“You belong,” was Mateo’s answer, before he worked his way to his feet. Josiah wanted to ask him what he meant. Ask where he fit, but before he had the chance, Mateo spoke. “Let’s go. I’m gonna tear shit up out there.”
They were hardly on the ice two seconds when Mateo went down. Josiah scrambled toward him, afraid he would be mad.
“Everyone falls the first time. Let me help you.” He held his hand out to Mateo, and when he looked up at Josiah, he started laughing. Josiah couldn’t help but laugh, too. Mateo reached out, and he could have sworn, even through their gloves, he felt Mateo’s heat.
When he pulled, Josiah lost his footing and instead of pulling Mateo up, Josiah went down.
“Fuck,” Mateo hissed out, making Josiah realize his elbow was in Mateo’s stomach.
“Dude! I’m so sorry.” He rolled off Mateo and onto the ice.
“No worries. How ‘bout I help you up this time.”
He watched as Mateo twisted, turned and pushed to his feet. He held his arms out, as though trying to keep his balance. His cheeks were pink. “Okay. I think I got it.”
This time it was Mateo’s hand coming out to help Josiah. They locked hands and Mateo helped him to his feet. As soon as he was up, Mateo let go of his hand but didn’t move away. They were standing so close he felt Mateo’s breath. Around them, people skated as though Josiah wasn’t experiencing the best day of his life.
“You good?” Mateo asked.
“Yeah. Remember, I’ve done this before.”
Mateo winked. “Didn’t stop you from ending up on your ass.”
“Bet it won’t happen again.” Josiah grinned, proud of his comeback.
“Then let’s do this.”
Mateo fell at least five more times that day...but he laughed a lot, too. They ate lunch, and William and Molly bought them hot chocolate. When they went back home, they ordered pizza before Molly pulled out presents.
Josiah’s hands were shaky as he opened the first package. Mateo stood on the opposite side of the room as everyone else, eyes on Josiah. He wanted Mateo to come sit by him, even to sit by William or Molly—someone just to be a part of this—but he knew not to ask.
He opened a video game first. Then, some new shoes. Afterward they had cake and ice cream, then watched a movie.
Long after he and Mateo had gone to bed, Josiah still laid there in the dark with his eyes open, wishing Mateo was doing the same. He never wanted this day to end.
Chapter Ten
Mateo
Mateo tightened his hand and rubbed his thumb over the top of the wood. It was stupid, holding it like this. The damn thing had been in his pocket all day. He and Josiah had been lying in their beds forever, and he squeezed it against his palm the whole time he should have been sleeping. It wasn’t like it was that big a deal. Actually, he should probably throw it away. He wasn’t even sure why he’d made it. It was such a pussy thing to do.
“Mateo?” He actually jumped a little at the sound of Josiah’s voice in the dark.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for going today.”
Ice skating wasn’t his thing. When Molly told him they were going, he wanted nothing to do with it. But nothing could have made him stay home, either. He wanted to go with them. He wanted to spend Josiah’s birthday with him more than anything else.
“Wanted to go.”
“You did?”
How could he not know that? “Yeah, Jay. Why wouldn’t I? That was a stupid question.” As soon as the words left his mouth, guilt rolled through him. “I’m a prick. I didn’t mean that.”
Josiah was quiet for a few minutes. Each second seemed to take longer and longer to tick by. He always said shit without thinking. It would serve him right if Josiah got pissed at him. “I didn’t mean it.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.
“It’s okay. Did you have fun? I think it was perfect. It almost feels like...I don’t know. Like a real family—I mean, not us. Not that I don’t want to be, but...well...”
Mateo couldn’t help the chuckle that jumped out. Josiah made him laugh like that a lot. No one ever made Teo laugh besides Josiah. “Yeah... No offense, but I’m not thinking we should go for the brother thing. Not after that shit that happened the night Molly and William were gone.”
Holy crap, what was it with him saying the stupidest stuff around Josiah? He hadn’t meant to bring up their kiss. A part of him wanted to—wanted to do it again, but Josiah felt too good for him. Josiah deserved better. He’d realize that one day. Plus he was innocent, so damn innocent. Teo didn’t want to take advantage of him.