We fall asleep like that and while in the safety of his arms I feel the peace I’ve been working for. All the pain of the past vanishing as I let go of the last hold it had on me and while I drift off to sleep, thank God that Lee brought me back to life.
I felt it.
When she finally let go and gave me all of her.
It was a moment that rocked me straight to my core.
When she gave me her body, I watched that last tiny bit of fear bleed from her face, and the realization that she can trust in our love enough to let go.
I don’t know what I did in my life to deserve her love but whatever it was I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure I’m worthy of that gift.
Her body goes slack and I know she’s asleep, but I still can’t get my arms to let go. I hold on, all through the night, and not once do my arms slip.
“Darlin’,” I call down the hall, grabbing my keys off the table by the door before walking down the hall, “Megan?”
“In here,” she grumbles from the closet.
“What the hell?” I question when I walk into her room. “Did your closet throw up?”
“Funny.” She moves back from her closet and almost trips on the shoes that are scattered on the floor. “I was looking for my black boots, but I think they’ve vanished to the same mysterious land that my socks always go missing to.”
“Mysterious land?”
Her hands come up and plant on her hips. “I’ll have you know that place is real. How else do you explain how hundreds of socks a year just vanish? Poof. Gone and never to be seen again.”
“My guess? They probably just fall behind or under the dryer.”
Her eyes narrow.
“Or maybe they vanish to a mysterious land,” I add with a smile.
Her eyes soften and she smirks. “Okay, so I’ll admit that maybe I’m losing my mind because I have to finish this book and I know that, I do, but I can’t seem to figure out how to end it. It’s like the ending is right there, and I know it’s going to be so beautiful, I just can’t find the right words.”
I reach out and lightly tug at her biceps until she shuffles forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and dropping her forehead against my chest.
“It’s right there, Lee.”
I fold her in my arms and bend to kiss the top of her head. “Maybe, darlin’, you can’t find the words because the story isn’t finished.”
Her head tips up and rests against my chest with her chin. “Meaning?”
“I’m not going to pretend to understand what goes on in your head when you’re writing those brilliant books of yours, but baby, you’ve told me enough about this book that I see all the parallels with our own story. Maybe you can’t find the end because it’s not ready to be written.”
Her nose crinkles and she bites her lip.
“I love you, darlin’. Take the time you need to work it out. I’ll go pick up Molly from Mom and we’ll go out to lunch. That should give you a few hours to figure out what you need.”
“Okay, I can do that,” she says, but I can tell she isn’t paying attention. I’ve already lost her to her words.
I love watching her work. I could have a full conversation with her and she wouldn’t hear a word of it because her mind is still playing chess with her characters.
I also wasn’t kidding when I told her why I think she’s held up on ending her newest book. She’s let me read the beginning of The Helping Hand, a book she told me was titled after me. Or better yet, my urging in the beginning of our relationship to take my hand. It wasn’t a shock after hearing that that the book she’s working on might as well be a biography of her life.
Which is exactly why I think she can’t finish it.
Yet.
But that should all change soon.
As long as my lunch date with my favorite five-year-old goes as planned, that is.
“I’ll be home later,” I tell her and kiss her forehead again.
“Buckle up, little lady,” I tell Molly before shutting the door of my truck and turning back to my mom.
“She’s a sweetheart, Liam.”
“I know, Mom. Best girl in the world,” I tell her, making her smile grow.
“I’m guessing you already know this, if I’m judging your plans today correctly, but you don’t have to worry. That little girl already thinks the world of you.”
I close my eyes and nod.
“In fact, I think you’ll be happy with what you find out if you just ask her.”