“Ask her what, Mom?”
“To be her daddy,” she leans forward and whispers, looking behind me where Molly is singing along to the radio.
“She’s already got a daddy, Mom. I would love to hear those words from her one day, but I don’t want to take her father’s place. I’d gladly share the role, but not take it when it’s already been taken. God, I’m a nervous mess.”
She reaches forward and pats my cheek, “I know you are. It’s a big step, but one I know you’re ready for. I’ve told you over and over how much of your father I see in you, but watching you fall in love with Megan really brought that home. Don’t second guess yourself, son. I understand what you’re saying about Molly and her daddy, but just because she has a father that she lost, doesn’t mean you would be replacing him by stepping into those shoes. That girl has more love to give then she could ever figure out how to give out.”
“As far as I’m concerned she’s already my daughter.”
My mother’s wise eyes look into mine and she smiles, “And as far as your father and I are concerned she’s already our granddaughter, so . . . I suspect it’s up to you to make that official.”
I laugh, say my goodbye and then hug my mom before jumping into the driver’s seat.
“You and me have a date today,” I tell a smiling Molly.
Her eyes grow huge and she looks over at me like I hold all the secrets in the world. “A date?”
“Yeah. You’re my favorite little girl in the whole entire universe. It’s time for me to show you off. Let everyone know that you’re mine.”
Her eyes don’t lose their wide wonderment, but she gives me a small grin. “I’m yours?” she questions.
“Forever and ever, stuck with the biggest, stickiest, gooiest piece of bubblegum in the whole world.”
She laughs, loud, and smiles at me with her crooked smile.
Molly chatters off and on about everything she did at my parent’s house the night before. I don’t hear much, my nerves too busy holding my attention, but I slip in responses here and there, each time her big smile grows a little more.
God, I love that kid.
When we get to the Italian restaurant that she loves so much, I make a big production of walking around to her side of the truck, pulling the back door of the duel cab open, and offering her my arm after helping her climb down. The whole time she just giggles.
Her snickers don’t stop until we’ve placed our order and our drinks are delivered.
“Leelee?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I love you more than the moon,” she says softly with an undertone of unsureness that has me moving from the seat in front of her, to the one next to her.
“Molly, look at me baby,” I demand and wait for her to move her light brown eyes from her water. “You want to know a secret?”
Her small head nods and she continues to study my face.
“I had another reason, other than showing the prettiest five-year-old in the whole universe off, to take you out on a date, just me and you. You see, I have big huge plans that I need to make with you. Plans I need to be kept a super-secret, secret. Can you do that?”
She gives me another nod, a small smile coming over her face, and I can tell she’s losing some of that uncertainty that had come when telling me that she loved me. This little girl, having gone through so much in her little life, who loves bigger than anyone I know, is actually afraid I would turn her love away.
“You need to know, without a single doubt that I love you back, sweetheart. I love you just as much as I love your mommy, and that, Molly, is huge.”
“How huge?” she whispers.
“All the way to the sun. All the way to the moon. All the way to the farthest star away from us. And then back again.”
“That’s really, really far away,” she gasps.
“It sure is. I told you. I love you huge, sweetheart.”
She’s silent for a few seconds and I sit back. When her small hand reaches out and lands on the one I have resting just besides her water glass, I look back up and see questions in her eyes.
“What’s on your mind, Molly?”
“If you love me huge and I love you huge, does that mean that you’ll be my second daddy now?”
And my heart, when I didn’t think it could get any bigger, grows so large my chest burns with it.
“There isn’t anything I would love more, Molly.”
“Yay,” she says, her tone soft and her eyes bright.