“She doesn’t have much hair on her head to harm, does she?”
Pain twisted through me. Fuck this, I had to know for sure.
I opened my eyes. “Jeremy?” It came out as a croak. Three pairs of eyes swiveled towards me.
“Initiate Smith! We’re so glad that you’re alright. You destroyed the wraith.” The Arch-Mage shook his head in disbelief. “We never even knew that was possible.”
I tried again. “Thomas?” My throat felt as if I had several sharp knives embedded into it.
“Mackenzie,” the stunningly beautiful woman, with very cold hard eyes and who I took to be Solus’ Queen, cooed, “you’ve really caused quite a sensation, you know.”
“Don’t worry about that though,” stated the Arch-Mage, placing a hand on my arm. “We’ve arranged for an oath to safeguard the memories of everyone who witnessed your, uh, transformation. A lot of students and indeed the mages saw what happened from the windows. But we’ve ensured that they won’t tell anyone. Your identity is safe. It’s just the three of us who are unbound. Some,” he shot an annoyed glance at the Summer Queen as he said this, “coming later to the party than others.”
Oh, fuck off. Just fuck off and tell me what I want to know. I raised myself up onto my elbows and glared at the three of them.
“I’m sorry, Mack.” Corrigan’s voice was quiet. I looked into those familiar emerald green eyes, and saw the flash of warm sympathetic gold in them. “He didn’t make it.”
I closed my eyes and bit down hard on my tongue. It didn’t help. Huge wracking sobs flooded me, shaking me down to my core. Corrigan moved closer and reached down, then lifted me half up, hugging me gently to him. The tears ran uncontrollably down my face as he rocked me back and forth, saying nothing else. I cried into him, gasping in pain and sorrow. If I’d just gotten there a heartbeat quicker then I might have saved him.
“There was nothing you could have done,” he said, stroking my head. “Not for him or for the student.”
I thought of Brock and the promise within him that would now never materialise. The simple joy in his eyes at his success with Deborah, success that would now never lead to fruition of any kind. He was so young, and so good. I cried harder. Corrigan said nothing else, just held me whilst it all came flooding out, pain tearing through me in ripples of numbing loss and desolation.
I don’t know how long we stayed in that position for, just that it was for a long time, his arms remaining in place even after I’d managed to bring the sobs under control. Eventually I pulled away, and looked at him.
“You’re wearing mage’s robes,” I commented quietly, in a bizarre effort to focus on the mundane.
He glanced down at himself and his mouth twisted. “It was all they could find at short notice.” Then he reached out, his thumb gently rubbing away the tracks of my tears on my cheeks. “You’ll be all right, Mack. You’ll get through this.”
I lifted my head up and looked him in the eye. “Yes,” I responded dully, “I suppose I will.”
Corrigan’s hand moved to my shoulder. My own robes were still hanging off from where Solus had torn them before. “That wasn’t there before.”
“Huh?” I flicked my eyes down. There were three perfectly formed and perfectly healed scars curving their way across my shoulder, just ever so lightly coming to rest against my collar bone. Solus would be pleased, I figured.
I moved away from him, planting my feet on the bare floor. “Where’s the Arch-Mage?” Clearly at some point both he and the Summer Queen, if that’s who she really was, had decided to leave us to it.
“Mackenzie, you really should rest.”
I shot him a look that brooked no argument.
“Fine,” he sighed. “I think he’s in the Dean’s office.”
I stood upright, wobbling just ever so slightly. Corrigan moved to my side to support me, but I gently pushed him away. “No,” I said calmly. “I can manage.”
The journey from the infirmary to the office seemed interminably long. Real pain, not just emotional pain, was shooting through me, and I felt almost completely overcome with weariness. I was determined to do it on my own, however. We passed several students, milling around in little worried bunches. At one point, I caught sight of Deborah, her tear-stained face mirroring my own. Our eyes met for a second, then I looked away. I couldn’t face her. She turned to Mary, and buried her face in her friend’s shoulders. Mary glanced over at me, with a small half smile of sad encouragement. I grimly pushed forward.
Outside the Dean’s office, both Mage Slocombe and my Illusion teacher were there. They bowed their heads to me in a moment of surprising deference, then moved out of the way. I acknowledged them briefly, wishing fervently and deeply that it hadn’t taken an event of this magnitude to finally be accepted by the mages as one of their own. The sad irony was that I now I had provided absolute proof that I most definitely wasn’t one of them after all.
