him.”
“Great.” I hesitated. “Though if the elemental has taken over, will a locating spell even work?”
“I don’t know.” She bit her lip for a moment. “A locator spell works on the energy of the person, so with Tao’s body chemistry constantly changing—flowing from flesh to elemental depending on which being has more control—it’s going to be difficult to pin him down. But I can try.”
“Let me know the minute you find anything. In the meantime, I’ll rope in Stane and Jak.”
“Why the hell would you involve Jak?” Her voice held a note of disbelief. “It’s not like Tao needs someone like him—someone only after a good story—on his case.”
“Jak has his nose to the ground and can hunt stories in places neither of us would get near,” I said. To say Ilianna had a hate-on for Jak was like saying night followed day—blindingly obvious.
“You be careful with him, Risa. The last thing you need in your life is another heartbreak.”
“Trust me, Jak is getting nowhere near my heart.” I gave her a lopsided grin. “Or my body.”
She harrumphed. “I’ll be in contact.”
“Thanks.”
I hung up, then scrolled through the contacts list until I found Jak—though truth be told I knew the number by heart—and rang him.
All I got was a recording telling me to leave a message. I did so, asking him to let me know if he heard about anything unusual dealing with fire, then tossed the phone back onto the bed and decided to grab a shower while I waited for Azriel to return.
He’d done so by the time I’d dressed, and one look at his expression told me everything I needed to know. I swore and thrust a hand through my damp hair. “Now what are we going to do?”
“There is nothing we can do—not until he regains his flesh form.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
He studied me for a moment, expression giving little away. “If he doesn’t, you have a choice to make.”
I stared at him, my stomach suddenly twisting itself into knots. “No.”
“There may be no choice,” he said, voice even but somehow relentless. “If the elemental has won the war, then Tao is already lost to you.”
“No!” I clenched my fists against the anger—the useless, sick anger that was fueled part by fear and part by the knowledge that he was right—and added, “I will not give up on him.”
While there was life, there was always hope.
Besides, I’d promised Tao I would do all that I could to help him win. Giving up at the first major hurdle was not doing that.
“Risa—”
I made a chopping motion with my hand. “I don’t want to hear it, Azriel. I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what fate plans. I don’t care about being sensible. I will not give up on my friend. Okay?”
He studied me for several seconds, then crossed his arms and turned back to the window. Every inch of his muscular back seemed to radiate displeasure.
“Okay.”
“Glad we agree,” I muttered. I grabbed my phone, then stalked out to the kitchen.
I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry, but I wasn’t about to fall into the trap of not eating. Not when I actually felt reasonably healthy for the first time in ages.
I made myself a coffee, then sat down and consumed a large bowl of Coco Pops complete with lashings of whole milk. Not the healthiest of meals, but a slight step up from the chocolate cake that had initially tempted me.
As I rinsed the bowl out, my phone rang, and the funeral march tone told me it was Hunter. I closed my eyes and, for all of three seconds, resisted the urge to answer it. But Markel’s warning loomed large in the back of my mind. I swore softly, then did the sensible thing.
“There’s been another murder,” she said before I could even open my mouth to say hello.
Of course there was. I mean, why wouldn’t fate just chuck more fuel into the bonfire of insanity that was my life at the moment? “Same MO?”
“Apparently. The report came in via Directorate channels, and it is not someone I know.”
Thank god for that. The last thing we needed was for someone to be targeting Hunter’s friends or lovers. She was close enough to the edge as it was. “I’m guessing you want me to check it out?”
“Yes. The address has been sent, so get there.” Something flashed in her eyes. Something that was almost unholy. “Find this thing, Risa.”
She hung up. The phone beeped as her message came in. I glanced at it, noting that this time, the murder had occurred in the more middle-class suburb of Caulfield.
Azriel appeared in the kitchen. “How do you wish to travel there?”
I hesitated. “As much as I’d love to go on my bike, I’m thinking that when Hunter said ‘get there,’ she meant immediately.” If not sooner. I grabbed some gloves out of the cupboard under the sink, then stepped toward him. “Ready when you are, chief.”
His arms came around me, wrapping me in warmth. “Hardly an appropriate name when you never listen to a word I say, let alone do what I say.”
Though his tone was light, there was an edge that suggested there was more emotion behind the comment than he’d intended me to hear. I glanced up quickly, but his power surged, sweeping us from flesh to energy in a heartbeat before zipping us through the gray fields.
“Azriel—” I said, as we re-formed, but the rest of the sentence was cut off by a sudden and angry, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
And the shit just hit the fan, I thought, but plastered a smile on my face as I turned around. Uncle Rhoan stood in the doorway of the ultramodern brick and concrete two-story house, his red hair glowing in the last remnants of daylight and gray eyes glinting with anger. Obviously, Hunter had not given me priority over the Directorate this particular time.
“I was asked here,” I said. “Believe me, I’m no happier about it than you are.”
He eyed me for a moment, expression disbelieving. “Are you saying Jack ordered you here?”
“Yes, I am.” And heaven help me if Jack didn’t back that statement up.
If Rhoan detected the lie, he gave no indication of it. He came down the steps and strode toward me. I held my ground in the face of his fierceness, even though all I wanted to do was run.
“Why the fuck would he do that? You’re not Directorate.”
No, I was something far worse—Hunter’s go-to girl when it came to all things hell related. And while Jack might be the senior vice president of the Directorate and the man who ran the guardian division, it was Hunter who held the reins of overall control. She also happened to be Jack’s sister, and he was undoubtedly wise enough not to go against her wishes—not even when it came to something that would ultimately cause him grief. Uncle Rhoan had not been a happy camper last time I’d been called in to help the Directorate, even though that had been totally accidental. The lunatic he’d been hunting just happened to be the same one I’d come across on the astral plane, and the creepy bastard had subsequently decided he only wanted to play his games with me.