I could see I'd frightened her but I didn't care. Perhaps I was being unfair but everything we'd been able to do was close to ending with a sad whimper, due to the greed of this woman.
She slumped down, her hands to her face. "I'm just kidding myself. He won't stay with us for a minute when he learns what I did. God, when he goes it will kill Molly."
"It will be up to Howie. I'll tell him if you won't. This pretending and lying can't continue. He has to learn you're at least suspicious. . ." I regretted the words as soon as I'd spoken; suggesting a lie to cover a larger one."
Julie looked encouraged. "You could tell Howie I came to you for advice; that I just suspected and didn't know what to do, not that I've known all along! I did come to you; that's not a lie! I mean; I don't really know, do I?"
I abhorred the very idea of getting immersed in this tangle of deceit but even to a lesser extent did I want to see Howie hurt. Was this a possible way to salvage our operation that otherwise was doomed to wreckage? I knew I would be suborning a lie and allowing a relationship I felt strongly was tenuous at best to move forward into a life commitment. I couldn't block out of my mind, my wife's statement a few days ago; think of all the children who he could be saving. Was the deceit worth it for their sake?
"I'll talk to Howie," I said reluctantly. "What happens beyond that is between the two of you."
The tears continued to seep down Julie's cheeks but she didn't sob. "Thank you, Ben."
"Just be thankful you didn't go after the million before they yanked the contest." My heart dropped when I saw the look on her face. "Julie, tell me you didn't!"
"They. . . they never replied. The paper cancelled the whole thing the next week. It's okay, isn't it?"
Rural Ontario, Canada. She was a beautiful child. I'll miss her so as she missed her mother whom I was forced to lay to rest before the little lovely was mine. Now she too is gone.
She fortified me to move forward, however and so I am continuing my quest for knowledge of her, of tipster fame, who dogs me. No, not in Idaho I'm certain. Let others less astute than I follow that erroneous path. I know better.