The door was already open, so I limped in without knocking, Corrigan close behind me. The Dean was back behind his desk, but when I entered, and he looked up, he just seemed old and tired. The Palladium sat alone on the middle of the table. I looked away from it, barely able to even acknowledge its now malignant presence and my focused my attention instead on the Arch-Mage on the sofa, with the Summer Queen beside him.
“Initiate Smith!” he said warmly. “You are up and about! I’m so pleased.” He half rose from his sitting position but I beckoned him back down again.
“Don’t call me that.”
He stopped and stared up at me.
“I’m not an Initiate any more. You know there’s no longer any need for it because I’m not a mage.”
The Dean’s head jerked up sharply at my words, but he didn’t say anything.
I continued. “You will release Mrs. Alcoon from stasis and release me from my oath. I won’t do any harm to your or your mages. I think I’ve proven that by now.”
The Arch-Mage opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it. He nodded glumly. I flicked a glance over at the Queen.
“You’re the Summer Queen?”
She nodded, rising gracefully and holding out her hand. I ignored it. I wasn’t here to make friends. “Will you help transport my friend back here? To this plane?”
“I can do that,” she answered in soft, yet steely, tones. “But, Mackenzie, you should know that you can come and join us in Tir-Na-Nog. I can assure you that you’ll be safe there.”
“That’s all right,” I answered, looking away from her.
Corrigan stepped forward. “Will you come with me? I won’t force you, Mack, you know that. And I won’t look after you if that’s what you want. You’ll have how ever much freedom you want.”
I smiled at him gently and touched his cheek. There was a part of me that so desperately wanted to say yes. To give in, and no longer be alone. But I had things going on that I needed to sort out on my own. I had to get to the bottom of what I was and I had the feeling that I had to do it myself. The bickering between the three of them whilst they’d thought I was still unconscious proved that.
“No, Corrigan. But thank you. I need to do this on my own, at least for now.”
He nodded, green eyes flicking down to the floor. I looked round at the three of them. I reckoned they were all still pretty stunned by what had happened this day. I also doubted that it was very often that anyone ever came along and told them no. But for once in my life I felt like I had the power and control to do just that.
I smiled again mirthlessly at them all, and then limped back out.
Epilogue
Spring was just beginning to break through the harsh chill of winter. All along the park’s edge, snowdrops drooped their heavy heads in pretty cheer, and here and there the shoots of daffodils were beginning to peek up through the softening ground.
In the distance, I could hear the calls and yells of a group of kids playing football, their voices too indistinct to make out beyond the odd whoop or curse, whilst in front of me the air shimmered, flickers of purple and green. Before too long, Solus appeared with Mrs. Alcoon on his arm, blinking confusedly around her.
“The mages kept their word,” he said, barely able to look me in the eye. “As you can see she’s awake and fit as a fiddle.”
I smiled at the old lady who was still looking around her surroundings in utter confusion.
“Thank you, Solus.”
“Dragonlette, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You did what you thought you had to do. I’d probably have done the same.”
He stared at me. “Who are you and what you have done with Mackenzie Smith?”
I smiled again, softly. “Oh, I’m sure she’ll make a return one of these days.”
The Fae took a step forward, then changed his mind and shuffled back. “Have you…have you tried to do it again?”
I didn’t bother to insult both our intelligences by asking what he was referring to. I just shook my head and reached out for Mrs. Alcoon.
“Mackenzie, dear, I’m really feeling very confused. One minute we were in the bookstore, and now somehow I’m here.” She looked about herself yet again. “And it appears to be spring.” She frowned and turned her eyes to me. “And you seem to have no hair.”
Solus moved back, giving me a quick glance and mock salute, before disappearing back from wherever he’d appeared from.
I focused on my old friend. “Mrs. Alcoon, it’s a very long story.”
“Well, if you’re prepared to tell it then let’s get settled somewhere over a lovely cup of tea.” Her eyes twinkled up at me.
Damn. I had a horrible feeling I knew exactly what kind of tea she wanted. Well, just this once, as it was a special occasion…
“Okay. I think there’s a little tea shop just around the corner from here.”